Saturday Morning

After that delicious tea it was off to Grandmas for the usual Friday night pilgrimage. Now 8.30 on a Friday after a busy week in work used to mean curry telly and a shed full of beer and wine. Last night I was meant to go to Ally Butts leaving party at 9.30, to be truthful I didn't have the energy to get a bath, never mind go out. So it was a grated cheese red wine and a chill out. I felt bad, tried to ring Sandra so I called let them know but she missed the call. Felt guilty but need energy, also need to spend time with family. Ally will understand anyway, I'll pop round to her house in the next week or two to apologise.
Another strange thing happened in the night - my legs, which were very chunky have changed. They look like bits of cotton, hanging from my shorts, Jean says I look very eric morcambe (only geezers of a certain age will understand the reference). I also have a hard lump clearly palpable at the top of my thigh. After extensive probing and confirmation from Jean we have agreed on a diagnosis - femur (which is apparently a bone) It is time to buy new shorts as these are 4 sizes too big. Lying in bed last night I discovered a lump in my chest, clearly palpable on the right hand side just below my xiphisternum. I was a bit worried, lipoma, sarcoma, ?? extensive fiddling reveals a matching patner on the left after, writing my will and wondering what to tell Ally I remember back to anatomy classes, they could be ribs, I suppose. Jean confirms my diagnosis in a flash. My only experience of ribs in the last 25 years has been either bacon ones or chinese style. I had forgotten I had any. To understand the crop of new words that appeared today look here Online Medical dictionary