It really did knock me for six I spent most of Wednesday doing nothing except feeling crap. Sick in my stomach and turning into the poor wretch that the letter described. Rumination is a good word, I have a gluttonous appetite for that too, throw self depreciation into the mix and happy days are here again. I fire off an email to Frank dispenser of wisdom and pills. Somrthing in my mind nags me that I should be seeing old prof M in September - it takes me three hours to shake out of the inertia and ring his secretary. I was right. I had an appointment at 2.30 trouble is its 4pm - Shit I hate DNA's (do not attends) big waste of time. But in the profs schedule probably just means he finishes 2 hours late instead of 3. Kathy his secretary is really nice but I feel pants about it. Ally says reassuringly if he treats bipolars he probably used to it. I hate being so badly organised it sucks. My limbs feel heavy and my head and heart feel like lead. I burden nell with my thoughts and when you feel this crap you worry that your mood will taint those near. Feel better with the girls around less time to ruminate.
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