Friday, October 31, 2008

On my home.

Therapy was intersting will be going back again.
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On the train to therapy

Quite literally. Going to Hartford for Human Givens Therapy. Sleep is still pants. Been to see my long suffering gp frank he agrees I am better. Start therapy and see him in two weeks. I got some blood sugar testing gear and sticks to see what's happening when I have these hypos.
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Now I have bought a macbook too. 13" screen old fashioned white but it is as far as budget would stretch.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Blogging from my new mac book the laptop dream version of my mac world

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Going to see a chap from here on Friday 
http://www.hgi.org.uk/index.htm

Thursday, October 23, 2008

The notice board.

A harbinger of gloom. Breast cancer survivors victims of family suicide survivors. Bloody hell I fee worse.
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Once again sat in the GP

Back to where I have spent so much time in recent years. Waiting to go and see Frank. October is often bad for me its a busy month and I often feel a seasonal swing coming on me.
Yesterday email was up the pole. Blueyonder was down nationally, and I didn't seem to get much through the gravitas account. There is always the chance no one sent me anything but I prefer the technology is goosed explanation.
A questionairre from the receptionist about standards of service.
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Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I love my iMac and despite the steep learning curve it is fantastic

Support group tonight at greenbank went well.They have a new coffee machine which is v. good. The suppliers are - double espresso good.
http://www.rijo42.co.uk/

Monday, October 20, 2008

Working on the website.
Been to a maes mums funeral - nice service nice church.
Now grafting at the iMac

Ally found my passport BTW. It was in her bedroom

Want to stay up all night playing with the iMac is this a bad thing. Cant. got to go to a friends mothers funeral tomorrow am. Day off work.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Friday, October 17, 2008

There are men scraping the tarmac off the road outside. I was awoken at 9 to move the car- its a tough old life.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Got to go see mum drop WLSinfo stuff there for storage. Then hotfoot to town to town to meet Ally. Then back here. Gym tomorrow I think.

Just had an iChat conference with Conor live from Gravitas it was peachy. Got to go to mothers to drop stuff off then go to town to see Ally.
Busy Busy Busy.

Now using a dashboard widget on my iMac to post this it is unbelievable. A steep learning curve but well worth the climb for sure.
I love the Mac.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Flying home.

Its been a great couple of days with the team from web integrations. They have really helped me focus on the work required to take the website forward and improve the quality of our content side. Bob Euan and Liz are a great team and it was a pleasure working with them. The hotel was primitive in the extreme. Redeemed mainly by the pleasant lady who served brekkie. Mobile phone and internet connection were pants. Still I enjoyed the rest. Looking forward to going home. 2 years today. Feels good. People who matter know what that means. Next week sees the 6 year anniversary of my bypass. Another big milestone. Planning another visit to gustav klimt tomorrow with dinner out. Sunday ruth and paul here so a busy weekend.
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

IMG00152.jpg

Stonehaven the view from the ship inn.
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Touch down Aberdeen

If anything feeling a little hyper. Manchester airport better organised than the shitshed coach station named after john lennon. It was faster cheaper smoother more organised. Now sat in the back of the cab mobile for stonehaven. Reassured to see cab driver doesn't know where we are going either. Good to see Mick last night looking bronzied and refreshed from a week in Majorca. Anyway here for 2 days training with Pip by Bob and Liz on our new content management system Sitellite.
Got weighed yesterday down 2.6 pound so pleased with that. Now last 4 stone plus since starting me preop diet. Need to get back to the gym again.
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Monday, August 25, 2008

Basin st Blues.

Bank holiday and trying to get sleep hygiene sorted. Been going to bed to late and sleeping in. Been doing me no good. In to work tomorrow and off to Scotland on Wednesday. Come back Friday night. Going to revisit the Klimt exhibition before it closes on Sunday. Got plenty of wlsinfo and gravitas stuff to sort. Professional membership website content and gravitas website improvements to work on. All go. Looking forward to meeting bob and liz up at web integrations at stonehaven. No sat in costa listenin to willie nelson and wynton marsalis in costa. Trying to do some of the physical thing.
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I saw a Venezuelan firefighter in Tesco.

Assuming Caracas is in that country and Bomberos is the word for fire fighter. Must be part of the world fire fighter games.
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Thursday, August 21, 2008

Thursday am

Up early. Legs achingl beyond belief. I guess yesterday I walked a helluva lot. And without crutches. Guess I am using muscles I didn't know I had after being in that plaster of paris.
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Thursday, August 14, 2008

On the 86C

Girls gone shopping. Me on the bus. Watching the world. Nearly home now.
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Results lunch

Just been to ill forino. For lunch delicious italian gaff in duke street it was recommended by Mick. I will be going there again.
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A Levels

Ally has excelled again. 4 A grades french english theology and general studies. We are extremely proud. Of that there is no doubt.
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The royal

Sat in fracture clinic waiting. What a pain in the bum. Had an xray which thanks to modern NHS IT was not done as a film but sent electronically to the clinic. The system prints me a chit to hand in and I hobble away. Intercepted by sister in clinic. Who looks accusingly and exclaims "is this yours. " Innocently I said yes - the name on the chit betrays me. I am not mrs patricia macintyre. I do though ask what she has and whether her prognosis is better than mine. Identity theft seems an option for a few minutes. In the meantime the A level news comes in.............
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Saturday, August 09, 2008

Yet more complaints

That I haven't been blogging. Truth is I have been mad busy. Was lecturing in Leeds. Came back busy at work. Busy on website doing my utmost to get all done even with a broken leg. Involved in two projects I had to sign non disclosure agreements about. So they remain secrets for now. All will come clear one day. Not that exciting really.
Ally gets a job with Liverpool PCT for the summer doing stuff based at Earle Road medical centre. Dublin based work takes up a lot of my efforts. Involved with the web space and radio advertising big time. I hate not being able to drive have to rely on Jean, Conor for work, and friends for meetings. Writing this for the museum conservation centre having just seen a great exhibition Stewart Bale photographs called Metropolis. Closes tomorrow and I was keen to catch it. Jeans birthday yesterday so a lot of birthday foccused activity. Yesterday saw debut of Sophia my great niece and goddaughters child. She is delightful pictures on flickr.
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Friday, July 11, 2008

The Pain The Pain

It got worse overnight. I succumbed to going to Garston Hospital walkin centre.
I was triaged and told it was probably ligaments. Sent for x-ray and waiting a long time to be treated. Took a long time telling them all the meds I am on and my medical history.

Monday continued

So after the art gallery (well recommended) we hobbled across St Georges plateau rather flashy pictureand tried to gain access to the heritage centre which sounds good but was shut.Bit more details there.
the rain was coming down so we limped across the road past the penny farthing (looks like its still a dive). Past the Royal court and along the side of st Johns. Looking for a brew/coffee and primarily a seat we end up in the met quarter. My foot is blooody killing me its swollen and painful but I hardly mention it. We toy with the idea of a rip to the walk in centre then but its late so I let the rest and the coffee do a bit. A small walk around the met quarter see 4 bananas then its over to the 08 shop and then into Liverpool 1. I am impressed. I take a mineral water in Debenhams cafe.
Eat in La Tasca then I am off a meeting.

Last night a friend made a request

he wants to see more posts in the blog. He cant be bothered with Twitter, the pictures provide only minor diversion he wants something a bit more meaty to bite into at lunchtime. He works in the city centre in a very posh building in a lovely environment, one could suggest better uses of his lunchtime but who am I to judge.
Anyway I always say (like any good performer I dont do requests)- but with with a regular readership that can be counted on the fingers of Homer Simpsons right hand I have to keep them sweet.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Forbidden snack

Been to the gym bought some snacks jane confiscated this dried fruit. Its all banned.

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Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Camera is out and so is the Sun

Ally and I are off in pursuit of Superlambananas. We find some see our results On Flickr
I play with Geotagging on my blackberry. We enjoy some time with a good walk around the city.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

ASO part 2

Steven Cummins - Environment determinants of food purchases: inside and outside of the home.
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ASO conference

------------------

ASO

Obesity and the built environment.
Awards - Denise Robertson. Metabolic cross talk between the colon and adipose tissue.
Catia Martins - the effects of exercise on appetite control.
Nick Cavill Building health:challenges and aopportunities.
Martin Birley. Health impact assessment in practice.
Amelia lake measuring the food environment.
------------------

ASO

Obesity and the built environment.
Awards - Denise Robertson. Metabolic cross talk between the colon and adipose tissue.
Catia Martins - the effects of exercise on appetite control.
Nick Cavill Building health:challenges and aopportunities.
Martin Birley. Health impact assessment in practice.
Amelia lake measuring the food environment.
------------------

ASO conference

------------------

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Road to Revision

Its been a long slow journal my weight log diligently kept till I really started gaining shows a interesting journey. I can support this with pictures too. No doubt my blog tells some of the truth too. I lost 16 stone in year one. I became an exercise junkie. I loved it< and fully embraced a complete lifestyle change. It seemed the more I did the more I could eat and the more I would lose weight. The next stone in about the same period. The following year an acute obstruction, peritonitis and pneumonia took me down to 15 something. I didn’t look good. They put me on a diet to build me up. After two years of eat less being my mantra they started to chant eat more eat more. I can remember being in hospital being ravenous and eating what I wanted (with the staffs permission). M&S trifles became a firm favourite. I had dumped a handful of times in year one, but sadly no more.
My mental health which has never been great rumbled along in various stages. I had a hypomanic episode in year one followed by a depressive episode. A diagnosis of Bi-polar followed swiftly, I was reluctant to accept this initially and did so at my peril. I eventually became 100% compliant on medication. Anti depressants and sodium valproate. I was to suffer the effects of the black dog of depression on several occasions since and live aware it may be round the corner.
I tried to get back into exercise with some success, its positive virtues made sense, it did lift my mood if I could be bothered to get there.
I turned to increased amounts of alcohol, for its pharmacotherapeutic effect and paid scant regard to its calorific value. As a positive, my passion for malt whiskey which I had abandoned before my op never returned.
My full time employment ceased I felt blessed to be pensioned off due to ill health. My mental health was making working at senior manager level in a high stress environment unsustainable. I got a new post at a very junior admin level part time giving me all the positive virtues of work with none of the downsides.
In March 2006 I suffered a fit, later to be diagnosed as the first sign of a sub arachnoid haemorrhage, I underwent minimally invasive neuro surgery, and was back at home before I knew what had happened. I lost my driving licence and I was constantly fatigued and plagued with severe headaches. I took the maximum dose of pain killers ranging from paracetamol, through codeine to tramadol. Alcohol seemed to help my sleep pattern, though looking back that was an illusion.
I was officially told to put my feet up and not to exert myself – for once advice from professionals which I complied with 100%.
I was angry, why had this happened to me? What had I done to deserve this. I tried as ever in my life to rebel, to do the opposite of best advice. I thought I knew what was good for me.
It took five months to come to my senses, I had little insight into the mess I was in. My mental health tetered, my personality under went changes. I was supported admirably over this couple of years by a clinical psychologist who helped me learn.
I decided to stop drinking in August 2006 and sought help from several agencies, friends, and professionals to help extract me from one part of my situation. In check date I underwent a weeks management in the neuro unit to treat my headaches. It involved cessation of all painkillers, intravenous infusions and caffeine free diet. It worked despite my scepticism.
My spiritual health has been a factor in this journey. I have been a Christian since 1990 and have had three dalliances with organised Churches and 1 fellowhip. My belief and values are stronger than ever, though still I am far from perfect and see myself as a work in progress. I believe that good works and deeds will help oneself often more than who you help and it continues to be part of things.
My self esteem (a lifelong problem) remains in a buoyant state. I often feel that I have a switch with only two settings – full on and full off. If I join a club I want to be a big part, achieve great things. I have traditionally found long term commitment impossible I set up WLSinfo with a plan to withdraw after 6 months and maybe I am changing for the better in that I continue to commit. I don’t know all the answers in fact I think I know less now than when I started, but life feels a whole lot better today than it has for a long time.
I have just got up to review this, count words and make a cup of tea. There seems to be a major omission. Apart from passing reference to trifle food doesn’t seem to get a mention. Thats unfair it obviously played a major part of the picture of regain. My omission, or initial denial is something I have often seen in fellow suffers from obesity. Even some less enlightened Health care professionals sneer at the 34 stone patient who claims to survive on lettuce. I believe at my biggest my inability to discuss this was through self disgust and even a disbelief that I could do such injurious things to myself. I believe those feelings are compounded by being a health care professional and by having lost the weight once before. I have heard talk about the slimmer of the year syndrome, where successful dieters gain the weight. The spotlight of exposure and the media make it worse, and in February I turned down a TV appearance because of my appearance. Even the action of sitting at the front of a group or on a stage can put pressures on.
I have heard an eminent professor say we are all obesophobic and harbour negative attitudes to fat and fat people. That applies even to obesity professionals and extends to patients (even the ex obese) themselves.
I have faced some hard harsh comments about my weight and have tried to deal with them honestly and openly. Some still hurt.
Even now I continue to prevaricate my portion sizes grew exponentially. I could devour a three course meal, or a complete fish and chip supper though feel full. My passion for cakes and sweet things had exploded. In the last few months I could open a packet of biscuits and not stop till the last had gone and I had eaten a days food, and full knew each morsels calorific content. I know what its like to full disgust afterwards too. To eat so fast I would be looking for leftovers, to make special stops on the way home from work.
Buying new bigger clothes became a nightmare, I remember the delight when I started shopping at the normal shops after my first op, but felt it more deeply when forced back to my old internet suppliers. Fortunately friends helped in this situation.
It became a spiral put on weight feel crap eat more put on weight feel crap. Fortunately I had continuous after care and was being monitored. I needed help.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Friday, March 28, 2008

Waiting for Ally

First night at work for the girl. Finds me sat outside the echo arena.
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Sunday, March 16, 2008

Another day on that diet.

Kept to it. Took my mum cafe 23 I had soup. Tea was a freedom chicken posh carrots mayan gold spuds and cauliflower cabbage. Trying to do it. Ts proving hard.
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Thursday, March 13, 2008

We was robbed.

The blue boys did a great job to win 2-0 then hold them through extra time and then get beaten on penalties. It was exciting but highlight for me was the abuse of the clearly biased ref and a player callled Neville.
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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Weekend

Hope the weigh in tomorrow is ok. Struggled with the diet if I am on honest. Saw a fox last night. Nearly set fire to the kitchen this afternoon.
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Thursday, March 06, 2008

Thursday

Flakes but no soup. Wasted carbs on butties in patient presentation. Fruit in the afternoon. Mayilones car had been vandalised and tunnel tag pinched at the match. Mince tomato sauce and veggie stir fry for tea
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Wednesday

Cereal,soup then out for a chinese with the Gravitas Team. Mike is up from HQ with the gravitas logo goodies. We now have pens and mugs.
Some samples of a sports bag, and I get a laptop bag too. My portfolio gets donated to Barbara.
The chinese was good but sitting between my surgeon and dietitian did curb the most wanton of my excesses. I did eat too much. Went to winwick quiz afterwards and succumbed to a small slice of birthday cake. We won the quiz.
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Tuesdays tea

Lamb steak baked spud and salad
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Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Tuesday.

Hard graft in wlsinfo. Search stuff headaches. Cereal and juice
Off to cafe 23 on bus for lamb soup. Walked along allerton road mooching. Bought amateur photographer and some salad.
Americano in costa coffee. Then into pharmacy to check script.
For info

Ferrous sulphate
Depakote
Cacit d3
Forceval
Fluoxetine
Solvazinc
Aspirin
Perindopril
Lomeprazole

That's for Micks interest when he is at lunch.
------------------

Mondays food and weigh in.

Cereal and juice for breakfast. Off to work. 4kg down in a week. Made up. Fruit. Soup - carrot and orange I think. More fruit. Home. Salmon and broccoli healthy eating meal wirth extra salad. Extra salad. Yum yum. Still its been worth it. This weeks plan is to increase the exercise.
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Sunday, March 02, 2008

Mothers day.

breakfast, was flakes and fruit juice. Lunch was half a chicken leg, with carrots, broccoli, peas, cabbage two boiled baby new spuds and gravy, was full. Had two weight watchrs fromage frais with raspberries in the mid afternoon. Plan to take a chicken salad to me mas for tea,

Saturday

Breakfast in little chef - wanted big fry up but settled for - scrambled egg on two rounds dry toast. Soup for lunch - two pieces of fruit.
Committee meeting, moderators meeting. went well. Went to the plough at diseworth. Had a stew in a loaf - pictured below. V.nice. Home via A500 and M6. M6 blocked between 18 and 19 10 mile detour.

Saturday, March 01, 2008

IMG00060.jpg

Stew
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Today

Got up late. Two media calls following audreys appearance in the daily record. Out to cafe had tom yam soup. Apple and banana in car driving to derby. Traffic was pants. Off to derby for tea. Funny old city dearth of eateries. Ended up in some chain prawn cock minimal dressing. And club sandwich hold the mayo and coleslaw. Substitue salad for fries. Leave some bread. Wonder if I have eaten enough. By the way 18 months since I had a drink today.
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Friday, February 29, 2008

Fw: Rick Wakeman Is Going On Tour

Rick wakeman as a standup. How sad is that.


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-----Original Message-----
From: "Classic Media Group" <info@classic-media-group.com>

Date: Fri, 29 Feb 2008 12:11:38
To:ken.clare@wlsinfo.org.uk
Subject: Rick Wakeman Is Going On Tour


Hello,We sent you the news of Rick Wakeman's new DVD release a few days ago...The Grumpy Old Picture Show...but we forgot to tell you he is going on tour in April & May so check out his official website for the news: www.rwcc.comRICK WAKEMAN'S GRUMPY OLD PICTURE SHOW OUT ON DVDRecorded from his very successful tour of the same name, this hilarious one-man show see Rick Wakeman reprise his very popular role from the BBC hit series, 'Grumpy Old Men'.  Identifying with the masses, watch him moan and rant his way through the frustrations and irritations of modern life! Delivered in a highly amusing fashion, Rick creates a riotous pastiche of his extraordinary life and escapades.PRE-ORDER YOUR COPY TODAY FROM OUR ONLINE STORE AND SAVE £3.00 http://www.classic-media-group.com/classic-direct/dvd/dvd-details.php?product=29SEE THE DVD TRAILER ON YOU TUBE:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3IHVdG3rKqE

Click here <http://www.classicmediagroup.com/mailer/users/unsub.php?Mem=3040&ConfirmCode=c31747ef125ff3427589c43bd2701cbb> to unsubscribe <http://www.classicmediagroup.com/mailer/users/sendopen.php?MemberID=3040&SendID=69&Type=Send>

Thursday, February 28, 2008

Thursdays food

Breakfast cereal fruit and yoghurt. forgot pills and potions. late for meeting. Got to Jimmys. Handed out few more cards. Lunch was some sort of vegetable paste salad bread roll thing. I swapped my crisps for a tangerine. Home and then trout/prawn salmon salad and baked spud.So all in all doing ok. Weigh in Monday.
Right bedtime for bonzo

Lunch and tea.

Lunch half a smoked salmon sandwich and thai chicken noodle soup.
Smoked haddock salad, followed by seabass spuds and mixed veg. Followed up by grilled mixed fruit. *eft the cream. 1 banana, and tea and coffee. Day 3 done.
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Wednesday, February 27, 2008

IMG00058.jpg

I didn't eat the cream.
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Consent

Risk and complications of bariatric surgery leaflet.
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Earthquake and Breakfast.

About 1am there was a whooshing noise. Then the room shook. I remembered that from my extensive eartquake experience (1984) that this was what it was. Part of me wondered if it was a haunting. Or indeed my fruit and veg induced dietary wind. Breakfast TV informed me it was a 5.2 centred in Lincolnshire. I checked in at home to confirm I had survived. Then braved breakfast. Cereal and milk. Then fruit and yoghurt. Coffee. Surrounded by inconsiderate sods troughing huge cooked breakfasts. Don't they realise.
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Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Tuesdays food. Fruit veg and a hangover

Woke up with a bad head. Felt like I had a mother of a hangover. Put it down to dehydration and detoxification. Couldnt get up. Was late into work. So todays intake.
Cereal and milk.
3 pieces of fruit, soup, and then tea in Leeds.
I dipped out of the faculty dinner and eat in the hotel. I had seabass and fettucini with a spicy tomato sauce. Followed by fresh fruit with greek yoghurt.
Got asked to join a committee to day, I would tell you what it is but I dont understand the confidentiality agreement. i will have to ask.
Speaking at a course later today in the LIMIT at St James Hospital Leeds.
Now its time for bed.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Welcome to my diet.

It had to happen a serious attempt at weight loss. My portion sizes are out of control. My food choices are poor. Last weeks food intake sounds like a masterchef menu. Well here's the plan. Following a tailor made customised plan from me mate Jayne. Low everything from what I can see. So today.
Cereal, 5 portions of fruit, soup, healthy eating curry ready meal and lots of drinks.
Food isn't really on my mind till 7.15am when spring rolls enter my dreams. Oh dear. Feel tired don't know if its due to my recently diagnosed anaemia or starvation. Manage a days work. Find some funky new gadget to try (watch this space). Lots of media and website stuff today. Get interviewed on radio city commenting on happy meals being banned in liverpool.
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Sunday, February 10, 2008

Laughing blue nuns and sore knees

I saw the nuns in tesco prescot where I was in search of a metal mop bucket for my mother. Went to argos and purchased a new chair, whilst carrying it out I fell off the kerb and knakkered my knees. My new pedometer arrived yesterday, supposed to be good. Part of my increase exercise plan.
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Thursday, January 31, 2008

Mick and his ..................ladies


IMG_4614-14, originally uploaded by kenclarewls.

Plenty more on http://www.flickr.com/photos/kenclareblog

Westminster station


IMG_4587-1, originally uploaded by kenclarewls.

With a man marching like a Nazi

Busy busy busy

Two birthdays this week. Mine and Allys. Things have quietened down now. Sat chillin in borders/starbucks. My birthday has a sort of martin parr theme. Overlaid with technical photography stuff some excellent Dvds too
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Monday, January 21, 2008

Virgin hotline magazine

To advertise telephone - 02074139370
------------------

One to note

www.injurybenefitreview.nhsbsa.nhs.uk
08456101111
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London summary

Friday done. Got up late saturday missed brek. Went to support group met chris at Baker street. Good meeting some tough questions. After meet went for coffee in Valeries patisserie. Back to hotel then ablute and out to china garden for tea. Excellent meal. Sunday morning up handy off to national portrait gallery to see pop art and photographic portrait exhibition. Then off for a walk down whitehall and train at westminster station. Got off at greenwich north. Into the dome. Lunched at iguana brazilian gaff. Had a xinxan chicken. Blown away by the tutankhamun ehibition. Back to hotel. Watch time team and picture this. Then down the road for a quick chinese and over the road to see Sweeney Todd premier. Enjoyed it gory but musical. Back to hotel and now watching Rules of Engagement with Samuel L Jackson and Tommy Lee Jones.
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Saturday, January 19, 2008

Been ill

Had a virus which affected my guts. Not well. Poorly boy had to stay off work. Off to London today. Journey was good. I was dressed for freezing though its 16degrees. Two tubes to finchley road. Had a major panic attack. I hate it. Went fo a japanese for tea.
Hit a tempura and a beef terriyaki set dinner. Started with appetisers of roast pork fishcake spicy veg potato sqalad and omelette. Miso soup. I had a bowl of weird veg and jean had a salad. Then came mains. Veg and fish tempura. Beef with beansprouts rice bowls and three pickled veg dishes. Top stuff no raw fish on my plate. There were several japanese people eating in there. My first ever japanese won't be my last. All followed by fresh fruit and qaccompanied by green tea. Then it was off to westminster pier to see big ben strike 10 and get wet. Back to hotel and must write presentation for tomorrow.
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Speech and language therapist says there is improvement

I have been practicing writing emails on both the keyboard and my phone. Apparently the practice is paying off. I am really lucky that we ha...