31

I forgot to mention my back has been playing me up, since I went to the gym on Sunday. It got worse and this morning it went into spasm and I can hardly walk. I didn't use my stick over the holiday - wonder if thats whats caused it

31st - New years eve

Never liked it anyway, too much false sentimentality and fights. I once got wrestled to the floor by several coppers on New Years Eve - I was innocent honest. They were very nice when they realised it was a mistake. The plan has been the same for several years now Jeans mum, Ruth and Paul are coming round here - watch festive TV and eat a bit. I am saving myself for a prawn - whoopy doo. Visited by our old friend Gordon today, another one of my friends who'll be glad to see the back of 2002. He was on top form as we reminisced about the fun we had in mental health days.

30th

Major PC problems, Video card it turned out to be after much messing. Sound isn't working now???? Nuisance factor 10.
Visited by Simon and Angie, Simon of bypass(heart type) fame, a fellow "that's a big operation boy." All went well except we didnt have any Bacardi Breezers in for Angie, she told me not to mention it on the blog though. Simon looks well and invited us to his 40th birthday party in Irby club - sounds good.

29th

Dads birthday - he died five years ago but I still miss him. Raised a glass to him in the evening. Went to the gym and worked out, saw Roy a retired guy who I haven't see for about 2 months he was amazed with my appearance. Got weighed 156kilos thats 132lbs, 60kg lost or 9.43 stones in english money. I was worried the red wine would have stopped the weight loss. That's a stone since 17/12/2002. Made up.

27th and 28th

Didn't do much at all, played with my prezzies and became addicted to Civilisation III on the laptop. Jean had to work on the Friday but Ally and I slobbed out (same as most Christmases but I wasnt eating goodies). Things did stay down well though and I didn't barf either day.

Boxing Day

Visited by Ally, Paul and Archie, great to have a baby around to put you in the Christmas spirit. I might hire one for next year. We entertained at teatime so it we had a busy time tidying and prepping for tea. 10 guests and us three, I decided not to eat anything, so soup and milk only for me. Some redwine as well. I had left the bingo set in Culcheth so I had to download some software and print out cards. I used the program to generate the numbers on the laptop. It went down well, especially with the older set. Paul, Alan and Colin my brothers in law hid in the backroom - drinking I suspect. I had more redwine and some port. I think I was drunk by the end of the night but it doesn't take much.

Christmas Day Part 2

Got Marys house, Nanny, Nanna, Mary, John, Ann, Dave, Maria and Sue the dog where all in fine form. I had planned to hold a bingo session for the oldies but couldn't be bothered when it came down to it. We played pontoon - for prizes. Not the most stress free game I have ever organised - I am sure that when the blog is made into a film it will be a good scene. The deafness of the oldies, poor sight and general argumentative nature led to a riot. I was glad to get home and and catch the last of the eastenders that day. A cracking episode with a wedding and a death, done to the tune of stand by me sang by a gospel choir. I had some redwine whilst watching the telly.

Christmas Day

Woke early and rushed fresh orange juice and tablets down, which I regretted later. Went downstairs to open our prezzies and drink tea. Quickly barfed and felt rotten. Sort of spoilt the presents I think. Ally got loads and she did turn back into an excited youngster for few moments before becoming "Kevin" again. I went back to bed and slept a bit longer. Woke a couple of hours later and rushed out to Ruth and Pauls. They had prepared an excellent lunch (as always) 12 for dinner and Billy Bernadette and Matthew for drinks. I think food mourning hit me before I got in the house - it smelt like the whole world was roasting potatoes. The stuffing looked divine and Jenny our neice had made some cranbrry sauces as part of her food tech A level course. I put some mash carrotts and stuffiing on a small plate. To be truthful I shouldn't have eaten anything I was still nauseous. I hung around for a bit and barfed in the living room. Felt miserable as sin as I thought I was ruining it for everyone else. Went back in after the main course and sat sipping water. Jean and Ally had made a Yule log for alternative non Christmas pudding eaters (Me and Ally). About 4 we set off for my sisters house in Culcheth (30 minutes drive away) and part 2.

Christmas Eve

Jean had to work today, Colin took Hannah out for her birthday lunch and Ally joined em. I was off to Franks for a a dose of pre Christmas Therapy(Barber not Doctor). Frank always makes me feel better, even Peter his miniscule assistant commented on the change in my appearance. Took Frank a bottle of white wine, my traditional gift to him. Went to the gym afterwards - halfway through my workout I realised I had to back for three, bombed home in time to catch Ruth and give her the pressies. Ruth Jean and their Mum traditionally visit Auntie Margies on Christmas Eve, She was the lady who died last week. Ally saw some of Miracle on 34th Street before she went out and realised that was all she needed to make her feel Christmassy.The nightime was about wrapping pressies - and worrying that I hadn't got Jean enough.

Nearly a week since last I blogged

I've been too busy what with Christmas and all that I'll try and offer a retrospective view of what happened. I have just been to the gym and been weighed - lost a stone since 17/12. Total weight loss now 9.5 stone. Absolutely made up.

Monday

Dropped Ally off at Hannahs went to Matchworks for the Christmas finger buffet. Very pleasant and saw several people I havent seen for a while. Forgot to get a haircut but what the hell - I'll try tomorrow.

Sunday

Well slept in, felt tired barfed after Brekkie, felt worse went back to sleep. Walked to the shops and back again Spoke to Ali Lee, feeling a bit better. Trying to get things in focus and keep on top of them.

Sunday night what happened to the last few days??

The last week has not been good - lots of negative feelings, food and christmas seem linked to me - probably washed down with ample beverages as well. Its been getting me down. though I have changed I haven't got my head round this yet. Being the size I was I played a role round mein host and bon viveur. Believe me we did a mean christmas dinner here. Its all the trimmings I want, stuffings (at least 4 types), sausages bacon, the ordinary stuff was good too. Honey glazed parsnips, my roasties are mean, and I can't mention the gravy. Plus the canapes, aperitifs, wines, liquers, port and numerous chocolates. Whilst I am made up at losing this weight I miss all that. Also I dont think me eating tiny amounts then wretching and barfing adds much to the Christmas experience. So thats where I am at up, and down sums it up well. Still trying to get on and I am convinvced that the operation was a) right for me and b) the right thing to do and c) a success. I'll try and pick over the last few days see what I've done.
Wednesday night went to Winwick Club - we won the quiz Mike, Margaret, Ian and Phil and I. I stayed out late and enjoyed myself.
Thursday - Was the Curry Club night out - I joined them for a drink in the dispensary then taxied up to Childwall to meet the staff from Taggart who had a good night out at Owens restaurant. I must confess to not being sober.
Friday Jean was off, Ally finished at noon. Sam came round to talk about work. I was energised by her enthusiasm and all she and the team have achieved. I felt like going back and starting work that afternoon. I cried off the Matchworks night out, I was going to go for a drink but didnt feel up to meeting so many people.
Saturday - slow day and started to get things together for Christmas found a good site Matt Granger A young Aussie lad (aged 21) who weighed more than me and has certainly made a transformation.

Wednesday Night

Didnt feel any better - couldnt sleep due to belly ache and dyspepsia. Feeling down and miserable, just had a post from the surgery support group telling me post op depression is common. Planned to go to work but didn't make it. Jean went to Margies funeral today. Got weighed at the gym 8st 6lb lost.

Tuesday Morning

Monday was a bad day, I hardly slept on Sunday night and spent most of yesterday dozing. Guts still aren't 100% this morning. Need to get my act together and head for the gym. DVD player broke so I need to go and buy a new one. Feeling pretty fed up today, constant dyspepsia and difficult to motivate.
More blogging later if I feel better.

Sunday night

Good time with Archie, Tesco delivery straightforward. Got on with coming - chicken with sweet and sour sauce and Murghi Rasedar - a chicken curry adapted from Madhaur Jaffrey 20 years ago. All went down well today, tidying the house more than the last three months was tough but it was needed before christmas. I had some curry juice and drank it as soup. Egg mayo sarney for tea, with crusts - so that came back to see me. DVD player playing up so not good news. Heard from Marta one of my American friends who continues to make progress.

Saturday morning

Busy day yesterday went to see Val to discuss my staged return to work, it was exciting and felt as good as starting a new job. There was a couple of projects with my name against them and I'll tell more when they are firmed up. I had lunch at the matchworks and then headed to Hammy House to see Fran for 2. We discussed primary care for about an hour and it almost felt like things were getting like work again. I picked my mother up from my Nans at 5.30 and took her home. Jean was off out for another Christmas party at Anfield football ground. As usual for a large Christmas night out the food was poor and the service worse.Ally and I dossed around the house doing our own things. I recovered some data off a floppy that had been reformatted (aren't I clever).
Saturday early on saw our annual pilgrimage to williams garden centre for a Christmas tree. Jean was dissapointed that she only managed to spend 56 quid despite her best efforts. I went to the gym after that where I was made up to complete 30 minutes cardiovascular training for the first time. Ali Lee is brinnging round Archie for us to mind and our Ally is off to a party. We have decided to do the christmas tree tomorrow as we are providing lunch tomorrow so I'll be busy cooking this pm. Tesco home delivery is cominglate they have already rang to apologise

Friday 13th

Anyone superstitious - no me neither. Yesterday was busy. I got to Tesco before 9 I wanted to buy Frank a christmas gift, champagne seemed appropriate. The wine aisle is a strange place at that time of the morning. One poor guy had two bottles of table wine and a Daily Star, £4.35. He wrapped the wine up in the paper, but I ended up behind him in the checkout. The front of the surgery is being altered and the path was all dug up, had to enter through the old front door. Frank was on top form, he seemed pleased with my progress and said I can go back to work anytime now, just negotiate the terms with my boss Val. Popped in to see mum and her dog on the way home. I had gone in my gym clothes with shorts underneath my long sweat pants. Twice these shorts ended up at my knees, so I returned home and donned some of my alternative boxer shorts and worked out with long trousers on. Although my dignity was preserved at all times the feeling of your shorts heading south is disconcerting to say the least. I had a good workout with 6 minutes extra cardiovascular work. I am aiming for 30 mins total by the end of January. Today I did 24.
I met Stella and Ann for lunch in the gym restaurant - I had liquidised wintervegetable soup, not sure what was in it though. Jean went out for an Indian and a few drinks with people from work. I was jealous, I really miss Indian food.

Thursday morning

After running the girls around yesterday I went to the post office and stopped in at Childwall Park Avenue. A full house there - Chris, Karen, Veronica, Scott, Paul, Jane, Evelyn and Sam. I felt a bit last popping in for a cup of tea but I also think exposing myself to work is good.( As opposed to at church). Jean got home late afternoon and she was exhausted so Ally and I went shopping whilst she caught some zeds. I almost enjoyed it. Some new clothes were delivered and I had to put them on. 8 inches less in the waist ( and still a tad too big). We raised a glass to Margie in the evening, I started on beer but found even the none fizzy real ale difficult. I settled for a glass of red wine washed down by a liberal amount of water.I also had my first sandwich - I don't seem to find bread a problem apart from the 20 minutes immediatly after ingestion when I burp and threaten to barf but hang on to the nutrients. Busy times today, Frank the GP at 9.30, gym and then meeting Stella and Ann for lunch at the gym restaurant. All go or what?

Thursday AM

I didn't blog at all yesterday. Jeans auntie Margie died just after noon. I was busy looking for my wife and driving her and her sister to the house.

Tuesday Morning

Went to see Veronica at CPA yesterday afternoon. Met Chris the new health visitor and Shirley the district nurse. Veronica has achieved loads in her project and it was good to see something I was involved in doing so well. I had forgotten how complex the work environment was and after an hour my head was spinning. Still it helped ease me back in and start to get a handle on things. I was a bit ill after and it stopped me going out, so I spent the rest of the night half dozing on the couch. Dead Ringers (BBC2) was loads better on the radio - it should have stayed there.
Tuesday means gym, in a radical change with tradition I am going to go after lunch, and then pick Ally and the girls up. Christmas presents are starting to arrive, I have become quite friendly with the Omega Securicor delivery man. I think he used to be a weatherman - he always comments today it was ********Baltic mate.

Monday Morning

After church popped in to see mother and lunched at home tried out my new gruelling workout at the gym which I thoroughly enjoyed. Visited by sister Mary and then I went out for a walk to the shops - nothing to buy just for the hell of it. Sick after tea, put down to a piece of badly chewed leek, which I still deny eating. Woke up this morning with the effects of my new exercises, the lat pull down and vertical row making my back ache.

Brian Rix

I made it to church - it was good, the speaker Bill Bygroves was excellent, the congregation seemed young and vibrant, and I recognised a few people in there as well. All was fine till after it finished and on leaving for a cup of tea, my kecks fell down. Not just slipped off the top of my bum or dangled at my knees, but all the way down. I was struck by the whiteness of my legs and the blackness of my socks. I demonstrated the new agility by dropping to my knees and recovering them all without breathing, time was going sloooow at this point. I wonder how many people noticed, and if I'll be allowed in again next week. Went for a cup of tea and regained my nerves, exited slowly with hands in pocket.

Sunday Morning

Still ain't been sick for ages.Ali and Archie visited yesterday. What a good time we had, playing with an 11 month old fills me with joy., though he did have vegetable korma babyfood from a jar which filled me with envy. We went to the Christmas Fair at Ally's primary school. What a delight - though the tea was fine. Back to ours and Archie fell asleep on my knee - how peaceful. Workplaces should have small children strategically installed for calming purposes. Later I picked mum up from Nanny Banks' and did the shopping in Somerfield trip. They had run out of my favourite soup so off to Tesco as well .A quiet Saturday night in then as Jean was out visiting her Auntie.

Saturday Morning

Didn't have time yesterday, tut tut tut. Thursday went fine all food staying in its appointed place. I feel a strange sense of dietary contentment. Woke up late on Friday morning - and rushed to get in the matchworks for 12. A lot of folk were busy when I arrived, I spoke to Neil the singing podiatrist and PEC member (he has lost three stone and looks good). He wanted to know what Christingle was all about. After a bit of digging on Google I found this "The Christingle is a custom that originated in the Moravian Church in 1747 and seeks to symbolise and celebrate the creation of the earth, its seasons, and the life of Jesus Christ showing Him to be the world's true light." Which sounds to have a very pagan basis to me. I also found this link which suggests its more about making money for this charity. I also spoke to Lyn who is doing some work around the intranet for South Liverpool PCT. I met the usual crowd over lunch, Sandra. Ali B., Ali P rushing off to a meeting, Andrea and Sheila and a cast of thousands. I hung around for about two hours like a bad smell. Before being engaged in some work by Linda from Finance, felt useful for a bit.Gave lyn a lift back to Hammy house, mostly to talk about the intranet developments. Picked mummy up from Nanny Banks at 5.30, they were late, they had been for Nannys pension and scored on some cheap lager on the way back. So my mothers efforts to push the wheelchair were hampered by he 24 can tray of lager she was carrying. Nanny couldn't hold the beer as she had the stash of spirits on her knee. It was bitterly cold as well. Where Nanny lives is rough a row of proud Victorian terraces off Kensington - undoubtedly the roughest part of town. It is the litter and dog dirt capital of the universe as well. Drug dealing is a frequent sight as are burnt out cars. It has all recently been renovated but its still rough.Some helpful children had took the lid off the fire hydrant. Which in good citizen mode I decided to replace. I struggled to my knees tottered and then fell over - with a thud, accompanied by a scream from Nanny sitting helpless abandoned in the wheelchair. I hurt my hip knee and hands - good citizenship a bad thing it seems. Took mother home and went to mother in laws after tea. Not before eating smoked trout and bread, not exactly a sandwich but getting there.Ally went to a disco and I fell asleep downstairs.

Thursday 3pm - stop press

Just got back from the gym been weighed - lost 8 stone since the op 3 months and one day ago. I am going to have some fruit to celebrate.

Thursday

After all the optimism of Tuesday night I spent most of yesterday barfing. Not impressed. Didnt go out last night, Jeans auntie who has been ill took a turn for the worse. Jean took her mum to see her. Ally and I chiled out at home, tesco delivered the groceries. I note the home delivery now comes from the Old Swan store(formerly it was Allerton). They missed out five items - two of which were marked high value items on the invoice. Cointreau, Vodka and three bottles of shiraz on special offer. 40 quids worth. 20 minutes in a hold queue and they promised to ring the store and get back tous. Which they didnt, another 10 mins in the hold q, before putting down the phone in frustration. Save an hour by doing your shopping online and waste most of it on the phone trying to get it sorted. Theres the bell, ah Mr Tesco man. Holding a bottle of cointreau, he knows nothing about the vodka and the shiraz. "We have merged with with Allerton and its a bit of a mess, I shall be getting some sort of refund for this. Jean is off today and she has gone to Gemini park at Warrington for more Christmas shopping. Just been on the phone refund half the delivery charge and credit to my debit card account ......what a mess I think I'll try Sainsburys next

Wednesday Morning

The Crowne Plaza thing was strange, I arrived early and met Janine (I think) an acting practice manager from Birkenhead. We were then joined by Ron Bob and Paul from Hammy House. The lunch looked mediocre, sort of hot buffet, I surprised myself by assertively asking for liquidised soup. It was produced and drank about half of it. Had a good natter with Bob, poor Janine must have been bored solid.The presentation was very slick it was by a company called Cerner. Basically they want all the hospitals and GP's to have the same system and thus accomplish shared records with a stroke. Seemed very good but the culture change required overawed me. I also had nightmares about the size of GP's inboxes after the change. Even if we said yes tomorrow then it would take 33 months to implement so not an immediate worry. The interesting bit is how we get from here to there. The presentation team was international and the schmooze was flowing.
I got home around five - exhausted. We were in such a rush that Jean went to the chipshop, I had four chips and some chicken foo yung. They were delicious and I didn't barf. A quick visit to the mother in laws preceded my visit to the out patients at Aintree to see Mr Kerrigan.
I arrived at ten to eight (appt at 8), the 7.30 had DNA'd. Got weighed only about 300g difference from the gym scales. Got into see him at 8.15. Took him some pictures of me to put in my case notes and showed him my exercise routine (a printout not the real thing). He was made up with the weight loss and gym progress. We had a long talk about the vomiting and what to do. The fact it has subsided in the last four days has persuaded me to do nothing but he imparted some good information and practical advice. The opening from my new pouch is 1.4cm diameter, and we talked about food likely to block it, chicken, steak, broccoli. We also talked about when it gets blocked you get vomiting, which if frequent can lead to the "ring" becoming oedematous and you barfing even fluids. Which looking back has happened a couple of times he said the trick is to rest the pouch by taking fluids to maintain hydration, but resting the pouch. So 5mls of water every 10 minutes for 2 days followed by two days of clear fluids, then 2 days post op diet and something else giving your belly a rest for a week. (I'll have to check the details with Jean) . Seems practical but totally undesirable. The other options he offered were a barium swallow and gastroscopy to assess if the outlet had become too small, and leading to dilatation with a balloon if this was the case. Given the last four days we agreed that - I would continue as is, use the 5ml regime if things went bad again and contact his secretary Lorraine for fast tracking for swallow and scope. Seems a good plan to me and I always feel better with a plan and a way out if it goes wrong. He has read the blog a few times and said it opened his eyes to what a bad time people could have. He is still keen to press on with the website for patient information which I said I would help him develop.. He took blood for the usual things plus magnesium, zinc, fat soluble vitamins and will let me know if we need to to do anything. Blood was difficult to get and he ended up doing it. It turns out I used to work with his wife many moons ago when I was a charge nurse in Psychiatry at the Royal - small world. I left at 9.25 feeling heaps better - so did Jean, but Ally who was waiting outside was not best pleased.

Tuesday - big day

Off to a presentation at the Crowne Plaza hotel later. I'm a bit nervous really. Feels like the first serious thing I have done for months. Outpatients this evening, something seems to have clicked in the last few days and I feel heaps better, and am keeping down normal food. I think I need to see the dietitian though as I am sure I am not getting enough protein. How do I tell if I have excess hairloss - it's all headed south anyway. Got another e-mail from Patti my new transatlantic weight loss contact - she rises lots of interesting issues around the way people treat her different since she lost weight. I went to the gym yesterday and increased my regime still further - another minute on each cardiovascular exercise and more weight on the exercises. I feel good at the minute though my legs are stiff this morning from the new leg extension exercises.

Monday Morning

Cold wet windy and a definite stay in bed sort of morning so I got up early (by my standards). Must done some work on the people skills essay this morning. Eat real food last night and only barfed a bit.Still managed to miss the Christingle service. Tied to the house today waiting for man to pick up the chair. Monday means picking Ally and her friends up from school. Feeling the cold today I must go and put another layer on. Not much profound to say today. 940 visits to the blog last month - sounds ok to me.

Sunday night

More bad sleep and late rising so missed Church at Bridge Chapel. Planned to visit Christingle service at the Parish but prevented by barfing. Sleeping pills tonight I think. Started essay for college things are looking serious now. Reviewed Christmas present situation and decided there wasn't enough. So ordered more stuff from Amazon, Boots Thorntons and a couple of surprise things for Jean. This week ahead will be mostly about finishing college work. Gym visits and hospital visit will be included and attendance at a conference for a couple of hours on Tuesday Afternoon. Got an email from Patti from Pennsylvania, who has lost over 200lbs since July 2001 and stumbled across the blog.