Wednesday

Mornin chillin in da house. Then a quick call from the nursing standardsends me off to office worl for a huge roll of bubble wrap to wrap up big ken to courier to london. This is the gaff top looking joint. This is th efirm Amtrak I thought it would cost a load the online quote implies it will be about 80squid for the two parcels.

St James and Seacroft University Hospital's Obesity Surgery

St James and Seacroft University Hospital's Obesity Surgerythe official Mr P website.

BBC Inside Out - Surprising stories, familiar places

BBC Inside Out - Surprising stories, familiar placesSteve pollard stuff

Tuesday

Off to Franks for an early am cut, Peter starts about 6.30 so my 7.45 is cool. He is a top guy short of stature and deaf but we get on fine. For a long time I wouldnt let him near the barnet but he is the barber of choice now. Interviewed for gastro journalPicked up the DJ full gear from the shop at Taggart today 39 squid for a couple of weeks. off the Matchworks for the flu jab, nice ladt there. Show a few of the bods from the works cutout big ken. Much respect. off for filming goes well and then off to support group a top talk from steve pollard. Goes well then home

Monday

Ring the Bosch service department - comin wednesday this is gonna cost I suspect. Sort out some work gear, and chill. Book an interview for Tuesday Mornin with Karen a Journo from RCN - seems a good un, but then they all do. Chill round the house, and take my work in for a sort out with Jon, he is enthusiastic in extremis. We may be parting company, I end up sounding spookily like David Brent when I tell him I am thebest boss he will ever have, well its true, I am David Brent. Kim passes on the latest updates, her sisters credibility is failing fast after the duff gen on the Merseyrail system. Back Home Jean has been in a cleaning frenzy, which disturbs me. Generalised chilling and sorting webstuff.

Googlewhacking: The Search for The One True Googlewhack

Googlewhacking: The Search for The One True Googlewhack Spend far too much time playing with this concept

Sunday

Chill AM, till the oven breaks, luckily it was as we finished making the lunch. Went to otterspool after had a long walk along the front I was up for the pier head and backbut was overruled. Bought a PC for my sister and bro-in-law from Dell. the ask you will the machine be used to support acts of terrorism or develop weapons of mass destruction. Tempted to say yes, I must point out I was using her credit card most enjoyable. Spoke to niece home for weekend, mess onn website for the rest of the day.

Saturday

Cool day do little in the am. Go to gym later and work hard. Pick mother up, nearly kill her as she suicidally launches herself in to the road during a reversing in a rainstorm incident. Go to borders read a book on nutrition and metabolism and realise that I have been taken the wrong vit b. I have been taking B6 which is used to prevent PMS and I should have been taking B1 to prevent Wenickes encephalopathy which has sarted showing up in Bariatric patiens. i have seen it once or twice not nice and preventable. Off to Boots Monday. Big read in the pm followed by scary moments.

friday

Postman arrives with my Blogger Hoodie kewl
Start the day late witha 10o'clock about systems at Rathbone, slightly out of my depth but accompanied by a geezer from Audit things feel clearer. It finishes surprisingly early and its back home lasagne for dinner. Jean drops me at the Matchworks then a new GMS contract fest starts first with the main group back to back with informatics and quality outcomes subgroup. Sam is a star and relieved that she is on the ball and Paul J wants an early dart.
18 years ago I gave up travelling by the merseyrail train system. A bit like the underground it is a quick way of getting round Merseyside.
Most people will know how welcome the super obese are on mass transit systems and whole well they meet our needs.
Well yesterday I took the train from Garston to Moorfields in town. It didnt help that me mate had told me I would need to change, or that I was bricking it. I stood on the platform for 10 mins the train arrived, I sat on a normal seat, enjoyed the ride Nobody else on the trai seemed to realise how special and exciting this was. It was a privilege to travel on this very fine system they probably wondered why this guy was smiling. Merseyrail had missed the occaision and there was little evidence of the welcome back Ken Clare banners. Very little trumpet fanfares when I arrived for the first time in my life in Moorfields. I was open mouthed at the whole spectacle looking like an recent arrival from an underdeveloped country. The escalator was quite spooky too. I then was faced with a choice of exits, unknown to me I just chose right and exited the station I went down the ramp, forgetting I can do stairs now. I then walked the half a mile to the pub in the cold and enjoyed it. When i got there I wasn't sweating, or in pain.I didnt need to rush to sit down. I enjoyed a few Yorkshire terriers with an old friend and it felt kinda good - a bit special really. A search for Yorkshire Terrier turned up A blog fuelled by Beer kewl

Thursday.

Meeting with system supplie cancelled instead we meet and I wonder what is going on. tesco for lunch pick up some chicken soup and smoked salmon. Paperwork and then the delightful Sam has organised the facilitators forum good stuff. home and chill.

Wednesday

Supposed to be at a vodafone gig at Old trafford today, pressure of work prevents and I end up dealing with emails instead. Meeting with Kim to get on top of new GMS contract meeting actions. Then a good one to one with Val. Not a bad day at all. Get quite a bit done.

Tuesday

Niece Ann and god daughter megans birthdays today. Few probs on the website and get a lot of work sorting them. Interesting meeting dealing with sorting out the works phone system. A few jobs pulling things together then off for luch at Damons with finance gurus Andy and Kim. Cool time then a meeting about our website and ebusiness strategy. Goes well then its off home. Jk has picked pre-op Ken up kewl or what. JK is a dude he has been rough but looks better tonight than he has for ages. Well pleasing.

Monday Morning

Always comes round to early. TAlk to the delightful Rebecca on the way in, she aint been too good and I have been worried about her. Get into work and for a wee while actually begin to act and feel like a senior manager. Meet with Diane older persons nurse to try and plan a startegy for this afternoons meet. Then ring Jeanette in the LIS to get her to explain things to me. Single Assessment Protocol, which seems a fairly good idea but difficult to implement.
Actually make good inroads into me inbox and start getting things squared Jon has done an excellent job. Everything is fine till a box arrives from BT syntegra with a copy of the promovid I was in in it. Oh how I laffed, I almost sounded credible then the last few frames end with me with a pathetic grin on me face. Nice still makes the boys laff and laff. Also some goodies which we have to declare then share out the bounty.
SAP meeting in the afternoon when a plan starts to come together. Feels almost joined up. Scoot home and lasagne for tea, good bit of support work then a phone call to the excellent Vivvi who is seriously into fund raising and eurocash, social enterprise and socially excluded. Feels like something great will come out of that phone call.

Sunday

Arose relatively late and hit the cooking trail.
Delia abounds, shepherds pie and adapted luxury smoked fish top stuff. All enjoy. I find the potato sits heavy. Have the fish pie at lunch and then leftover shepherds for tea. Bit of a milestone as I enjoy cooking for the first time in ages. The girls go to church and I engage in the wlsinfo chat session. I enjoy it and it is good to talk to people, sort of in real life. Also realising its not all ticketty boo, and people havedowntimes too. Enjoy Henry 8 part two, Ray bloats up towards the end, what a nasty piece of work. The church of england dont come out of it very well.

Saturday

webwork chilling and shopping. Gym again weight messing about several conflicting messages from scales. Choose to stand back and see the bigger picture. Borders in the evening with Ally and watch Henry 8.

Wednesday, Thursday, friday

Home again, gym and chill.

Monday and Tuesday.

Conference gig. Natioanl Obesity Forum top gig it goes well I end up speaking and decline the Tuesday BBC news. Dont want to cheese work off. Meet hundreds of new people andlove it. Marvel at the photos, meet Rosemary Conley and Chris steele Telly doc are interesting. Just a wow.
Causes me to reflect on the last conference I attended.
Reflections from a delegate.
Last time I attended a conference in London I was probably about 33 stone, I walked with the aid of two elbow crutches, my joints screamed with pain. Attending the NOF conference made me reflect on what it was like, and the difference now.

I was roused from a deep sleep by my wife, who helped me bathe. Barely able to squeeze into our extra large bath, but unable to stand long enough to shower. I needed help to wash my feet, and had to be assisted out of the bath and towelled dry by to reach the unreachable parts. I couldn’t dress my self, my shoes and socks were things that I had to rely on my wife to attend to. Unable to stand long enough to prepare food she would do it, or I would perch on my industrial strength wooden garden chair.

We drove in my enormous Ford Galaxy (I could fit behind the wheel) to Lime street station, parked in the disabled parking space and she and my daughter carried my luggage to the virgin office, where I was handed over to a helpful lady. Having prebooked and holding a disabled persons rail card I was able to use their care scheme.

She escorted me to my reserved seat in second class it soon became clear that there was no way I was fitting in the seat, it wasn’t wide enough and the table made it impossible. I felt ashamed as the staff helpfully tried to first wedge me in then secondly extricate me.

The senior hand suggested an upgrade to first class was appropriate; the seats are made for comfort. She made a fuss of telling me it would cost 15 quid but quietly confided she only did that to stop me being lynched by the other passengers. Breathless anxious sweating and in pain I commenced a slow journey to the other end of the train. The seats were bigger but indeed I still had to be forced into position. A kind guard plied me with drinks I generally refused because I knew I was large to get in to the narrow doored toilet.

On arrival at Euston I was told to await the Euston equivalent of the nice lady, after 35 minutes in a darkened carriage a man came to evict me he radioed mobility assistance. A man who was an obvious obesophobic arrived. The friendly accusatory stare made me feel great. He threw my luggage into the back of his powered cart and I took up the entire back seat and was driven complete with orange flashing lights around Euston. Might as well been displaying a who ate all the pies banner.

On arrival at the taxi rank the smiles said it all. I struggled out with my luggage and crutches. The porter helped with luggage I had to stand queuing for fifteen minutes drenched in sweat and breathless every joint screaming in protest. I registered and made my way to my room which was helpfully disabled friendly. The had removed the toilet door.

The toilet was located so close to the heated towel rail, after squeezing myself in I burnt my leg again and again. Not many people know that obese men sit to pee. Defecation brought the delight of a long handled bottom wiper. A folding instrument around which toilet paper is wrapped. It isn’t quite clear how you remove the toilet paper in an eco friendly way. The job is usually finished with a shower and some imagination, particularly if a shower head is fixed.

I ate food delivered by room service too ashamed to travel the dining room, ok for the evening meal. But the breakfast was left on the floor outside the room. Only tactic was to get on the floor shuffle out on my backside. The door slammed and yes the key was in the room, still at least I had my shirt and underpants on. Only 20 minutes till someone passed and got the porter for me. Beginning to feel a bit low by this point. Back into the room and I got ready by now I needed another shower. Achieved with some difficulty by squatting in the shower, .

I was on the seventh floor and had to let the lift go 7 times before I got one empty enough to consider getting in. Then a cab (another fat friendly geezer - not). The conference centre and a 40 minute queue for registration, wracked with pain I get into the hall. Taking two seats is always popular. Coffee was impossible, bottled water from home. Lunch was a treat a buffet with two crutches was a non starter. Eventually found an eatery with chairs without arms.

There was I believe an exhibition I don’t know it was too far to even comprehend going to. Standing talking was impossible, a complete non starter. In the afternoon the sessions I wanted to attend were cunningly planned at opposite ends of the huge centre. In the end I just stayed in the same room and looked interested in what was going on. The drinks reception was a hoot two chairs in the whole room I got one then discovered how wheelchair users feel, conversing with peoples groins. Dinner was a nightmare chairs with arms, well I asked the poor eastern European waiter and he got the drift. The AVA technician brought in a collapsible folding armless chair sized me up then took it away. The place settings are of course set for a normal sized geezer a third of my body weight and width.

But never mind I was a jolly fat man, but never, despite appearances a fat jolly man.

It brought it home at the end of the NOF conference a man said aren’t you going shopping, I hadn’t realised I was able. I had forgotten I could run 5k in 38 minutes so I could probably do a bit of shopping.

Sunday a week ago

Seems like an age away, chilled then went to London 15.15 train took an age went via Piccadilly 5 hours made easier by a beer with the geezer from Kenyons. Arrived at hotel and set up the stand with Nell A top gaff formerly the YWCA and was designed by Lutyens of doomed Liverpool Cathedral project fame.

that week

Saturday a gentle start to the to the day and we relax together, mental note made to take things easier have clearly been overdoing it. Which is never a good idea. Off to Borders and Argos to get a laminator and then lunch in Damons we act like a chilled family. Fall asleep in the afternoon then send Jean to pick Nanna up. Very tired

Friday
Doesn't start well and gets worse, feeling very sick send myself home very ropey. An awful lot of vomiting and then feeling goosed a s a result.
Thursday.
Off to see the trainers at Newhall in the offices of North PCT – their boardroom no less. A good conversion but Newhall is still one strange gaff. Very odd place a row of cottages facing each other a variety of uses through the years but it still retains its institutional feel. I feel strangely at home there after my extensive training at the now demolished Winwick Hospital.
Back to the works and it’s a cheerful gig with informatics meets prescribing. We get on well with Clare Lisa Sharon and the rest of the gang, at least now we understand better what they are about.
I stand Stella and Ann up (sorry mates) but needs must when the paperwork is piling. Meet with Robin Ireland from Herart of mersey an allround good guy who gives me a few things to think about.
Then its off to Hammy NCP treat, costing me a fortune.
Home inevitable lasagna and chill.


Wednesday.
Have to dip out of a meeting with Fran and Veronica to take part in the payroll review group. After that it’s the Richmond tavern with Keith an auditor who is surprising good company for an auditor. Sorry to diss an entire profession but speak as you find I say.
Then its off to Hammy House for a demo of a training database software package, still it runs on .net and I understand that a bit.
Home and chill.


Tuesday.
In the office for most of the day , turgid experience catching up but getting on top of a few things at last. Caught up with Christine about the Desktop roll out she truly has done a sterling job and got us on target in the end. Top stuff, she has really shown an excellent skill set and it has been a pleasure to be part of her development.
Then its off to see Jon Consultant Physician and Lecturer at the university. Cool dude and we hit it off straight away. He helps John Wilding run the obesity management clinic at Walton where I was treated for 2 and a bit years. We talk for ages but the time passes real quick. Heaps of stuff is covered he and I are off the the same National Obesity Forum gig next week so it cool to catch up before the conference.
What did we cover well easier to say what we didn’t cover.
Academic research into obesity surgery and the lack of quality work.
On being fat and being treated and recovering.
The Trial that he wants me to be on the steering committee of.
All sorts of stuff really enjoyable and the time just flies.
Then its off home via Sainsbury Walton, I only have time for a pasta salad as at 8 it’s the first meeting of the cell. A good group of geezers, with a good sense of humour and a deeply spiritual focus. We meet at Franks surgery and after a discussion we wander round praying in many rooms. Seems a bit odd but most refreshing spiritually

Monday

Start the day at Hammy House for a heads meeting, alaff and the dynamics are kinda interesting. Whip off to the car park,via delaneys. The pie shop and newsagents. I miss Pies, I purchase their home made chicken and sweetcorn soup which I enjoy in the rain the NCP is gonna cripple me I must claim mileage this month. Off to Belle Vale for a meeting about the GPwSI work that one out. A woman from the past accuses me of impersonating Ken Clare. Only remedy is to produce a before shot and say look. She finally accepts it. Paul Smith is as entertaining as ever. Julie is cool for a dietitian.
Back to Hammy House they seem tohave morphed Belle Vale and the presence of the new Morrisons store confuses me. Arrive back at the leeching NCP and back to Hammy for a meeting with Paul "Mr Angry" and Tony. Tony who is from St Helens telss me Johnny Vegas and his wife have split up. She says St Helens was too much like the league of gentlemen, tony aint best pleased but I can see where she is coming from. Back home via the LIS team. Computer problems at the works and Mick aint feelin good, Get home chill and feel stiff as a board. All day people have been saying it will b worse tomorrow and guess what, they were right.

Sunday mornin

Off to Chester via Runcorn, nice morning but running is a bad idea. Get to the Roodee and end up parked next to Fran. Not as atmospheric as the liverpool start but a pleasant course through the historic city. Come in at 38.52 a massive shave off my PB of 47 08 wellchuffed. Photograhic evidence here. Off home wet through with a bad case of joggers nipple(s).Off to Ruth and Pauls where I eat a normal Sunday Lunch and feel good. Back home and very tired. Jean goes off to Church Ally jibs Pathfinders and we watch a frightening waking the dead.

Saturday Afternoon

No gym today, serious preparation for tomorrows run. Pick Mama up with Ally and whisk her home via somerfields.
Back to ours, and then whip ally back to nannas via Borders. Jean is off out to the tennis club I is off to Jack the Lads leaving bash. Based at Mustard smithdown road, they are eating, but the proles and post oppers wait in the bar. One of those dont want to go just stay for one and then off nights turns into a boss laff and too much bitter is consumed. Joined by Neil and Karen from South Sefton a feisty pair, who assure me they are just mates. Get home very late and very tired and emotional. Morning comes all to soon.

Buggles had it right

Remember them interestingly they were the first video played on MTV. I remember feeling very sad they day the geezer joined YES. What a heavy bummer. I listened to to my interview in horror, do I really sound like that.At the start I thought it was going to get unpleasant but it turned out cool in the end. Click here if you dare.

Friday am I off or am i not

Jon is off I take the chance to catch up in the office Jean is off but I aint. The delightful stuart from Boots hearing rings up to check how I am doing, not well really. Get some work done, and then lunch at the Bear and Staff, Chicken and crab ballotine strange combination but good. Back to the works and get on with it. Off to pick ally and her mates up from school, good stuff and then a tesco beef finest lasagne. Then its off to to radio merseyside to appear on Roger Lyon show I think it went ok but I will hear it soon. Then its off to Beas to see ally and jean. Some git has stole allys id on a website and messed about with it, ally gets a lesson in password management

thursday

off to the works someone doesnt turn up for a meet (second time this week)reason volume control turned down on blackberry. Phone meet with a chief exec from yorkshire then improving working lives meeting at sir alfred jones. Interesting gig many of the staff saw me on the telly but whats funny is they all know me mam. Back to the works and have a confusing meeting with finance nothing new there then.
Got home just chilled with the girls.

Wednesday

Team meeting good stuff, good presentation from Tracey even more impressed when I learn it is her first. Out to Asda with Kim pick up some lunch then back to the works. Bit of a catch up then a big meet with central.
Celebratory curry at Millon enjoy my foray with a pint of lager a pappadum and two prawn puri starters, only eat a bit of bread. Tres Bon

Orf to leeds

So its off to Leeds for a meeting with EMIS well the notes have a dubious professionally priveliged info which means I cant talk about, suffice to say it is interesting. I travel with Doc McCoy aka greasy lover riding shotgun, and Linda in he back we have good journeys both ways and even catch a bit of yes on the way back, top stuff. Back home and off to Greenbank for tea and there is a kids party on me jean ally hil and jen chow down cool. Good meeting we are joined by mary and les and jack pops in. Good meet and plenty done then back home. The support group is moving, going places.