Friday - No time to blog on Thursday

Missing a day is bad news - been so busy this week I feel almost normal.
So to break the missing bits into small chunks and chew slowly. Had a big meet at work Wednesday afternoon discussing how to snaffle someof the extra money that the NHS will be given after April to improve its computer systems. Problem is they made a list last week and it came to three times the dosh that is likely to be available. I worry that even if we get a lot we aint got many people about with the right skills. I am also concerned about the amount of endless peformance monitoring stuff we have to submit to the centre (whatever that means). Perhaps if we asked saddam, blair, bush and co to fill in all these returns it would prevent the meltdown in the Gulf. It seems to me that everyone is so busy filling this stuff in to monitor their performance that they aint got time to perform (which could be a good thing in the gulf). I am having those strange old feelings that I want to make a difference to health for real people and I guess that seems a long way away at the minute. Make jokes about chucking it all in and going to be a clinical person again. Something stirs deep inside about why I joined up as a nurse anyway, all those years ago. I manage to stop these delusional ideas affecting my performance at performance monitoring. Wednesday Night is quite poignant as we raise a glass to Peter, and talk about old times and friends who are no longer with us.
Thursday morning got to be at Aintree Hospitals to see Mr Kerrigan at the ungodly hour of 9.15. This will involve a trek up Queens drive, a main artery of liverpol, at rush hour which is not easy. I opt for light relief on the journey talking handsfree to John Mc, top primary care technician and all round good egg.I do miss working with him. Arrive handy at Aintree and secure a decent accessible parking space. Do a few phonecalls and prepare an agenda for the meeting with Mr K. Not sure but anticipate its to talk about websites, and support. Rather than matters personal. Correct in my assumption, and for two hours we cover huge areas. The man is a star, I have noticed this personality cult that weight Loss surgery people develop about their surgeons. When someone gives you a life back its hard not to look at them as some kind of saint. We discuss this at length, I hope I don't do this but my suggestion that I design Dave Kerrigan memorabilia and mechandise betrays me. He is impressed with the selling locks of his hair idea,though, think of the income generation potential. We discuss a vast range of things in a circuitous way and I feel like we are the same wavelength about quite a few things. Getting some professional help with the wlsinfo website which is good and looking at printed info for those people without t'internet. Though a lot of big people have internet access as it is an enabling tool, if you can afford it. Leave with lots of plans after 2 hours. Miss a meeting of the trainers and head straight for the matchworks spending oly 25 minutes on the rocket flyover because of roadworks, still a good chance to phone people. Arrive at Matchworks and some big prescribing team doo is on, not sure what it is but the lunch smells good. See Frank (GP not barber) another one of the Ken Clare support team who will be shortly enter the sainthood. Meet some other docs, some of whom are really encouraging about the weight loss, some of whom dont mention it (maybe they didn't notice). The event is run by Ali my heavily pregnant mate, I will miss her when she goes on Mat leave as she is sound and supportive to me. off to childwall to see Sam and the gang, what a great job she has done in my absence, though I still feel guilty about being away so long. Had a good natter with one of my staff who is in the TA about the stae of the gulf
Home to the girls and off to mums for her 73rd birthday, we bought her a groovy chick cake, some flowery things and bulbs. She is very difficult to buy for. See Sandra at Tescos we went in for a cake and a pint of milk and spend 35 quid.See brother Dave and his partner Maria at Mums. My sister Mary is off to the theatre in Manchester. BAck home a few phone calls, bit of surfing and its time for ER. A very moving (tear jerking) episode on E4.
Friday then, a meeting at the matchworks, then Eileens dads funeral and off to Leeds for an evening meeting. The weight loss support group for one of the two surgery centres in the city.A busy weekend ahead.

Wednesday AM

Popped into the Matchworks, Missed lunch (not good) had a good meeting with Caroline and Paul (my counterparts) between us we cover the whole of Liverpool. Had a natter with a few folk and sorted some stuff out. Popped into the library, saw Mo, Tracey and King Blogger. Realised that running a blog can afffect how you interact. People seem to know about the details of certain aspects of my life. They also get miffed if they dont get mentioned (sometimes). It feels a bit like a confessional sometime, and I am talking to myself, forgetting that there is a sad band of people peeping in to my equally sad life (several of whom just stormed out in a huff). I am worried I will let something thats supposed to be confidential, slip in my dear diary secion.
Anyway matters food had three quarters of a banana at 3.30, then egg and beans about 6. Barfed that up, ate in a rush I think. Went to mother in laws and saw Ruth and Pauls excellent pics from New York. Bit of webbing later on and been invited to a weight loss surgery support group in Leeds on Friday, bit apprehensive, but would like to go, there are practical things, like getting to Leeds for 6.30 on a Fridaybut we'll see. Just had a phone call from Si, whose 40th we went to last week one of our contemporaries Peter, died on Saturday, just out of the blue. We all used to be in the Boys Brigade together many moons ago. Funeral on Tuesday at 1pm, I'll have to make a few phonecalls, that's knocked me for six.

Tuesday - early starter

Haircut yesterday and that always helps, Frank is so positive. Back to the house and a call from Tina who is pre-op two weeks out, she is coming to see us on Sunday. Hope it helps her. Off to the gym then quick tea, which comes back whilst watching program about wls. Corrie climax for trickie dickie. Up at 6 this morning to pick Ruth and Paul up from the airport, they enjoyed New York but looked tired. Digestion out of kilter as a consequence. Getting there now, and off to work shortly. Going to Hammy House so not sure what to do about lunch.

Monday Monday

Went to the hospital yesterday, Nanny Banks looks better, though going to be in for another week, while they organise a home assessment. The outcome of which will be that the house aint suitable, but she aint movin so why bother. The interaction between my mum and my nan does my head in. It was bedtime last night before I was able to tell Jean and Ally about it. The deafness, shouting, repetition, multitheaded conversations, racism, and time delay conspire to wreck my head. At least with my sister there, I feel strength in numbers. Got home eat lasagne nice, went for a walk round the block, without stopping and not even breathless. I messed about with website and stuff, girls went to church, and pathfinders. I stayed up late bit of trouble getting off to sleep. Couldn't use my PC to acess my work account - not good.Got up early (8.30 middle of the night for me). Webbed away the first part of the day till waking a sleeping Ally at 10.30. I need a haircut today so its off to Franks at some point. Left some tidying work and catering to sort. Had a hankering last night for roast potatoes. Contacted by a woman from Bury last night, Tina, she is 10 days pre-op invited her over. It certainly helped me talking to someone before the op. Waiting for an email or call back today. Back to work tomorrow. Eileens dad passed away last week, never easy, no matter what age and whatever circumstances. I will try to make the funeral on Friday.
Have to go the gym later today I think, or tomorrow after work.

Sunday Morning

Well things got busy as they do. I went to the gym. I LOST 9.5LBS THIS WEEK, I was made up big time, I had eaten the most since the op and lost that much weight, and feel great. Fair ran round the gym, done more walking then ever cardiovascular up to 35 minutes. Made up.Had a good natter with Van, he's sports development manager or something, doesn't usually supervise the gym more strategic I think. Anyway his degree is in PE and IT so we had a lot to talk about. He's got a mate who is a Javascript programmer who is going to do me a Body Mass Index calculator (Its a way of calculating how obese you are) developed in 1840. We had a good rant about many subjects under the sun. Got home and was a bit excited about my weight loss, had some covent garden chicken soup, with bread. Something got stuck and I went in to reverse mode and a little barf. Cant help thinking I should have chewed more, also the excitement meant I should have waited. Part of the learning curve said Jean, right as always.
Worked on website and nattered to Mick on MSN messenger. Went to pick mum up from the royal, she dont look well but says she is better. She wanted to go to LIDL a german discount supermarket on London Road. She likes it because its cheap and does good boiled ham. Its a weird place, man with one copy of big issue sat outside, not many white faces inside, and a plethora of weird products. I bought a keyboard and mouse from there before christmas for Ally. The wine range looked and I was taken by their 2.99 cabernet, very nice indeed. Dropped mum off and went to Tesco, nice white middleclass experience, a lot more comfortable,did a little shop. And realised how far apart the Tesco and Lidl worlds are. Hmm. Nothing on telly after the cricket last night till Parky at 10.20, I am getting old, Parky and Radio 2, I'll be buying hush puppies next, and sports casuals. England winning at both rugby and cricket in the same year? weird. Got up late and messed about on PC, paper interesting this morning. Read all about fergie and becks which I hadn't followed during this week. Big night on Corrie tomorrow Tricky Dickie confesses all, at 7.30 there is a documentary on BBC1 about weight loss surgery. Have to record that somehow.Off to see Nanny Banks in Hospital report back later.

Saturday morning part one

York summary.
Most participative holiday I have had for ever. Got right involved and walked for ages (with crutch). Feeling stiff and sore now though. Cottage was great though the cold tap in the kitchen got stuck in the on position, and I had to turn the water on and off at the mains. York is a beautiful city and the area around is great, recommend it to anyone who hasn't been. Though I did suffer tweaks of nausea I didn't barf in anger. I had solid food and tried somethings...toasted teacake with butter, blueberry muffin, covent garden chicken soup,fruit strawberry,kiwi and melon. Spag bol, tagliatelle with ham and mushroom. Sorry it seems the gastroscopy eas a major success. I guess I am feeling now how most people feel 4 weeks post op. By then the majority stop barfing, trust me be to be in the 99th percentile of a normal distribution. Did I mention my statistics O level grade C. Thats the first time I have ever used it.
The holiday did make me realise how impaired my mobility had been, and how much it has improved. Also how much Jean and Ally have had to put up with and miss out on. No more of that I'm in and up for it all now. We got back at lunchtime as Ally had an appointment at the orthodontist, who proposes quite a bit of work. Whilst it will be traumatic, I am sure it will be worth it in the long run. Got back to hundreds of emails, most of it junk, but some good stuff and the wlsinfo is generating traffic.
Visited by Colin, Hannah and Jenny and spouted about how great the holiday was. Then off to town to see D off. He is in the TA and has been called up for the gulf. He seems fairly relaxed about it all, but it made me and several other people shiver. Watching all the crap on the telly about it is one thing but when its people that you know, going off to fight it gets very scary and real. I am well against the war, Bush is a lunatic and Blair is backed into a corner with him, and people like my mate will be lost as a consequence - a mixed bag of feeling. It was a good turnout, alot of old friends there, some very pleased to see me, a few people who didnt recognise me. One girl who was at school with Jean was really interested and made up I had had the op. I sat with Paul, who recently left my employ for a better job. He is a guardian reading left winger like my self (honest) I was relieved he felt the same stuff as me . Mad war, out to support our mate, and we'll have a party when he comes back, and I'll feel as uncomfortable as I did when the Falklands boys returned way back when. My daughter tells me Blue are bringing out an anti war song, haven't we got enough good ones already? MAybe we should send Blue in, that would force saddam into submission, and a lot more environmentally friendly than war.
I am still on the labour party email list despite ripping up my card over student fees at university, they sound out a missive any time tony needs help. He has spoken to some exiled Iraqis and they told him its right. I aint convinced. The other debate last night was who to vote for at the next election - bit of a worry that.
Got home and did a bit of surfing, and website maintenance with the aid of my wlsinfo mate Mick a cockney geezer from swansea. Jane another wls info mate has done a couple of book reviews so that will need posting today, well in Jane. So today, gym for me, haircut and dancing for Ally, girls going swimmin, pick my mum up from hospital and england vPakistan on the telly. Squeeze in some web stuff as well, my computer feels neglected.

Friday night

Been too busy to blog today and too tired now. Will attempt to fully catch up tomorrow.

Post lunch nausea

four little bits of bread with the soup and i feel sick and full. Back to blogging to divert my attention and refocus the brain. Mum is feeling better was the report recieved this morning. Ruth and Paul have gone to New York, Happy birthday ruth and I hope they can find me a cheap pocket PC. if not I'll be buying one next week. dell have brought out a little one that looks the part only 270squid as well, that'll do me. York is a lovely city and lots of street entertainers etc, very touristy but hey I like that. Had a look at wlsinfo the website I have set up and 12 members now registered and good amount of traffic flowing. Read a book on Internet cafes before my dinner, seems they have them everywhere now. Anyway going to get off now and look at the York archy trust thing and chat to my mate mick on msnmessenger

Thursday in york

Back in the cybercafe, 4 hours access for a tenner and usuable in 10 minute blocks, free cup of coffee. So i am made up. What a great time we are having I am walking like a star, and striding out everywhere. Girls are off shopping again after ally relctantly agreed to a day in the country yesterday. we had a bit of a drive and ended up in helmsley, then went to a deserted abbey I'll have to look up the spelling http://www.theheritagetrail.co.uk/abbeys/rievaulx_abbey.htm cant seem to make this into a hyperlink but it was great. Rievaulx abbey set in this valley at the edge of the north york moors. It was quite a moving place, very history. Once them two shoppers have had their retail therapy I am going to try to persuade em to go yorkshire archaeological trust. They will love that going to have some soup now back later

Gonna break for lunch now

Time for a break i wonder how much this has cost.

Cybercaff in York

What a place, Apple Macs. filter coffee, soup, and funky music. My first cybercafe experience phenomenal!! The girls have gone off shopping, and they are going somewhere nice for lunch without me, so they can eat better. I'll have soup in here.
The holiday has started fine, we left yesterday at 11ish and landed at M&S warrington, to stock up on emergency provisions. Eat lunch in the revive cafe, very nice I had my first carrot and coriander soup and bread. I was made up. Chugged along the motorway, stopped at services and had a large americano with sugar in. Got to flaxton, a pretty village and had to pick the keys up. Cottage (bungalow) on its own in the middle of nowhere, no houses for about half a mile. Saw a wild rabbit in the garden, so like saddos we stood mouths agape. In the visitors book someone wrote they saw a badger in the garden. Then this morning there were two pheasant/grouse type creatures in the main field. Its like a BBC2 documentary.
We went to tesco yesterday evening for petrol and coal and logs. made up with my increased mobility. Then back home for real fire and watching telly. Monday is not bad especially for soaps.
Great to stay in a place and not get worried about being stuck in bath or breaking chairs. Feel fantastic, OK I know I am a little manic but that beats depressed any day of the week. Rang home mum feeling better she's been to the docs and got antibiotics, and Nanny Banks is getting released today.
I am gonna write some postcards and just chill. Then a bit of shopping and off to pics tonight to see the Two Towers. Have to call at some shops and get a paper as well.

Monday morning

exciement mounts holiday draws near. Lobster and prawn all stayed in the appropriate place, and feeling tops. Printed out some photos of Olive the housekeeper in the MAtchworks, sent em in by post so Gail when Olive recieves them please explain. I also realised I have lost the gift of handwriting, so she wont be able to read the scrawled note. The weight loss world is getting interesting. My new chum Mick has been banned from a discussion board, I may well walk out in a display of solidarity.
All go here, rarin for the off. Will attempt to find a cyber cafe in York and update later in the week

Sunday evening

Last nights parties - a game of two halves, first over to Irby on the Wirral For Simons 40th. Me driving the big red bus, Paul navigating and Ruth and Jean chillin in the back. Found it ok, funny place locked door, buzz for access only two guys on security. Women only allowed in the Lounge. Very cheap drinks though and the reception area is plastered with minor celebs publicity shots, very phoenix nights. No talking when artistes are on sign.Met David and Jill there him looking strangely young (40 next year I believe). Nuts in bowls on tables, I felt like a peanut, or rather a big bag of peanuts. The drinks was a funny thing I aint seen for years. The spirits came in miniature bottles which hold 2.5 measures. Even those who remember me in full on drinking mode will vouch that these are a surefire way to end up bevvied very quickly. Responsible for many lost nights in the Winwick Hospital social club where I spent my formative years. Angie, Si's wife showed her extensive blog knowledge by asking how my Nanny Banks is. SI's mum and dad where there too, Simon and his dad are living proof of genetics, more like clones than anything (Apologies if I just upset anyone, I meant it in a nice way). Buffet looked good, and met Gibbo and his wife, Gibbo used to be in the boys brigade with me and Si. I haven't seen him since I got married, you've put on wieght he said.
Left there and bombed back to Sefon Park Conservative club, (Conservative in name only, any political affiliation died out years ago). Entered through the main door to see the singer crooning away, oh no Phoenix nights again. This was Marvin Maggots party aka John the youngest son of Hazel and Dave, fine old friends. Quite a few people who haven't seen me since the op so a few double takes and I was even ignored by two people who obviously didnt recognise me. Sat with Ruth ruth paul jean tommy phil and alan. They all got off fairly early but Jean and I stayed a while. Had a dance and a few glasses of redwine, and three bottles of water. nice buffet there too. I had some milk.
Got up late and went to see Nanny Banks in the Royal. She is sharing a room with three confused ladies and two other in full possession of faculties. The confused people were wandering round interfering looking physically sstrong. The people with their faculties were all frail.and mostly chairbound. Nanny was distressed, the confusion gets worse at night and she wants out. I went to have a chat to the ward sister about her. She is waiting for a doppler test, but they can do it as an outpatient, what about home they said, well the house is a death trap, she should be in residential care but wont go. She has reluctantly agreed to stay till tomoorow and see a doc, and increasse her care package to include an evening visit. Mum looked iller than Nanny and we should have too kNanny home and left mum in her place.
Picked my car up on way home and called at new bookstore in Speke, cant remember the name? Big place very impressed, and a starbucks in there too, got some american computer magazines, kewl. Lobster and prawn crepes for tea yum yum.

Saturday Afternoon

Bright and cheerful today, the weather and me too. Just got back from the gym lost nearly seven pound since Monday. Thats 11stone 2 lost, I feel good. Contacted by tina from Leeds who runs a support group in one of the hospitals there, she's a nurse and hoping to do some collaborative work. Sounds good. Cardiovascular exercise up to thirty three minutes.
LAst night visited by Jenny and her dad Phil gave Jenny a lift back to the station after the funeral, Jean went the crem, but I was avoiding it so stayed at work. On the way to work I saw my good friend Cozzie he's the cook at the bridge chapel. Topman to boot.
Spoke to Mickey Browne today, booking tickets for yes and Jools Holland at the summer pops. Should be good.

Friday morning

Only a little barf last night no serious side effects and eating ok this morning. I am going into work just so I can say I have been there every day this week. Which feels a bit normal, have to go the gym after that so a few hours onl. Discovered on the way home last night I can eat bananas. Might stop this 3 oclock dip I have beeen experiencing.

Thursday night

Had a call from Mick WLS friend who has lost eight stone. Set off for work meeting with auditor decent guy with ok sense of humour. Lunched then off to Hammy Productive time with Caroline and Fran.
Got home had mince and pasta, barfed a bit - we don't like that. Watched ER on E4 chatted to other WLSers on bgab

Thursday am

Work went wellish, got a bit tired towards the end, there seems such a lot to do and my energy reserves seem so low. Had a talk with Heather from days in mental health a long time ago. I immersed myself fully in the mental health experience, so much so I got severe depression, which still lingers in the background. I think I am a better person/manager for the experience. It has certainly helped to recognise and acknowledge when other bods are suffering. Anyone reading this who thinks it contains coded messages for them, should know me better. I don't do coded messages I only straight up front stuff. And YOU are probabaly paranoid, I certainly am. Didn't make the gym decided I could n't do everything so went home and went to bed. (After a dose of health giving buildup). Felt better on waking then bugged round getting ready for the quiz. We came second - we beat our main rivals (the team I usually play for), and that is what counts. After dropping everyone off I went to Tesco at ten past 12, how sad is that. I had to buy some cereal, the breakfast situation had got dire here. Hence the strawberry yoghurt fiasco yesterday. Cornflakes on board I am heading for a meeting with an auditor at the matchworks, this morning then off to see Fran at Hamilton House later. Need to fit a gym visit and nutrition in along the way. Got my book from obesityhelp.com this morning, called making the journey togetherits a collection of patient experiences only cost 10 dollars P&P inc. Right onward and upward.

Wednesday still on the up

Got to the conference for 10ish felt a bit ropey but soon perked up. Good atmosphere at the conference, good speakers, it taught me quite a lot about making health information accessible for people with impairments. Talk about accessible conferences they had a mike wired up to a loop system, two signers, two lip speakers and a guy transposing everything saud and projecting it on to a really easy to read screen. Some points about written info which should be obvious but aren't. They had a guy from Surrey who talked about accessibility - and how jargon is crap. He used real examples to illustrate. Laurence and Steve gave good value for money, met Lily Hopkins again she used to give me a hard time when she was chair of the Community Health Council. She is now chair of North Liverpool Primary Care Trust - doesnt fit into the usual stereotype of white, middle class, retired, or political appointee that abounds in the non-exec role(though it is getting better). Had a good day(till three) saw Gail and Sandra from South, Anita from Mosaic and quite a few people who clearly knew me but I wasn't sure who they were. Visited in the evening by Dave and Hazel, had a raucous good laugh. Their youngest (who I think is about 8) is 21 on Saturday. So we'll be busy, Simon (of bypass and Angie fame) is having a party same night. So over to Irby (over the water) and then back to the Con club for a stay behind. Friday is Mabels funeral, a lady who was 90+ from our old church. Don't know if I'll be going. Today then, got up late need to breakfast though the choices seem limited - I am a bit sick of tinned pears. Off to a meeting with Martin at 11.30 a GP in Garston. Need to go into work and get a gym visit in as well. Tonight our quiz team is making its first visit to Winwick. Jean, Ruth, Colin Paul and me who had regular outings pre-op at the cricket club are looking for a new gig. We are called the F&T's a well balanced team (or we used to be until I lost my memory). The girls are good at popular culture, films, Paul is a scientist, Colin is a sports and history bod. I just remember some daft things - or used to we'll see. My knowledge of seventies music and TV is sad in the extreme. Looking forward to it.

Tuesday am

Up early feeling good, ingesting a tinned pear now for breakfast, feeling full better stop. Due at a conference today at Anfield organised by Laurence Clark a good geezer who is a mate of mine. Said I wouldn't make all day but would make a guest slot at some time. Thats how it is, I hate being unreliable but - its all on the day. I felt great 5 mins ago but that pear is starting to fight back. Also worried about the sloppy diet provision at Anfield might have to nip out anf find a soup kitchen. Generally the rule is no work before 10.30 -11 but hell that could change, I am still on the up. Posted something for a friend on GP-UK and had a really nice message of personal support from the list owner. Generally on the up still.

Monday evening

Who would have thought things could get better. Discovered one of our neighboursis doing drop off pick up ironing service. 20 items for a tenner. Yahoo good on ya lets have some of that -he is coming at 6.15 to pick up the first load. More feedback later. Wandered into work and felt strangely good. Busy on the email front lot of stuff to clear. Then its off to the gym and and then pick Ally and the girls up. Heinz ravioli in a tin tonight. Yahoo - solidish food. Part two of Second coming tonight at nine.Things are looking up

Monday Morning

Up fairly effortlessly before 8 - still feeling good. Whats going on, like the eternal pessimist I keep waiting for thegood weather to break instead of enjoying the warm spell. Yesterday was good. Mooched about and went tosee Nanny Banks in hospital. She is on ward 2X at the Royal a ward I used to work on. None of the family seem to have a clue what's going on with her, I offered to speak to the staff but this was declined - I aint sure why. The hoped for comedy seam did not materialise, mainly as thepresence of mother grandmother and other people leads to multiple conversations all occurring simultaneously. Headache on return. Upgraded TV package to Skysports for the duration of the cricket world cup. Watched the end of the W.Indies v South Africa game - great to see the W.Indies win. Upgrading TV resulted in loss of broadband service so I was on the phone for an hour around midnight. Watched a program called the second coming starring Christopher Ecclestone, weird but strangely watchable.

Sunday morning

Two good days in a row - whats going on. I was first up this morning and took the girls driks in bed? Yesterday visited by Archie and Ali Lee. what a good time that child is great, he is only 13 months but we get on well, same level as me Jean says. Went to the local Somerfield and stocked up on emergency goods pending Tesco home delivery this pm. Made some chicken stock which I will turn into soup for today, and freeze some to take to work. Started to watch west wing last night but hadn't seen it before, so switched it off then watched CSI:Miami which was ok till the fellers face blew off and Ally said turn it off. So we resorted to a Tivo'd version of NYPD blue and then the DVD of the Old Grey Whistle test I got for my birthday. Did a lot of work on The new weight loss support site.

Saturday am

After the rant and scope I felt better. Yesterday was one good day, plenty to eat still sloppy but feeling good. Top workout at gym. But high in mood if anything relief at getting out of hospital with a clean bill of health was enormous. Ally still coughing and Jean sounds terrible, yesterday I was not the sickest person in the house. Getting a buzz from www.wlsinfo.org.uk site, getting very positive vibes. Also found another support site www.bgab.co.uk Big girls are best - if they are why are they talking about weight loss surgery?? I wrote an email to the Webmistress, apologising coz I thought we had setup the first UK site. She was really sound about it and there is room for plenty more support. On the family note Nanny Banks still in the Royal, but this makes mum feel better as she knows she is looking after her. I am going to visit her tomorrow so hoping to strike a rich comedy seam.

Friday Morning

Oh yesterday - another bad day. Started before 7am - not good but at least being nil bymouth I had no worries about getting breakfast in. Doctor said I needed to be there between 7.30 and 8am . So Jean called a taxi at 7.30 and we veritably flew to Aintree, 10 quid for the ride but no worries. Arrived cheerfully at the ward and allocated a bed in room 4. Pleased to see both Wigan and Gallman already in situ, Wiganman got into the bed at 6pm last night. Asked some questions by really nice nurse all the usual about makeup, crowns and false limbs. Tried to refrain from making quips that she had heard a thousand times, but couldn't resist and got her with two she said she hadnt heard before and she appeared to be amused. Interupted by Specialist Registrar, with two students in tow. This is Mr Clare - He had a Vertical banded gastroplasty in september and has now started to put on weight, ER NO I INTERRUPTED, I HAD A ROUX EN Y AND HAVE BEEN BARFFING SINCE, AND I HAVE LOST 10 ST 9LBS AND GAINED LESS THAN A KILO IN THE LAST WEEK. As soon as the words uttered from these innocent lips I knew I had made a grave error.Contradicting him in front of med students was a major war crime. He promised to draw them a diagram later (probably of the M25 I thought but somehow managed to restrain from saying it), I was second on the list so be expecting about 10am. Cool I thought, I had deliberately travelled light one carrier bag containing only a guardian couple of mags and a book about weight loss. Still the mental clock told me I could be home about 2pm worst case scenario - not bad. Met George in next bad what you in for I asked, "removal of pollack from up my arse," side effect from cancer a few years ago. Unlikely that a pelagic fish was resting there I suggested "polyp," thats the word he said. Turns out 88 year old George was going to be the saviour of my stay, his acute Liverpool wit was in top form, and his stories from the war were crackers. I spoke to him for over an hour, he was at Dunkirk in WW2 and ended up in bomb disposal. A great bloke, riddled with cancer but cracking funnies and flirting with the nurses like a good un. On the other side was a man who seemed to have a pair of pigs trotters grafted on to his feet, didnt look good and well sore I thought. Turns out he was to be "double bunion man." 9.30 approached time to strip off and don my ill fitting theatre gown. Despite the rapid weight loss there was still a six inch shortfall at the back. Having read about this on some weight loss site I asked for another gown and wore that back to front. Dignity preserved I went ( wearing two gowns and approved pure cotton boxers) for my last pee. Came back to my chair and duly went into hyperpanic mode.
Now let me explain, I was frightened of the bypass op, but this was nowt I have had two gastroscopies in the past and seen several inflicted on people over the years. Hailed as a miracle of diagnostics, I was still not keen. Swalling that ominous black looking thing while being told to relax was not for me, and have I mentioned the gag reflex, put your fingers down your throat and gag, mine is really good, especially trained up after all this vomitting. Warning bells were starting to clang, fight or flight, they call it. I sat there suffering for hours silently, looked at the clock and its twenty five to ten.Still the breakfast that a couple of lads had looked awful and I wasnt bothered I read the Guardian cover to cover all three sections. Looked at clock twenty to ten, Decided to have some sport, wigan and gall were both daily mail men (see yesterday) but I had todays newspaper. Would you like to see it, they took it in good stead, there was an article about Jamie bulgers killers suggesting they should never have gone down for it. I waited and waited and waited.........................................................................................................
Dinner time came too that looked ok, sandwiches soup and pud. 2pm I asked nice nurse what was going on, yup I was second on thelist but the Doc shouldnt have given you a time. Maybe the first case turned out complex, fair doos.
3 o'clock asked other nurse, I'll ring theatre she said complex case on the table running late fair doos.
Teatime spoke to Jean, I had gone to sit at the nurses station as the food was making me sick. I said after consultation come in at 8 and bring a bag for the night stay or take me home.
6 came and went - Exgall man returned from theatre, porter lady said I'll change the trolley bedding then I am taking you down . result, I had to be restrained for jumping on staright away.
Downhill push till theatre, thought this will be bad coming back. Got to waiting area - 8 hour wait had helped settle my anxiety. Clearly some cock up as they said you shouldnt be here yet - I looked for something to chain the trolley to - I aint going nowhere.
Mr K the surgeon turns up and apologises, explains the scope cleaner had broke this morning got it fixed this affy. So they rearranged the list and and put big case on first. Mr K had told someone to ring the wards of me and the other guy who seemed to be having a similar thing done, to say it would be after 6 and we could drink till 12. Message never got through, was I fed up. While I was able to sit at the nurses station, the staff had looked at the hospital intranet, to see in real time the menu in the staff canteen, they can see where prescriptions are up to in pharmacy why arent the theatre lists on line?????????? With patents name procedure and status - pending - in progress, on ward totally bewildered etc. You cannot blame the Docs and nurses clearly someone needs to manage this it was a mess.
The two nurses who waited with me in theatre were the best great at conversing and relaxing me turns out they were D grades (lowest qualified in theatre), promote them immediatly they could see all the problems. They had the solutions but nobody seemed to ask them. The clinical care was faultless, as ever. I told Mr K I was terrified and wanted a big slug of some drug. We had a chat about the website and to be honest I was so strung out I cant remember much. Other man went first i spoke to nurse which reassured me (or at least diverted me).
Wheeled in, bg slug of drug and spray into back of throat, spray tastes of rotten bananas, says Mr K and something else, oh and petrol says he's right, another flambe dessert idea.
Wake up in recovery, had a stretch I think no ulcers, good see him soon. Can stay or go home. Up to me (and Jean I thought) Saw Dr Shearer the anaesthetist from bypass I think but could have been a near death experience - that was good stuff. Run back up hill to ward, cant have been easy. Straight to chair and got dressed, still drunk. Need a pee and a drink before you can go said nurses. Fair doos. Drink, water milk, pee, Jean arrives walk round the ward. DO you think I am fit love? Yes Can I go nurse? I am gone fall asleep in the car, pick Ally up from somwhere watch ER??? fall asleep go to bed wake up with sore throat.
Overall feeling relief - I survived the system Ken 2 Aintree 0.

Thursday

Bad day - not sure what to write

Wednesday later

Day started off bad - blizzard conditions and early rise. Got to Aintree 10 mins late. Reported to admissions room, and handed in my slip of paper. Which consisted of several questions, the answers to which were all contained in the letter they sent with said admission slip. What was this then - a literacy test. The lady took it off me and checked the details all without a word. She then gave me garbled directions to ward 61, to be fair the admissions office was in crisis, the printer had just gone down (been unplugged) and the kettle was broke. Pleased with the return of the printer to working status she now gave me a new admission slip (3 copies of same info). There was a desk labelled PALS in the reception, where I would have commented but I was Billy-no-mates. Trekked to ward 61, with heavy bag. Rabbit warren of a place full of very ill looking people (last legs type stuff). The nurses were in some sort of meeting, all sat round drinking tea, they told me to go and wait in the dayroom.The description and directions were poor, it was actually a cupboard, with an artificial plant and several chairs. There was a nice couple who had arrived half an hour early (he waiting for gall bladder out). We were then joined by a couple from Wigan, who had clearly suffered at the hands of Wigan Hospitals inc. He had been told that he had inoperable cancer of the common bile duct (pancreas type area). A chance comment had led to him being referred to Aintree where it was now operable. We had since been joined by a fourth patient. He had worse cancer than the first guy and he used to be a docker. There then followed a rapid exchange of which of their offal was being removed, each upping the other one in every one. Mr Docker won when he reported his wife had died from cancer last year. Neither of them were impressed with plain old ordinary gall bladder chap so I was rather nervous when they asked what I was in for. I was tempted just to show my scar and claim full offal removal, but I came clean and no one was impressed. We had a great discussion for about two hours covering all subjects. Punctuated by 2 trays of tea. About 11.30 Sister came to inform us there were no beds, but she was working on it. To be fair we had a good old natter and the time flew. Subjects included War, asylum seekers, pubs, Michael Jackson. Docker didn't take a daily paper, wigan and gallman were daily mail readers, kept my pinko guardian in my bag.
Another sister appeared and claimed gall man and me. We were off to ward one. I became alarmed at the signs reading department of reproductive medicine, gynae assessment and "what are polycystic ovaries." Clearly that was the first stage when entered ENT land, people with strange nose bandages, at the end of the corridor was our destination - odds and sods quick turnaround. Take a seat in the dayroom, cupboard with window and telly, gall man was whisked off. We were soon joined by Wigan man and lunch. There were about seven other people clearly waiting for beds. Lunch was some ice cream after a lengthy discussion about diets with the hostess. Whisked off by sister to clerk me in. Need to see a doc she said, it looks busy I said I don't mind doing what needs doing then sleeping at home. She said all of you are doing that anyway. Back to day room were everyone was reading the daily mail, its getting worse. Doctor appears explains what I was having done quite well and got me to sign the form. Can I go now sister? No you need to have blood taken . Fair enuff, join queue of seven. Can I go now sister, no you need to see junior doc. And that will be when - an hour or so...ok so off to Sefton suite where I had the op to see the staff. And a guy waiting for the op that day - he was nervous, I had a good natter with him I hope it was useful. Staff dead impressed with weight loss. Ward one rang to say I was needed back to see doc. Arrived back saw doc an hour later. Can I go now sister - no you need ECG. Surely this could be done better, one of the women waiting was ready to freak out - if this was France there would be riots she said. Cant we get primary and secondary care sorted better to waste less of my time? Called in to see B bypass patient on Sefton suite 1 week post op and going home tomorrow, had a good natter and hope it helped her - certainly helped me. Picked up by Jean and Ally. Back home feeling goosed and a bit like things were so bad in the NHS..

Wednesday teatime

GRRRRR back at home, wasted day at Aintree no beds, go back tomorrow at 7.30. Bit frustrated and narked at the moment. Will tell more later.

Wednesday

Hit the matchworks yesterday, all went well came home and went to bed.Cars nearly sorted. Had some wine to counteract extreme nerves at thought of entering hospital system. Woke extremely early and ready to go by 8.15. Got weighed at the gym and I have put on a kilo, no probs as I have been stuffing things in like a pig. The world has a light dusting of white this am and all set for admission. Ally is geared up to blog tonight for me. See you soon

Tuesday 10am

Got to sleep after 4, woke at 9.45, now medicating. ingesting calories and abluting and putting on a brave face before hitting the Matchworks.

Tuesday in the wee small hours

Slept fitfully till lunchtime disturbed by Ally and Jean, both sent home of of URTI. Idled on the computer tried to work but felt rough. Watch out for the diarrhoea the dietitian said, you know this milky diet. Well it arrived today, kick a man when he is down or what. Flapping about going in to hospital big time. Had to drive to Royal Hospital to pick mum up, Nanny Banks has been admitted, well left on a trolley with suspected DVT and cellulitis. I had to drive Jeans car. People who know me in person will know I drive a bariatric car. A ford Galaxy people carrier. Jean drives a fiesta their dinkiest of cars, except for the KA. I felt like a jumbo jet pilot in a single seat propellor aircraft, and so close to the ground. All the rest of the traffic was big and scary especially the people carriers. Nanny is settled(on her trolley for a change), mum is settled, someone else is looking after Nanny.The girls sound rough, I am hovering near the toilet wondering which end of me will rebel first. Feeling weak.... Oh and going to work tomorrow at 10am alledgedly. Start the meeting without me I'll be in when I come round. I have to go though and doing some interviews with Sam, Didn't want to miss the team meeting though. Feel guilty after being so well for the party, and worried about what will go on in hospital. Funny how problems seem bigger in the wee small hours.

Monday am

Got up at an unearthly hour to drop car off at bodyshop. Feel nearly dead - going back to bed. May post more later, if I survive.

Sunday

Tired went out for lunch (soup and ice cream) did a bit of work on wlsinfo website. Not up for much.

Saturday Night

Legs and back still stiff from dancing. Got some great presents, and went off to Speke retail park to spend vouchers. Got DVD's of The Old Grey Whistle test and a documentary about Hadfield - home tothe league of gentlemen. Some books and a cracking guide to Frontpage 2002. Just playing with it now, tired early night for us all I think

Saturday Morning - Happy new year

A very good night last night - started off jittery if people would turn up but got better. I was more relaxed than ever. The red wine helped, I was even caught dancing (an activity which in previous years I really enjoyed). Can't hardly walk this morning though. Few no shows (but there always is), some late arrivals from Sefton/Hammy house who had been out on the pop in town. Bar still serving at 2 only diehards left then though. Good representation from the matchworks, Maghull, Hammy House, and even some faces from Mental Health days. Good representation from Jeans side of the family and Grandma looked like she had a good time. Bob Clare my cousin who looks more like my dad than I do and his wiife June made an appearance. The poor family support was probably down to my tardiness in organising/inviting people. Still never mind, all present seemed to have a good time, the disco was considerably better than last year and there were plenty up to dance. I took some photos and I'll post them somewhere later. Bit tired and stiff this morning.