31

I forgot to mention my back has been playing me up, since I went to the gym on Sunday. It got worse and this morning it went into spasm and I can hardly walk. I didn't use my stick over the holiday - wonder if thats whats caused it

31st - New years eve

Never liked it anyway, too much false sentimentality and fights. I once got wrestled to the floor by several coppers on New Years Eve - I was innocent honest. They were very nice when they realised it was a mistake. The plan has been the same for several years now Jeans mum, Ruth and Paul are coming round here - watch festive TV and eat a bit. I am saving myself for a prawn - whoopy doo. Visited by our old friend Gordon today, another one of my friends who'll be glad to see the back of 2002. He was on top form as we reminisced about the fun we had in mental health days.

30th

Major PC problems, Video card it turned out to be after much messing. Sound isn't working now???? Nuisance factor 10.
Visited by Simon and Angie, Simon of bypass(heart type) fame, a fellow "that's a big operation boy." All went well except we didnt have any Bacardi Breezers in for Angie, she told me not to mention it on the blog though. Simon looks well and invited us to his 40th birthday party in Irby club - sounds good.

29th

Dads birthday - he died five years ago but I still miss him. Raised a glass to him in the evening. Went to the gym and worked out, saw Roy a retired guy who I haven't see for about 2 months he was amazed with my appearance. Got weighed 156kilos thats 132lbs, 60kg lost or 9.43 stones in english money. I was worried the red wine would have stopped the weight loss. That's a stone since 17/12/2002. Made up.

27th and 28th

Didn't do much at all, played with my prezzies and became addicted to Civilisation III on the laptop. Jean had to work on the Friday but Ally and I slobbed out (same as most Christmases but I wasnt eating goodies). Things did stay down well though and I didn't barf either day.

Boxing Day

Visited by Ally, Paul and Archie, great to have a baby around to put you in the Christmas spirit. I might hire one for next year. We entertained at teatime so it we had a busy time tidying and prepping for tea. 10 guests and us three, I decided not to eat anything, so soup and milk only for me. Some redwine as well. I had left the bingo set in Culcheth so I had to download some software and print out cards. I used the program to generate the numbers on the laptop. It went down well, especially with the older set. Paul, Alan and Colin my brothers in law hid in the backroom - drinking I suspect. I had more redwine and some port. I think I was drunk by the end of the night but it doesn't take much.

Christmas Day Part 2

Got Marys house, Nanny, Nanna, Mary, John, Ann, Dave, Maria and Sue the dog where all in fine form. I had planned to hold a bingo session for the oldies but couldn't be bothered when it came down to it. We played pontoon - for prizes. Not the most stress free game I have ever organised - I am sure that when the blog is made into a film it will be a good scene. The deafness of the oldies, poor sight and general argumentative nature led to a riot. I was glad to get home and and catch the last of the eastenders that day. A cracking episode with a wedding and a death, done to the tune of stand by me sang by a gospel choir. I had some redwine whilst watching the telly.

Christmas Day

Woke early and rushed fresh orange juice and tablets down, which I regretted later. Went downstairs to open our prezzies and drink tea. Quickly barfed and felt rotten. Sort of spoilt the presents I think. Ally got loads and she did turn back into an excited youngster for few moments before becoming "Kevin" again. I went back to bed and slept a bit longer. Woke a couple of hours later and rushed out to Ruth and Pauls. They had prepared an excellent lunch (as always) 12 for dinner and Billy Bernadette and Matthew for drinks. I think food mourning hit me before I got in the house - it smelt like the whole world was roasting potatoes. The stuffing looked divine and Jenny our neice had made some cranbrry sauces as part of her food tech A level course. I put some mash carrotts and stuffiing on a small plate. To be truthful I shouldn't have eaten anything I was still nauseous. I hung around for a bit and barfed in the living room. Felt miserable as sin as I thought I was ruining it for everyone else. Went back in after the main course and sat sipping water. Jean and Ally had made a Yule log for alternative non Christmas pudding eaters (Me and Ally). About 4 we set off for my sisters house in Culcheth (30 minutes drive away) and part 2.

Christmas Eve

Jean had to work today, Colin took Hannah out for her birthday lunch and Ally joined em. I was off to Franks for a a dose of pre Christmas Therapy(Barber not Doctor). Frank always makes me feel better, even Peter his miniscule assistant commented on the change in my appearance. Took Frank a bottle of white wine, my traditional gift to him. Went to the gym afterwards - halfway through my workout I realised I had to back for three, bombed home in time to catch Ruth and give her the pressies. Ruth Jean and their Mum traditionally visit Auntie Margies on Christmas Eve, She was the lady who died last week. Ally saw some of Miracle on 34th Street before she went out and realised that was all she needed to make her feel Christmassy.The nightime was about wrapping pressies - and worrying that I hadn't got Jean enough.

Nearly a week since last I blogged

I've been too busy what with Christmas and all that I'll try and offer a retrospective view of what happened. I have just been to the gym and been weighed - lost a stone since 17/12. Total weight loss now 9.5 stone. Absolutely made up.

Monday

Dropped Ally off at Hannahs went to Matchworks for the Christmas finger buffet. Very pleasant and saw several people I havent seen for a while. Forgot to get a haircut but what the hell - I'll try tomorrow.

Sunday

Well slept in, felt tired barfed after Brekkie, felt worse went back to sleep. Walked to the shops and back again Spoke to Ali Lee, feeling a bit better. Trying to get things in focus and keep on top of them.

Sunday night what happened to the last few days??

The last week has not been good - lots of negative feelings, food and christmas seem linked to me - probably washed down with ample beverages as well. Its been getting me down. though I have changed I haven't got my head round this yet. Being the size I was I played a role round mein host and bon viveur. Believe me we did a mean christmas dinner here. Its all the trimmings I want, stuffings (at least 4 types), sausages bacon, the ordinary stuff was good too. Honey glazed parsnips, my roasties are mean, and I can't mention the gravy. Plus the canapes, aperitifs, wines, liquers, port and numerous chocolates. Whilst I am made up at losing this weight I miss all that. Also I dont think me eating tiny amounts then wretching and barfing adds much to the Christmas experience. So thats where I am at up, and down sums it up well. Still trying to get on and I am convinvced that the operation was a) right for me and b) the right thing to do and c) a success. I'll try and pick over the last few days see what I've done.
Wednesday night went to Winwick Club - we won the quiz Mike, Margaret, Ian and Phil and I. I stayed out late and enjoyed myself.
Thursday - Was the Curry Club night out - I joined them for a drink in the dispensary then taxied up to Childwall to meet the staff from Taggart who had a good night out at Owens restaurant. I must confess to not being sober.
Friday Jean was off, Ally finished at noon. Sam came round to talk about work. I was energised by her enthusiasm and all she and the team have achieved. I felt like going back and starting work that afternoon. I cried off the Matchworks night out, I was going to go for a drink but didnt feel up to meeting so many people.
Saturday - slow day and started to get things together for Christmas found a good site Matt Granger A young Aussie lad (aged 21) who weighed more than me and has certainly made a transformation.

Wednesday Night

Didnt feel any better - couldnt sleep due to belly ache and dyspepsia. Feeling down and miserable, just had a post from the surgery support group telling me post op depression is common. Planned to go to work but didn't make it. Jean went to Margies funeral today. Got weighed at the gym 8st 6lb lost.

Tuesday Morning

Monday was a bad day, I hardly slept on Sunday night and spent most of yesterday dozing. Guts still aren't 100% this morning. Need to get my act together and head for the gym. DVD player broke so I need to go and buy a new one. Feeling pretty fed up today, constant dyspepsia and difficult to motivate.
More blogging later if I feel better.

Sunday night

Good time with Archie, Tesco delivery straightforward. Got on with coming - chicken with sweet and sour sauce and Murghi Rasedar - a chicken curry adapted from Madhaur Jaffrey 20 years ago. All went down well today, tidying the house more than the last three months was tough but it was needed before christmas. I had some curry juice and drank it as soup. Egg mayo sarney for tea, with crusts - so that came back to see me. DVD player playing up so not good news. Heard from Marta one of my American friends who continues to make progress.

Saturday morning

Busy day yesterday went to see Val to discuss my staged return to work, it was exciting and felt as good as starting a new job. There was a couple of projects with my name against them and I'll tell more when they are firmed up. I had lunch at the matchworks and then headed to Hammy House to see Fran for 2. We discussed primary care for about an hour and it almost felt like things were getting like work again. I picked my mother up from my Nans at 5.30 and took her home. Jean was off out for another Christmas party at Anfield football ground. As usual for a large Christmas night out the food was poor and the service worse.Ally and I dossed around the house doing our own things. I recovered some data off a floppy that had been reformatted (aren't I clever).
Saturday early on saw our annual pilgrimage to williams garden centre for a Christmas tree. Jean was dissapointed that she only managed to spend 56 quid despite her best efforts. I went to the gym after that where I was made up to complete 30 minutes cardiovascular training for the first time. Ali Lee is brinnging round Archie for us to mind and our Ally is off to a party. We have decided to do the christmas tree tomorrow as we are providing lunch tomorrow so I'll be busy cooking this pm. Tesco home delivery is cominglate they have already rang to apologise

Friday 13th

Anyone superstitious - no me neither. Yesterday was busy. I got to Tesco before 9 I wanted to buy Frank a christmas gift, champagne seemed appropriate. The wine aisle is a strange place at that time of the morning. One poor guy had two bottles of table wine and a Daily Star, £4.35. He wrapped the wine up in the paper, but I ended up behind him in the checkout. The front of the surgery is being altered and the path was all dug up, had to enter through the old front door. Frank was on top form, he seemed pleased with my progress and said I can go back to work anytime now, just negotiate the terms with my boss Val. Popped in to see mum and her dog on the way home. I had gone in my gym clothes with shorts underneath my long sweat pants. Twice these shorts ended up at my knees, so I returned home and donned some of my alternative boxer shorts and worked out with long trousers on. Although my dignity was preserved at all times the feeling of your shorts heading south is disconcerting to say the least. I had a good workout with 6 minutes extra cardiovascular work. I am aiming for 30 mins total by the end of January. Today I did 24.
I met Stella and Ann for lunch in the gym restaurant - I had liquidised wintervegetable soup, not sure what was in it though. Jean went out for an Indian and a few drinks with people from work. I was jealous, I really miss Indian food.

Thursday morning

After running the girls around yesterday I went to the post office and stopped in at Childwall Park Avenue. A full house there - Chris, Karen, Veronica, Scott, Paul, Jane, Evelyn and Sam. I felt a bit last popping in for a cup of tea but I also think exposing myself to work is good.( As opposed to at church). Jean got home late afternoon and she was exhausted so Ally and I went shopping whilst she caught some zeds. I almost enjoyed it. Some new clothes were delivered and I had to put them on. 8 inches less in the waist ( and still a tad too big). We raised a glass to Margie in the evening, I started on beer but found even the none fizzy real ale difficult. I settled for a glass of red wine washed down by a liberal amount of water.I also had my first sandwich - I don't seem to find bread a problem apart from the 20 minutes immediatly after ingestion when I burp and threaten to barf but hang on to the nutrients. Busy times today, Frank the GP at 9.30, gym and then meeting Stella and Ann for lunch at the gym restaurant. All go or what?

Thursday AM

I didn't blog at all yesterday. Jeans auntie Margie died just after noon. I was busy looking for my wife and driving her and her sister to the house.

Tuesday Morning

Went to see Veronica at CPA yesterday afternoon. Met Chris the new health visitor and Shirley the district nurse. Veronica has achieved loads in her project and it was good to see something I was involved in doing so well. I had forgotten how complex the work environment was and after an hour my head was spinning. Still it helped ease me back in and start to get a handle on things. I was a bit ill after and it stopped me going out, so I spent the rest of the night half dozing on the couch. Dead Ringers (BBC2) was loads better on the radio - it should have stayed there.
Tuesday means gym, in a radical change with tradition I am going to go after lunch, and then pick Ally and the girls up. Christmas presents are starting to arrive, I have become quite friendly with the Omega Securicor delivery man. I think he used to be a weatherman - he always comments today it was ********Baltic mate.

Monday Morning

After church popped in to see mother and lunched at home tried out my new gruelling workout at the gym which I thoroughly enjoyed. Visited by sister Mary and then I went out for a walk to the shops - nothing to buy just for the hell of it. Sick after tea, put down to a piece of badly chewed leek, which I still deny eating. Woke up this morning with the effects of my new exercises, the lat pull down and vertical row making my back ache.

Brian Rix

I made it to church - it was good, the speaker Bill Bygroves was excellent, the congregation seemed young and vibrant, and I recognised a few people in there as well. All was fine till after it finished and on leaving for a cup of tea, my kecks fell down. Not just slipped off the top of my bum or dangled at my knees, but all the way down. I was struck by the whiteness of my legs and the blackness of my socks. I demonstrated the new agility by dropping to my knees and recovering them all without breathing, time was going sloooow at this point. I wonder how many people noticed, and if I'll be allowed in again next week. Went for a cup of tea and regained my nerves, exited slowly with hands in pocket.

Sunday Morning

Still ain't been sick for ages.Ali and Archie visited yesterday. What a good time we had, playing with an 11 month old fills me with joy., though he did have vegetable korma babyfood from a jar which filled me with envy. We went to the Christmas Fair at Ally's primary school. What a delight - though the tea was fine. Back to ours and Archie fell asleep on my knee - how peaceful. Workplaces should have small children strategically installed for calming purposes. Later I picked mum up from Nanny Banks' and did the shopping in Somerfield trip. They had run out of my favourite soup so off to Tesco as well .A quiet Saturday night in then as Jean was out visiting her Auntie.

Saturday Morning

Didn't have time yesterday, tut tut tut. Thursday went fine all food staying in its appointed place. I feel a strange sense of dietary contentment. Woke up late on Friday morning - and rushed to get in the matchworks for 12. A lot of folk were busy when I arrived, I spoke to Neil the singing podiatrist and PEC member (he has lost three stone and looks good). He wanted to know what Christingle was all about. After a bit of digging on Google I found this "The Christingle is a custom that originated in the Moravian Church in 1747 and seeks to symbolise and celebrate the creation of the earth, its seasons, and the life of Jesus Christ showing Him to be the world's true light." Which sounds to have a very pagan basis to me. I also found this link which suggests its more about making money for this charity. I also spoke to Lyn who is doing some work around the intranet for South Liverpool PCT. I met the usual crowd over lunch, Sandra. Ali B., Ali P rushing off to a meeting, Andrea and Sheila and a cast of thousands. I hung around for about two hours like a bad smell. Before being engaged in some work by Linda from Finance, felt useful for a bit.Gave lyn a lift back to Hammy house, mostly to talk about the intranet developments. Picked mummy up from Nanny Banks at 5.30, they were late, they had been for Nannys pension and scored on some cheap lager on the way back. So my mothers efforts to push the wheelchair were hampered by he 24 can tray of lager she was carrying. Nanny couldn't hold the beer as she had the stash of spirits on her knee. It was bitterly cold as well. Where Nanny lives is rough a row of proud Victorian terraces off Kensington - undoubtedly the roughest part of town. It is the litter and dog dirt capital of the universe as well. Drug dealing is a frequent sight as are burnt out cars. It has all recently been renovated but its still rough.Some helpful children had took the lid off the fire hydrant. Which in good citizen mode I decided to replace. I struggled to my knees tottered and then fell over - with a thud, accompanied by a scream from Nanny sitting helpless abandoned in the wheelchair. I hurt my hip knee and hands - good citizenship a bad thing it seems. Took mother home and went to mother in laws after tea. Not before eating smoked trout and bread, not exactly a sandwich but getting there.Ally went to a disco and I fell asleep downstairs.

Thursday 3pm - stop press

Just got back from the gym been weighed - lost 8 stone since the op 3 months and one day ago. I am going to have some fruit to celebrate.

Thursday

After all the optimism of Tuesday night I spent most of yesterday barfing. Not impressed. Didnt go out last night, Jeans auntie who has been ill took a turn for the worse. Jean took her mum to see her. Ally and I chiled out at home, tesco delivered the groceries. I note the home delivery now comes from the Old Swan store(formerly it was Allerton). They missed out five items - two of which were marked high value items on the invoice. Cointreau, Vodka and three bottles of shiraz on special offer. 40 quids worth. 20 minutes in a hold queue and they promised to ring the store and get back tous. Which they didnt, another 10 mins in the hold q, before putting down the phone in frustration. Save an hour by doing your shopping online and waste most of it on the phone trying to get it sorted. Theres the bell, ah Mr Tesco man. Holding a bottle of cointreau, he knows nothing about the vodka and the shiraz. "We have merged with with Allerton and its a bit of a mess, I shall be getting some sort of refund for this. Jean is off today and she has gone to Gemini park at Warrington for more Christmas shopping. Just been on the phone refund half the delivery charge and credit to my debit card account ......what a mess I think I'll try Sainsburys next

Wednesday Morning

The Crowne Plaza thing was strange, I arrived early and met Janine (I think) an acting practice manager from Birkenhead. We were then joined by Ron Bob and Paul from Hammy House. The lunch looked mediocre, sort of hot buffet, I surprised myself by assertively asking for liquidised soup. It was produced and drank about half of it. Had a good natter with Bob, poor Janine must have been bored solid.The presentation was very slick it was by a company called Cerner. Basically they want all the hospitals and GP's to have the same system and thus accomplish shared records with a stroke. Seemed very good but the culture change required overawed me. I also had nightmares about the size of GP's inboxes after the change. Even if we said yes tomorrow then it would take 33 months to implement so not an immediate worry. The interesting bit is how we get from here to there. The presentation team was international and the schmooze was flowing.
I got home around five - exhausted. We were in such a rush that Jean went to the chipshop, I had four chips and some chicken foo yung. They were delicious and I didn't barf. A quick visit to the mother in laws preceded my visit to the out patients at Aintree to see Mr Kerrigan.
I arrived at ten to eight (appt at 8), the 7.30 had DNA'd. Got weighed only about 300g difference from the gym scales. Got into see him at 8.15. Took him some pictures of me to put in my case notes and showed him my exercise routine (a printout not the real thing). He was made up with the weight loss and gym progress. We had a long talk about the vomiting and what to do. The fact it has subsided in the last four days has persuaded me to do nothing but he imparted some good information and practical advice. The opening from my new pouch is 1.4cm diameter, and we talked about food likely to block it, chicken, steak, broccoli. We also talked about when it gets blocked you get vomiting, which if frequent can lead to the "ring" becoming oedematous and you barfing even fluids. Which looking back has happened a couple of times he said the trick is to rest the pouch by taking fluids to maintain hydration, but resting the pouch. So 5mls of water every 10 minutes for 2 days followed by two days of clear fluids, then 2 days post op diet and something else giving your belly a rest for a week. (I'll have to check the details with Jean) . Seems practical but totally undesirable. The other options he offered were a barium swallow and gastroscopy to assess if the outlet had become too small, and leading to dilatation with a balloon if this was the case. Given the last four days we agreed that - I would continue as is, use the 5ml regime if things went bad again and contact his secretary Lorraine for fast tracking for swallow and scope. Seems a good plan to me and I always feel better with a plan and a way out if it goes wrong. He has read the blog a few times and said it opened his eyes to what a bad time people could have. He is still keen to press on with the website for patient information which I said I would help him develop.. He took blood for the usual things plus magnesium, zinc, fat soluble vitamins and will let me know if we need to to do anything. Blood was difficult to get and he ended up doing it. It turns out I used to work with his wife many moons ago when I was a charge nurse in Psychiatry at the Royal - small world. I left at 9.25 feeling heaps better - so did Jean, but Ally who was waiting outside was not best pleased.

Tuesday - big day

Off to a presentation at the Crowne Plaza hotel later. I'm a bit nervous really. Feels like the first serious thing I have done for months. Outpatients this evening, something seems to have clicked in the last few days and I feel heaps better, and am keeping down normal food. I think I need to see the dietitian though as I am sure I am not getting enough protein. How do I tell if I have excess hairloss - it's all headed south anyway. Got another e-mail from Patti my new transatlantic weight loss contact - she rises lots of interesting issues around the way people treat her different since she lost weight. I went to the gym yesterday and increased my regime still further - another minute on each cardiovascular exercise and more weight on the exercises. I feel good at the minute though my legs are stiff this morning from the new leg extension exercises.

Monday Morning

Cold wet windy and a definite stay in bed sort of morning so I got up early (by my standards). Must done some work on the people skills essay this morning. Eat real food last night and only barfed a bit.Still managed to miss the Christingle service. Tied to the house today waiting for man to pick up the chair. Monday means picking Ally and her friends up from school. Feeling the cold today I must go and put another layer on. Not much profound to say today. 940 visits to the blog last month - sounds ok to me.

Sunday night

More bad sleep and late rising so missed Church at Bridge Chapel. Planned to visit Christingle service at the Parish but prevented by barfing. Sleeping pills tonight I think. Started essay for college things are looking serious now. Reviewed Christmas present situation and decided there wasn't enough. So ordered more stuff from Amazon, Boots Thorntons and a couple of surprise things for Jean. This week ahead will be mostly about finishing college work. Gym visits and hospital visit will be included and attendance at a conference for a couple of hours on Tuesday Afternoon. Got an email from Patti from Pennsylvania, who has lost over 200lbs since July 2001 and stumbled across the blog.

Saturday afternoon now

I love the blog apart from when I lose material I have just painstakingly typed. It seems to happen so often I think its a design fault. Sometimes software seems to be designed for people who never make mistakes. I had a bad nights sleep last night, during the time I was lying awake I managed to sort out some fundamental truths about my job and the essay plans. Unfortunately when I woke up it had gone, all evaporated. I woke up late and feeling rough. The Amazon order finally completed today - three phonecalls and three parcels later. We seemed to have gained a copy of Oceans Eleven in VHS if anyones interested. Last night I got into one of those states where I was really up the pole but couldn't explain why. People telling me to calm down doesn't help it seems I am short of sugar or something. I don't know what's happening and I don't like it.

grrrrrrr - just lost two paragraphs again

New picture

New picture added

Friday AM

Visited by Val and Mary last night. Basically return to work plan on hold till I see the surgeon next week. I took two sleeping pills and a bowl of custard before going to sleep last night. Worked a treat I slept like a log. The big chair we rented for me is redundant - we tried to get it in the car but it wont fit so is being picked up on Monday. I don't know what Jean has planned for me today. She is busying herself in the garden whilst I skive here soaking up the rays of my light therapy.

Still teatime

Have I mentioned I am not sleeping very well - no specific reasons. My book suggests hypoglycaemia as a possible cause -hmmm. I lie there thinking about food that I cant have. Last night it was sausage sandwiches with tommy K and mustard.

Thursday Teatime

The girls are downstairs eating fish and chips, part of our empty the freezer before Christmas campaign. I am staying out of the way till all evidence is gone. Before having my tasty soup. What a day today, got up late and required a change of plan. Went to get my mum and took her to costco. I was really pleased with my endurance pushing the trolley round. I spent £100 and didn't seem to get much. Got a couple of surprises for Al and one for Jean, and some bingo prizes for christmas night (don't ask- I'll say more nearer the time). Stopped of at ours on the way back then took Mummy home. Headed for the gym where I had a good workout - lost more weight total loss now at 105.7lbs (over 7.5 stones). The Amazon parcel arrived and it was wrong again - not impressed. Later my sister (our mary, or Minty as she is known) is visiting around the same time as my boss Val. Mary used to hit me when I was little, to be fair I deserved it all and probably more, its left me with a healthy respect for older women. She used to do this cunning trick where she would hold my wrist and slap my face with my hand, whilst shouting "stop hitting yourself." Any marks left bore the small boys handprint - I got my own back by refusing to go out when she was a teenager and had boyfriends round. Could the two things be linked. I love her now anyway even if she does look 10 years younger than me. As an aside my Mum (well known for malapropisms), has had a letter from the Salivation Army asking for help.

Wednesday later

Been a busy boy today - out at the crack of dawn (9.30) for a haircut. Back home, ablute, and then off to Matchworks to see the prescribing team. Also saw quite a few others and had a natter with Eileen. Then off to Childwall Park Avenue where I had some tea with Sam, Paul, KAren and Veronica. Met Scott our new facilitator. Felt like I was part of something.

Wednesday afternoon

Went to Greenbank for lunch with Sandra and Gail, after my workout, saw Ali butt and Sharon there.Soup was a choice - Tomato and Basil or spicy sweetcorn. Sweetcorn was a bit too hot for me and I could only manage four spoons. Had a good laugh and concluded I would not be going to the christmas night out. Me not eating must be offputting for others. Went to mossley hill afterwards where Karen helped me with a load of material for my college assignment. Amazon order arrived with half the stuff missing, rang em no probs on its way and mucho apologies.
Sick Tuesday night as well - getting sick of sick now.

Tuesday night.

Monday seems a long time ago now. I went into Hammy House ostensibly to use the library but ended up talking to people. first stop was the LIS team for Adam, Val and Jo. Then next door to see statler and waldorf (aka John and Ron). Then I eventually checked out the library, seeing Tracey and Kieran. Intercepted in reception by Fran and Paul and off to pick Ally up from school. Bit hectic a traffic warden was dishing out tickets and advice to all and sundry.
Evening meal was a nightmare I had four spoons of mashed sausage and beans (by heinz) and was violently sick. Felt worn out for the rest of the night.

Just typed a load of stuff about yesterday and lost it. then I looked out the window and somebody has swiped the hubcaps off my car. I am not happy.

Monday am

Didn't get to church yesterday, had a vomitting attack followed by two hours sleep. Bit dissapointed. Came round in the afternoon and felt better. Went for a walk to the local shops (uphill) and felt great that I did it without stopping. Made the foolish mistake of checking my emails at work last night. I managed to delete 180 without reading them, these included 70 messages from the server telling me my account was over limit, 20 mails telling me the price of fruit on sale in a building I no longer work in, 7 messages from the same place asking if I was the person who had requested a fax. 10 messages telling me not to use a certain system, and 10 telling me it was ok now.What a load of old tosh, no wonder people with a life get frustrated by email. I shall start a campaign to cut the crap on my return to work.

Sunday Morning

Weight loss score from yesterday - 102.52 pounds lost - that = 7.32 stones 46.62 kilos since the op. 4.73 pounds since Tuesday. Did my christmas shopping last night Amazon and Play247.com , I just need to pick a few things up from the Speke retail park and I will be sorted. The greengrocers at the end of the road has got real Christmas trees in all ready - TOO SOON.

Post script

Time for another picture tomorrow I think - after I have been to church.

Saturday night

Another late instalment at the blogshop.
I went into work at the matchworks yesterday, I was nervous but it felt ok. Saw loads of people and got loads of positive feedback. Met Emma, Sandra, Angela, Alison, Olive, the receptionists,and Jan. Saw Kate, Alan and the finance team, and a lot of new faces. Quite a few people were away so I figured it was a good time to go in. Ali Butt, who was on my table is with child and in top form. She asked me to try to get some info of a corrupt disk. I took it home and sorted it, job done. I was going to post it back but as there is some patient data I'll take it in. I was there for two hours all told and it felt (I felt) a lot easier at the end. Nearly lost my kecks in the Director of Public Healths office, they were tight on Sunday. I may need to invest in braces- or a good lawyer. Saturday brought a rewarding visit to the gym. There was only two of us in a hockey playing soprano barrister and me. She is singing in Mahlers third tonight at the Phil (impressive or what). I got weighed and have lost more weight. Added some more stuff to my workout and still enjoy it.

Friday morning

Friday again Jean is off work today and has taken her Mother to Prescot for Christmas shopping. I managed to avoid this by going to work at lunchtime. Don't worry its only a social call. Frank said it would make my return to work easier, I discussed it with Val my boss last night and she thinks it is a good idea. I must confess to feeling slightly anxious about it, but today will be a good day as a lot of people are out. I am going at lunchtime but I will just have a cup of tea, I don't want to chuck up on my first visit. I never really got established there before going off on the sick, so it feels a bit strange. What to wear seems to be causing problems too. Last night I bought some kecks on ebay, brand new five pound a pair - we'll see what they are like. I got pairs in the next two sizes down. how is that for forward planning. Trousers for me at the big mans shop come in at around 45-50 quid. A fascinating section the other-clothing-plus sizes-menswear section, a fine selection of transvestite gear is available online, not for me I don't think.

Thusday Morning

Up early to see to Frank, whipped round to mothers after that. Went to the gym barfed again. Did a workout and met a new member of staff called Eva(or Ava), a charming Belgian. Si and I were trying to remember the names of famous Belgians, how many could you get? not more than 4 I'll wager. Sam visited after lunch for further lessons in how to be an Evertonian. Went to get a haircut but Franks was mad busy with only one chair operative so I nipped to Somerfield, a rather downmarket grocery store. Whilst perusing the aisles my crutch became possessed and knocked four jars of curry cook in sauce on to the floor. Good news only three broke.

Wednesday night

Vomit returns, my egg mayonnaise and mashed potato was just too good. I brought it back, first time for six days though. Settled after an hour and went to the quiz night at Winwick. Impressed myself by remembering the name of the actor who played Sandy Richardson in Crossroads. Disappointed myself by not remembering anything else.

Wednesday morning

Up before the crack of dawn. A new plan, get up and awake before Jean goes out and get carbohydrates on board. Painful but effective I think. Might even do some college work this morning. Ally still off sick, her chest still sounds awful. I have asked her to write her Christmas present list today, I need to place a big Amazon order and get that sorted out. Think I'll e-mail Mr Kerrigan today tell him I have lost all but seven stone - I am pleased.

Midnight Tuesday

What a weird day, should have been meeting Sandra for lunch at the gym restaurant. Had a strange dizzy/faint attack. I was getting wound up about being late, when all of a sudden my legs gave way. It was weird I don't think I fully lost consciousness but I was not fully aware of my surroundings. Several people have said this is inevitable given what I am not eating. Ally panicked, poor thing called my mum and Jean. I woke up feeling like I had a bad hangover, but was right as rain after some soup. Weird. Got to the gym about 5pm, which is a totally different crowd to the laidback sick/retired people I usually workout with. There were some serious athletes there with trainers and all sorts. I enjoyed my work out and got weighed after the session - 2.25 kilos in a week, total loss now = 44.45kg, 97.79pounds or 6.99 stone (I am calling it seven) that's in 12 weeks. I am made up. Looked through my wardrobe when I got home and found three pairs of trousers I have not worn for ages. Well pleased. More pictures required tomorrow, and I fixed the link on the website. Got an email from Lesley an ex-scouser who has had surgery and happened across the blog.

Monday Morning

Yesterday was the best day I have had since the op. I still ain't been sick since Thursday, and subsequently feel a whole lot more alive. Sunday went well, started off in the gym, with a good workout. Lunch at Ruth and Pauls where I had baked potato cheese sauce and leeks liquidised, it was delicious. Back home then for a visit from Mary and John (sister and brother in law). All agree I'm looking well. I put shirt tie and trousers on again and looked far more human. My trousers now reach just below my nipples in a crazy old man style. Jean has forbidden me from doing this, as I look very sad. Went to Ruth and Toms after tea (cock-a-leekie soup) and had a good laugh with Ruth Ruth Paul Tom Alan Hazel and Dave. My second night out in two months. I did get a bit excited at so large an audience after 2 months playing only to small gigs. Stayed out till nearly five to ten then home in time to watch the shield on channel five. Slept very well, though did wake up with paralysed arms. An after effect of the gym which only lasted for seconds. I am also back sleeping on my stomach which is my favourite position.
Monday - well Ally is off school again, her chest sounds foul. Veronica is visiting at lunchtime otherwise a quiet day.

Sunday Morning

Bit of an update :- Paul and I got the bed sorted eventually - what a mess, I may well be writing to Mr Craftmatic to give him a piece of my mind. We got the nuts lined up and then the brackets to fit the sides on needed new holes drilling. Took us the best part of two hours. Good news the Tivo is fully working - I am impressed. I went out last night, Ally goes to the millennium school of dance, and last night was their Christmas show. Last year it went on to long, and drove me mad, it was in a community centre in Hough Green. This year it was in the Queens Hall Widnes, almost a proper theatre like with a balcony. I know the formula for these shows - the bit with your kid is great, the rest some what mediocre, I was a reluctant attendee but three pound paid I saddled up. I got dressed up too, shirt, tie and pants, I thought the casual gym look I have recently adopted was inappropriate. If I say so myself I looked fairly good. It was a pity the rest of the audience were wearing shell suits and jeans. Still the chance to wear work like clothes and feel how loose they were was good for me. We arrived ridiculously early (as always) and bagged a good seat. The night before the commitments were playing, I liked that film. Next big attraction is the panto starring b-list celebs from Brookie and Neighbours. The dance show was good, I am prevented from being negative by my censors Jean and Ally, I am not even allowed to criticise the audience. Ally was made up this morning when I told her that she was treading a stage where both the Beatles and Johnny Vegas had performed.
As an aside the anti-sickness package is still working I feel loads better.
Today well the gym, lunch at Ruth and Pauls, visit from my sister then a few drinks for them that can at Ruth and Toms. Somehow next week I will fit in a visit to a local church. I need to start going again regularly and need a place to join.

Saturday Morning

48 hours since the V word and feeling a lot more alive and positive in outlook. Went to the tip yesterday, and Jean picked up some stuff from Woolies on the way home.Tried to get a haircut but it was way too busy so contented myself with brushing leaves instead. I am becoming something of an expert now. Ali P called in the afternoon, good to see her she spoke a lot of sense - as usual. She is covering for me while I am away and that makes me feel better. Went off to pick my mum up from my nans where I was greeted with chaos. Nan has just bought one of these fancy adjustable beds, but she needs one cot side fitting to allow her to turn herself over. The firm have sent her the cot sides and fitting stuff and 50 quid to get someone to do it. Surely they should have a local engineer? So Paul my DIY proficient brother in law and I embark on trying to fix it. After studying the plans for 15 minutes I conclude its a straightforward job. Which was the kiss of death - the nuts were of a special locking type and were terrible to tighten. We return today with more tools. The Tivo helpline concluded I need a new gizmo, so I felt better I had set it up right. I shall get on to that today.

Friday morning

24 hours without vomit I feel better already. Jean is off work today, she is just going to work 4 days between now and Christmas. I think we need to take a trip to the tip today. Then we'll need to have a serious look at our Christmas present list. I felt the effects of my increased workout this morning, my back is stiff and a other joints are a little achey too. Still its beginning to feel more like a workout, and Jack said I can go on the bike next week. Expecting Ali P from work this pm, Frank said yesterday I should visit work to see how it feels and get over the hurdle of going back there. I shall seek advice today.

Thursday Night

Bit of a late Blog for me, Franks new regime seems to be working well, all food all medicine staying where it should. Two unannounced visitors today, Kieran from the Library bearing articles. Followed by Dave from the north, an ex-member of the Primary Care Informatics Team I used to manage. Spoke to the Tivo helpline and its nearly working. Bought the girls a packet of rolo muffins, I was driven upstairs by the overpowering chocolatey smell.

Thursday PM

Went to see GP Frank - what a star, I have total respect for him. He has come up with a plan to counteract the way I feel because of my repeated vomitting. I guess I have not held down my medication for about a week. This has led to a resurgence in belly ache, joint pains and feelings of depression. Back to sloppy diet which I was tolerating well. New antiemetic regime of medicine to be started. Break tasks up into small chunks, rather than letting the very size of them overwhelm me. All sound advice which I need to follow. Stop worrying about work was his other gem. Still I feel loads more positive after seeing him, and I went off to the gym where I increased my exercise programme under the advice of Jack. Feels more like it now.

Thursday Am

Managed to sleep surprisingly well considering I spent the day in bed. Up at 8.20 - and it is still dark - this can't be right. Got to get some food in me before I get off to the Doctors, also need to take him the draft of a note about excuse note for college. Plan to go straight to the gym after seeing Frank, though I may pop into my mums on the way there. In Tesco the other day we became separated so she took to stopping strangers telling them she had lost her son. He has had an operation and lost so much weight I probably can't see him she said.Cringe factor 10

Wednesday

Watched Star Wars episode 2 last night and enjoyed it, was sick several times which didn't add anything to the overall performance. Nausea and vomiting carried over to Wednesday Morning. Couldn't get in to see Frank - Advanced access brilliant or what. Frank rang at lunchtime and I arranged to see him at 9.30 tomorrow. By the way I got weighed yesterday. Total weight loss now 92 pounds, or 6stone 8lbs or 42.2 kg. Just had three of these anti nausea tablets and I plan to lie in bed feeling yuk.

Tuesday

I got my act together, got hydrated, had a bath, put on some baggy clothes and I was out. Sat with Ian, John and Mike in Winwick Club, watching the domino and card players. We reminisced about times at Winwick, heard the news about who had died and who had cancer or had been divorced.
Tuesday Am- Star Wars has arrived, Ally is still off school, its grey and dark here, trying to workout how I can get to the gym and do my other chores.

Monday Evening

All this talk of food must have upset me - I was sick after lunch, in a major way. I guess salmon and watercress pate did not agree with me. Feeling pretty dehydrated on waking up , going to have work very hard to get my act together to go out tonight. Ally was worried about me and rang Jean twice while I was being sick. I am OK though a little disheartened.

Monday Afternoon

Thanks to Gail from the matchworks for pointing out that Vesta meals are still available and good to eat. A search in online tesco store reveals paella, risotto, beef curry and chow mein available at 1.55 each. I shall look forward to trying the paella again.

Monday Monday

Quiet day yesterday but major progress made on sorting out bedrooms, and returning the dining room to its normal function. Spoke to my Sister about the plan for Christmas Day, I think we may have a workable plan. No sickness at all yesterday, have I turned a corner? I had Mediterranean lamb shank and cauliflower for lunch.Heinz ravioli in a tin for my tea. I definitely have this desire to eat foods from my youth. I used to think spaghetti was a vegetable, when I was young. We always had it as an accompaniment to a main course. I was most shocked to find out that spaghetti was in fact a staple and that it was really almost 12 inches long. I think I may have to have pasta for tea tonight. Does anyone remember Vesta dishes? Mysteries in a box, dried meals in the seventies with pictures of their ingredients on the front of the packet with a numbered key. Paella was my favourite (only one pan), beef and chicken curries were tops too, though a bit much in the way of fruit for my taste. Chow mein was exciting, it had a tin of waterchestnuts, or bamboo shoots and a little packet of crispy noodles to fry. Vesta meals still available from here. How bizarre, Ally is not well today and is off sick. we are both gutted that the new star wars DVD hasn't arrived today as promised.

Sunday morning

Yesterday was pretty good food wise, kept things down, which is a good thing. Ally from work rang up and came round with Archie her 10 month old son. What a delight he is, I had forgotten how much I liked children. We looked after him for a bit while Ally went shopping and he fell asleep on my knee watching the jungle book. I enjoyed the film, and this is how being a grandad must feel. All the nice bits and no hassle. Ruth Paul and Catherine arrived and Jean and Paul set about the wardrobe. They only got it slightly wrong, but the instructions were awful. Catherines boyfriend Ryan is in a band, they were playing at the Cavern in Liverpool last night.
Ally (daughter) has a fine productive cough today and so is not going to guides church parade. I'll be off to the gym when light therapy and ablutions are complete. This afternoon probably involves more tidying.

Saturday Morning

Finally go my sleep in crawled out of the pit about 11.20, could have stayed a lot longer I think. Ally has gone to an all day rehearsal of her Dance schools musical treat "Oliver". I've lots to do today and getting up late hasn't helped any of that. I feel a lot better stomach wise only two very minor barfs yesterday. I am beginning to feel guilty about work, I am so up and down that when I feel good, I think I could go to work and when I feel bad I realise there isn't a chance. I will have a long talk to Frank about it next week - if I can get in to see him. Whenever I see anyone I always put on my best show and they must think god he looks well. I'll also have to talk to Val my boss see if there is a way I can gradually start reintroducing work at a very slow pace.Tivo is good, but still needs some final tweaks, after I have done them I can rearrange the living room furniture.

Friday

Late blog - been mad busy today, first of all the man called to fix the Cable he tried three new digiboxes before he got one that worked. I was visited by then by Sam, who is helping me convert to being an Evertonian. Which may not be that hard, I was brought up in that camp and have been an agnostic most of my adult life. The afternoon was spent playing with my Tivo box, what fun, playing with gadgets and disrupting the whole house.

Thursday PM

Cablemans been fixed it now its broke again. Couldn't get weighed at the gym - battery was flat on the scale - more news Saturday.

Thursday morning

Planned a late start, foiled by delivery men leaving a parcel for next door but one. A busy day today - cable TV guy due 10-12 (10 minutes to go). Allys new wardrobe from MFI (inevitably self assembly), and TIVO delivered. I have to fit the gym in as well could be difficult. Frank the barber called yesterday to say one of his customers saw him mentioned in the blog. Turns out it was Jane, Veronicas friend, district nurse based in the South. Its a small world. I typed out a bigger entry than this an hour ago and my PC froze and I lost it. Not impressed at all.

wednesdays report

Didn't do much college work - must get more disciplined. I concentrated my efforts on the physical - brushing up leaves from the garden and making the path safe at the front. I was bushed, but in a good sort of way. The man arrived with Ally's bed - self assembly (we don't like that do we) Jean and I managed it though - without any spare bolts left. I took a trip out to Winwick staff club for the quiz in the evening. It was strange being on licensed premises though I didn't like the smell of the beer. I used to really like the Tetley bitter there. I noticed a new product in there last night - Tetley bitter - extra cold, strange as one of the ways to ruin the tets was serve it too cold. The quiz was fun but too hard for someone memory challenged like me. Winwick was a large psychiatric institution 2500 patients, where I started my training in 1979. The main hospital has closed now and replaced with a small acute admissions unit. Its good to go back there and see old friends every now and again. Tony and Margaret the organisers do a sterling job every fortnight. I left early as my bed was calling, driving on the motorway was a bit strange, but the car seemed to enjoy it.

Wednesday PM

Set up a thing so you can rate the blog - just under the archive listing on the left.

Wednesday AM - cont

Tried to get an appt to see the GP but he is off all week, holidays (that doesn't seem like Frank. I am going to take it easy today, waiting in for a delivery of Ally's new bed. I may even do some college work.

Wednesday AM

Yesterdays report:- Went to the gym, continue in my mission to come out to people as a weight loss surgery patient. Met a nice young girl called Kate who has just graduated as a nurse from the Local uni. She knows my mate Mike and says his lectures were always stimulating.. Picked mother up and took her to the planet costco. Strange place, heaving with humanity, I was taken over by the desire to buy products I didn't need, (also experienced in airport duty free shops). Fortunately I couldn't get much in the trolley as mum had filled it with every conceivable household product under the sun. At the checkout, the lady in front had bought hot chickens and they dripped onto the floor. In the ongoing saga of getting it cleaned up she slipped three pairs of tights from her trolley into her handbag. She went on to pay over 200 quid at the checkout, she looked very smart and well turned out, then I noticed her getting into the big black Merc that was illegally parked right outside the store. What's all that about. I don't have a clue.
I then took my mum to a pub on the riverfront called the Britannia. she attempted to buy a sandwich for her sugar (she is diabetic) but ended up with a caramel apple granny, a sort of apple pie with caramel on top (I long ago stopped trying to explain the diet thing to her). She then told everyone what a rip-off it was at 2.85, she really does expect (and often get) a three course meal for that. We played the one arm bandit till she had had enough, she doesn't understand them but loves it when money comes out of the bottom. By the end of this I was exhausted and headed home to watch ER on channel E4. Bad news cable box is broken can't get a tech till Thursday, woe is me. A busy day and retired early for a much needed rest.

Tuesday Morning

Dropped off some forms at Childwall Park Avenue, saw, Sam Paul and Shirley. The setup up there looks ok, though with recent expansion it could be a bit cramped. After that it was off to Tesco for some essentials, back here for a light lunch then off to pick the girls up from school. Something weird happened yesterday - I wasn't sick at all- this is the first day for about 6 weeks - what a good feeling. Perhaps it was the threat of ringing the dietitian that did it. Well today, light therapy, ablutions, gym, pick mother up and take her to costco (not sure what that is about) then taker her out to a pub or something. She likes fruit machines so we have saved up our change to amuse her today. Last night there was a documentary about four women desperate to be slim. Three had drug therapy and one had surgery. She had a lap band fitted laprascopically at St Helens Hospital. Not the same operation at all. I watched with some interest, as always these things are about and aimed at women. I much prefer this a stand up comedian who had a gastric bypass. One or two smiles in here for me.

Monday Morning

Slow start today - I'll get going eventually, I think I look a bit yellow today, Jean says she has noticed it, but could it be a trick of the light. Pain in both feet, which could be gout but I am putting it down to missing my anti-inflammatory pills for a couple of days. I am going to pop up to the local branch of work today to drop off some mileage claim forms. The rest of the week looks quiet after that. There seems to be plenty of leaves to brush up so I may have a go at that as my physical exercise today. I also need to speak to the dietitian about how little food I am getting in me. Got to pick Ally and her friends up later too.

Sunday Morning

The sickness stayed around till about 3pm. Missed the gym plan to go today if I can keep calories down, might see a different crowd on a Sunday morning. After that its off to Ruth and Pauls for Sunday Lunch. Had a movie night in last night, Jean and Ally went to Blockbuster and got two DVD's. One starred Britney Spiers and was called Crossroads, I stayed out of the way of that one. Ally was crying at the sad bits and Jean shed the occasional tear. Not that I am immune to that sort of thing, The Glenn Miller story always does it for me, when they play "Little Brown Jug." We then watched Mulholland Drive - not a film for Mr memory impairment I am afraid. I read the paper, tidied up and went to bed while Jean pressed on to the end. I was relieved to hear that she didn't get it, there were some clues on the blockbuster site but they made little sense to me.

Saturday Morning

I had a lie in this morning, after 10am. Got to get my act together before the gym, first thing cup of tea has led to vomitting - which is unusual. Think I'll postpone gym till after lunchtime. Need some calories inside me. Yesterday was fairly quiet, or I can't remember what happened. Memory still a long way from normal. Have to go ...sick again......

Later that same day

I should have noted the end of the League of Gentlemen series last night, as predicted it all came together, in a rather wonderful way. Straight after on BBC Choice was a "making of" documentary which was tops. Good to see Papa Laz again, "You're my wife now." If all this means nothing ignore it. By the way 1300 Page views of this blog last month, I dont know how many people that is though.

Friday Morning

Up early - 7.20. I had a good day yesterday. Went to the gym in the morning. Got weighed, lost 5 kilos since last Friday, taking the total loss to 85lbs - Just a smidge over six stone. Jack, the gym manager seems pleased, its all going the right way. I met Mark from Central PCT on the way out of the gym, he said I look really well. I'd just done my workout and felt knakkered. Got home and helped Jean pack the car to go the tip. To be fair Jean did most of the loading, lifting things definitely causes me pain. On getting home I felt moved to brush the pavements outside the house. What a lively exercise that is . I had trouble getting the leaves into the bag, bending is not easy, Jean had to help me bag the leaves. Pat the old lady from next door - says that I look like a "proper man" now, I told her I had had a partial gastrectomy. She and her sister are in their nineties, though we don't know how exactly how old. I certainly have more energy now and feel warm and healthily tired afterwards. I did have trouble getting up the stairs afterwards but I put that down to stiffness. A quiet day today, I mean to try and build on my digestive success of yesterday - only one minor vomit. I think I still have to get on top of this.

Thursday Morning

Had a good early part of the day yesterday. John came and finished his jobs around the house. Visited by Kate and Paul at lunchtime, much inspired by their energy, I took the plunge and went to the library. I used to work in Hammy House it is not the nicest building in the world.I think a sort of five floor seventies polytechnic with not much spent in the way of decor best describes it. I notice now that it is in the centre of prime building sites for yuppie flats and student halls, so may not last long. Kieran, Tracey, Mick and Clare were most helpful. I was visited by Janet a former member of my team when I worked there. After that I bumped in to Ali P and Caroline, my counterpart from Central PCT. We went and took tea with Fran and Amanda. Very pleasant, though I nearly fell asleep once. I also saw Ron and John, avid blog followers who are now ensconced in their own office and they reminded me of statler and waldorf, (in the nicest possible way). I had a good time there but was tired afterwards, talking to a group of people in a strange environment may be very tiring. I had boiled egg and toast for tea, and I was sick as a dog afterwards.
Today - Helen my visitor for this PM has cancelled, Jean has taken a days leave to restore order to chez Clare after the decoration. Gym for me, then the tip I think.

Wednesday Morning

Ended up going to Tesco again last night at 9pm - what a different world it is at that time of night - 24 hour shopping - a blessing or what - I still can't decide. Can't get an appointment to see Frank today - due to the advanced access system the practice operate. I hung on the redialling for half an hour to be told the appts have all gone. It seems a good system if you need to see a Doctor quite quickly but a bit last if you need a follow up appt. I needed to see him to discuss if I need an electrolyte replacement thing when I am vomiting. Jean is worried about me managing just on water. I sent him an e-mail instead - lets see what happens. I am going to see if I can get to the library today to see the loopy guy - Kieran.

Tuesday afternoon

Spam is alive and well and living in tesco, along with a few other tinned meats, got some turkey for dinner with some biscuits for cheese - sophisticated or what. Sam has set up a blog go and look at about her love for Everton.

Tuesday Morning and Seasonal Affective Disorder

Last year I convinced myself this was a factor in my seasonal depression. Some details on SAD here. Its all about seasons and mood, the prevention involves sitting in front of a light for at least an hour a day. It helped me last year, yesterday Sam reminded me about this and with the clocks changing I am probably way late in starting but here goes. The Outside in company let you try the products for three months on a no risk basis very good. If winter blues feels like you try this. I was dead impressed.

Tuesday am

Well pleased with a moral victory last night. I had some toast - and kept in down with no discomfort. Granted it was only about 1 inch square but it is in me now. It was delicious beyond description. Maybe a shift in the diet required. The diet sheet says "tinned meat" - 1 slice I wonder what that means. We don't do tinned meat here now. It was a seventies thing I think. Ye old oak ham big pink and covered in jelly, very popular in Christmas hampers. Spam - in a blue and yellow can of course. Plus of course pork luncheon meat and chopped ham with pork - plumrose I think. I think Tesco deli counter has put paid to all them, what a snob I have become. I shall investigate at Tesco this PM. It'll be the aisle with the old folk in, buying stardrops, robin starch, hair clips, nylons, condensed milk and firelighters, that's all we eat in the 70's. I have just checked my calorie book and Spam isn't in, but chopped ham and pork is 23% fat and therefore not a good idea.(note the cunning way I slipped in news of my Collins Gem Calorie Counter -behaviour change or what).

Monday night

Trying to get on top of this blog thing - I wont have much time tomorrow. Carpet cleaners were a cool pair of scally dudes, but a fine job - they have a web site. Sam and Eileen came to see me. Eileen couldn't get over how well I looked and how well I was moving. Sam was just pleased at how well Everton are doing. She was wearing a parka - and informs me this is fashionable (I might be old but I'm not gaga). I checked with Ally later and, it is, of course (and I am). Will work on some more reminiscences, still wondering how the sigmoidoscopy story went down (or up). I'll do some more work on the website tomorrow inbetween gym and stuff. Not saying I'm not fit but I have asked my mum aged 72 to come the tip with me tomorrow. I'll drive she can lift.

Monday morning

I caught Jean reading the blog last night,and laughing, maybe out of pity, I'm not sure. Started to feel better after about 10 last night and feel pretty good this morning. Starting a back to basics food campaign this am, puree and be damned. Carpet cleaners in this morning - I wonder what that will be like, never had it done "professionally." Writing about constipation and bowels has had a laxative effect - so don't worry you have been spared for now. Ally set up a blog over the weekend but she wont tell me the url, I'll beat it out of her later.

Doonesbury - on blogs and blogging

Saw this in the Grauniad - didn't know it was online follow the next date link to see the series, it made me chuckle.

Flexible Sigmoidoscopy.

It's not as nice as it sounds, basically a telescope up your bum. I had it done a few years ago, I had irritable bowel syndrome type stuff but I had convinced myself it was a bowel neoplasm. I should have explained I suffer from hypochondria, but you have probably noticed. I was referred to the Royal Hospital, didn't take long and you were asked to discuss your bowels with a specialist nurse at the start of the procedure. She gave me a questionnaire with about 36 signs and symptoms of bowel disorder on them, I ticked all but one, constipation. I could have chatted to her all day, she was pleasant, charming and genuinely interested in my bowel habits. I don't like to brag -but hey . After that I was dispatched to a room with a couch in, lie on your left side said the nurse, just while I slip this enema in. Hold on this voice is familiar, it is Lesley J,Hannahs mum. This is one of Ally's friends, no way, she's not doing that to me, I made myself known to her, she claimed not to recognise me from behind. How could I engage in polite small talk on the schoolyard after she has done that - no way. She got one of her ex-mates to do me instead. Oh it was a hoot - Hold on to that tightly and relax she said. If I could do that I would be in a circus I suggested - to no-one in particular. Needless to say it worked, and I was nearly at the toilet. That done she gave me a size 8 surgical gown to protect my modesty. Clutching my trainers and jeans I scurried into the next room, obviously for anaesthesia I presumed. No such luck, I was told to put my kecks back on and lie on my left side, just loosen them and drop a bit so we can get the camera in - he said. Turns out he (the surgeon ) is the husband of a girl I work with (I know what they'll be discussing tonight - not). It is the work of moments, he whipped it in, whipped it out and wiped it. Stand up go through this door and you'll hear from your GP in 2 weeks. Obviously the door leads to a darkened room with soft couches where nurses with tea and coffee let you recover in splendour for days. But no, its straight on to the main corridor at the Royal, My zip is stuck and three foot of blue tissue paper extends from the back of my jeans. Hurrah the NHS. I felt like Mr Benn returning after one of his adventures. You can see why I am reluctant to mention bowel symptoms again........

Dilemma!

Do I talk about constipation here or not? Jean said it's ok I have already broken the bowel taboo when I was in hospital. I am worried that once I start I may not stop. I have asked Veronica who is both a nurse and blog follower.

Sunday Morning

Woke up with abdo pain, plan to speak to the dietitian tomorrow about my intake. Yesterday, 1/4 weetabix in milk and 3 x 2 tablespoons of low fat custard, plus cups of tea and water. Doesn't seem enough to me, might need some sort of supplement type thing. Going back to a fully liquidised diet today see can I keep more down. I've learned some lessons in perseverance and patience since I had this op. It is cold here, the wind is blowing a gale, I have taken to wearing a fleece over my pyjamas. Last phase of home improvement tomorrow - carpet cleaning - deep joy. The loopylibrarian in his own proactive way has submitted an image of a 99, not the one I wanted, to be fair he realised this, but I still took the Mick in the e-mail. I think Arsenal must have got beat again, but football is beyond me. I am looking for a computer program with the following features - allows you to monitor daily food intake -returns calorie and protein carbohydrate proportions etc, preferably able to work in handheld as well. I think I had one in a weightwatchers pack I bought a few aeons ago. I threw it out before the op thinking I wont need that again.

Saturday Afternoon

Bit late today - still chucking up for England, I am in one of my water only phases. It got worse yesterday and I ended up taking three Buccastem anti-emetic tablets in bed. Still the sedative effects put me right to sleep. Johns last day decorating and stuff today - only had to go to B&Q twice. He has been unlucky every job seems to have had problems through no fault of his own. I am shattered, I have spent most of the day languishing on the couch in various states of alertness. Feeling a bit better now, every quiet moment is giving over to imagining delicious food, still concentrating on bacon, toast and Dim sum as my most desired objects. Outside the the B&Q I got a bit of an urge for a 99. For the uninitiated its a wafer cone, with very artificial ice cream, raspberry sauce and a chocolate flake. mmmm. I found a sort of image, but it wasn't the classic advertising shot I want.I have to get the loopylibrarian to do a search.
At the hospital yesterday it was a bit weird and I got discharged, not much more to say think I'll write them a letter.

Friday Afternoon

Lot of vomit around yesterday, think I am going through one of those patches when I can't hold down anything. Still don't worry -I'm not. Kieran the librarian from Hammy House came to see me, I don't think he would object if I described him as eccentric (or loopy). See his blog for incontrovertible proof. He is a top man however, and a librarian can be a really useful ally. We talked about life the universe and everything for about an hour. The evening was pretty unremarkable, just TV and feeling sick for me. We were supposed to be at the cricket club quiz but it was cancelled, (I wasn't fit anyway).
Friday morning and its an early start to get to the hospital. The girls have gone off to the Trafford Centre supposedly for Christmas shopping, we'll see. The clinic was busy and for the first time I wasn't the biggest guy there, in fact I felt a bit like a successful graduate, returning to his old school. I have been going for nearly three years and I always see Dr Mackean - so today I took him a bottle of wine as a thank you. I was weighed, down again 34.75kg down from the op. 76.5 pounds, that's five and a half stone lost in 7 weeks 2 days, that feels good. I stationed myself outside Dr Mc's room and started to get perturbed when people who arrived after me start going in before me. I was just about to complain when I am called into another room, to see a consultant Dr Pink...something. A very nice chap and accompanied by a colleague and three students. He seemed please and brought Dr Mackean in to see me.

Thursday afternoon

Had a couple of no don't stop emails yesterday, thanks Kate and Ron. Enthused by this outpouring of public emotion I pressed on. I have introduced new features, titles and a retrospective on the early weight loss days (as indicated by italics). I got a lot done yesterday, Ally was busy with Lizzie Craig and John worked tirelessly on the decorating.I concentrated on college type stuff, I have been doing a Masters degree for three years here. I'll probably get there one day. Been sick since last night unable to hold down much but not to worry. This morning was busy Jean was off to buy more B&Q provisions for John to install.I ate breakfast, was sick and then went out to get a haircut. The change is almost complete nearly all of my hair has gone. My barber Frank is totally supportive he is made up I have lost so much weight. He wants before and after shots to display in his shop, I think I better wear a hat for those.
Off to the gym after that, Jack says I can increase the aerobic bit of my workout and start coming three times a week.

Getting weighed

Well it should be easy you just stand there, and look at the dial, when I got to 18 stone I stopped getting weighed. Most domestic scales don't go over 20 stone, so once that limit is reached, it seems a pointless activity. I was fat and heavy, that was enough information for me. At the clinic they use a special scale you sit on. Sort of like a moulded plastic chair seat on a trolley with two stirrups for you to rest your feet on. The act of just sitting on it humiliates, the room empty when I entered has now filled up with an assortment of bods to hear the final score. To make it really mean they are all behind you, but you can hear them.
The scale reads out in 1. Kilograms - to several decimal places, ok if you are under 18 years of age and/or continental. 2. Pounds - Fine if you are American or can divide by 14. 3. Stones and pounds, what some might call legacy units, but these are the only ones I understand. Gail handles this sensitively and writes down my score in kg on a piece of paper, and discretely hands it to me. I assume its her phone number and thank her but politely decline her kind offer. Gails successors are not always as kind and several times my weight has been shouted aloud through the diabetes department. Then back to the waiting area, to save time you are called for the weigh in in twos or threes, it also guarantees there will be someone else to share the embarrassment. The Doc explains the procedure in this clinic, I can't remember most of it because I am trying to multiply by 2.2 and divide by 14.Next I end up in front of this lady who introduces herself as the dietitian........

Somebody asked how I ended up having surgery, just for the record I thought I would list the steps here.
About three years ago I heard about a Weight Management Clinic at Walton Hospital, Walton is part of South Sefton Health Authority and I lived in Liverpool. My GP Frank had to lobby the Health Authority in order to get permission to refer me there. This he did effectively as ever and I was sent for. I remember feeling very nervous, many health services are not fat friendly. Several Docs just look at you and blame everything on the weight and say things like "Lose 10 stone and we'll operate," I say something like thanks doc will do and never go back.
The first thing I noticed about this place was the chairs, they consisted of 4 seats in a row in a once piece metal construction with integrated arms. They were designed for the British standard bum size. I have sat in these before, when you stand up the whole row of four becomes strangely ajoined to your rear. Doesn't look cool and isn't clever, plus the surgical referral for removal can take weeks.
The Doctor was a clinical Assistant called Dr McKean who seemed to really care and be genuinely interested he took the fullest history ever. The assisted by Gail the auxiliary nurse he embarked on collecting a series of measurements (of me). The two person waist measurement maneouvre is one I wont forget in a hurry. He maintained his interest even through my painfully long and detailed medical history, an act of endurance.
He reported my heart seemed fine, he measured my blood pressure, a difficult feat in itself. Let me explain the normal cuff is made to fit the normal arm. Big Boys need an oversize cuff, generally not stocked. Using the normal cuff leads to it blowing off when the required pressure is reached. Less experienced practitioners ask the patient to grip it tightly, thus causing an incorrect reading. his clinic seemed to have an arrangement with the elephant house at Chester zoo. They had several sizes to fit all, I was impressed. Dr Mc told me my blood pressure was normal even for a normal sized person. Then I had to get weighed.......... (to be continued)

Wednesday am - After several requests I have put a link up to my weight loss surgery web page on the blog. I hope it works. (once again proving the blog is a customer focused service).

Wednesday AM - A busy day yesterday, the decorating continues to proceed at an alarming rate, and several visitors in attendance. Tony Woods and his wife Lisa who was involved in the I North Nibley Romania Team a charity that I was involved with a few years ago The images on the website brought back a lot of memories. They were accompanied by their son Callum celebrating his 2 year old birthday, by sleeping throughout. Straight after them was Tommy McDonough, podiatrist and British winner of the guess the weight loss competition. He collected his bottle of wine, he kept me amused with his somewhat weird sense of humour, which I identified with straightaway. Bit of sickness today and some pain in the night, but still making progress. Off to the hospital on Friday, to Dr Wildings clinic, he is an endocrinologist who referred me for surgery, so I guess Friday will be my last appointment there. I'll talk some more about that in the next posting. Page views on this blog are down, only 4 today taking us up 899 for the month of October. I was saying to Tommy that the blog is getting a bit samey and the fear and excitement of the surgery bits are no longer there. Personal emails are also down, so if you are reading this let me know you are still out there

Tuesday Morning - Yesterday we were invaded by John the decorator, anurse who took early retirement John now makes a living gardening and decorating. The house already seems brighter. He can't stop whistling and singing all the time, I think they must teach you to whistle at tradesmens school, I should have mentioned before being a nurse he was an electrician. Now he is top all round handyman who can turn his hand to any job. He was whistling the same tune for most of the day which my daughter informs me is a rap by Nelly and Kelly. He also regaled us with songs from "Paint your Wagon." Popstars rival he aint. Ally is off school this week and was very unimpressed with our old man reminiscences of days gone by.
We were visited at lunchtime by Sandra Bagnall and Emma Knox from the matchworks. Emma is newly married and is off to Las Vegas and Hawaii for her honeymoon next week. Despite my natural aversion to wedding photographs she managed to get me to look at a packet full. After lunch Kate Powell sent me the URL for her wedding photos, another 10 minutes of delight spent surfing them.
Off to B&Q in the evening for extra provisions and more home improvements. Amazed at how far I can walk around the store - managed the complete store. Purchased some new trainers for the gym and pair of boots.(from the shoe store not B&Q).
Had some shepherds pie for tea, a real unaltered ready meal, and kept it down. Visited in the evening by Jenny, Vaughan, Thomas and Kathryn from Market Harborough which is a small town in rural Leicestershire. Jenny is a very keen blog follower and will be delighted to see her name mentioned here.

More on Monday morning - what a madhouse, I didn't get off to sleep till late and was goosed this morning when they tried to wake me up. I was in one of those dream like cocoon states that comes from still being in bed on a cold morn. I had totally forgotten about the decorating - Jean and Ally were moving things and generally being busy, all too much for me. In the rush on the way out Jean slipped on the path and took a mean tumble. She was shook and bruised and worse of all felt stupid. That girls got enough on her plate looking after me.

Monday morning - I had a day off yesterday. The girls enjoyed the concert, one of them more than the other it seems. The house now has several items of Gareth memorabilia, I suspect some of them will figure in the new decor. Yesterday we went out to Ruth and Pauls for Sunday lunch. I sat at a table with other people and looked almost normal. My side plate had some mash, carrot and turnip and about an ounce of chicken. I ate less than half of it and sat through two courses. I was amazed at the size of other peoples portions, and that only six weeks ago I would have eaten them and then some. I have to say the home made hot apple pie and vanilla ice cream was the bit I really fancied. Still I am lucky, I don't feel hungry at all and this weight loss is worth it all.
After we got home efforts were focussed on getting ready for John the decorator.

Saturday morning, madness has descended upon the house and possessed the female occupants. We have to clear Ally's bedroom prior to John the decorator starting on Monday morning. I am trying to stay cool, and as a gesture am trying to tidy the three square metres I occupy. I had a great sleep, woke up stiff but dragged myself out of the pit. Yesterday I was raving about going to the end of the road, well, last night I went round the block ie the end of the road x2 plus some. Mind you I was shattered after. I stopped twice but was made up with the achievement. I'm off to the gym later, soon I think before lunch and then I can enjoy my soup.Ally and Jean are off to see a Gareth, Will and Zoe (concert) tonight in Manchester. I think they were competitors in one of those dreadful starmaker shows. Ally is well in to Gareth and she has been dancing round the house this morning. I got the tyre replaced on the car yesterday, I rang the lease company and a man comes to the house to do it. How civilised, I was impressed. You'll probably get another posting today, when those two are off to the concert.

Friday morning - After doing yesterday afternoons entry I took another walk to the end of the road, I guess the theory is this walking stuff gets easier the more you do it. I have walked further in the last week than ever, you wouldn't believe the sense of satisfaction I got from making it to the end of the road. I think the gym needs a plug, it is fully accessible and totally inclusive. The atmosphere from both staff and members is great, nearly everyone will speak to you, or pass a friendly word of encouragement, go and look at its facilities here. The only problem I think is it lacks a pool, sauna and steam room, but the price is competitive and the food isn't bad at all. Advert over. More visitors yesterday, Ali P from work, Sister Mary, Mike and Ian old friends from Winwick days. By the way for those who don't know Winwick was a large mental hospital housing 3000 patients where I started my nurse training in the seventies.

Thursday Afternoon. The lycra reference has caused consternation, don't worry it was a joke. The gym felt better than ever. I was interviewed first and we talked for a long time before going at and doing something. Jack the gym boss was extremely interested in the surgery and impressed with its effects so far. I noted it was 6 months since last I attended. I gave Jack details of the both the blog and my weight loss site , I have just looked and he had left a message in the guestbook. He is patient, straightforward, and a great trainer. I have every confidence in him. I did a very slow start to my program but still feel tired tonight. I will go again on Saturday.

Thursday Morning. Saw Frank after a long wait, top quality as ever, he was made up with my progress and weight loss. Changed all my liquid medicaments back to tablets - fantastic the syrups are almost all unpalatable. He is trying to sort the eczema on my hands again, I've had a bit of a flare up. Sam from work visited me at lunchtime she looks well its amazing what two weeks in Florida can do. I went out in the afternoon and got a flat tyre which was duly put right by Mr RAC. I was a bit sick again, but I am determined not to let that stop me. Visited later by Val Vernon my boss, we had a good laugh mostly at my expense. Dave and Hazel came round later again lots of good solid belly laughs which I feel more able to participate in. Somewhere in the middle I went out for a walk, and I got all the way to the end of the road, first time I have been there on foot for some years. I had a rest at the end then set off back, feeling like I had had a major achievement. Gym this morning so I need to rush to don my lycra one piece. Hopefully update later.

Wednesday Morning 08:07, this is the earliest I have been up since I came out of hospital I had forgotten there was two eight o'clocks in the day. I have an appointment with Frank the GP at 9.10. Slept right through last night with no medication. Had a busy day yesterday, started off by going to Walton to get my bloods done. All the usual things to test as well as iron, zinc and magnesium. Visited by Stella and Ann two colleagues from mental health days, had a late lunch of tuna and mayo, mixed but not liquidised (a first). It was fine but seemed like someone had forgotten the bread. Went out for a walk but defeated by the elements, too wet. Visited by Dave and Bev from Hamilton House, followed by Ruth, Bea, Colin, Jenny Hannah and Alan. Had some unliquidised soup ( another first) for tea, whilst they were here. They were followed by Ruth and Tom. A full visiting session if ever there was one. Off to get sorted and see Frank -update later.

Tuesday Morning, bad news I was up first, which means the other two have overslept. Sounds of panic ensue, now its all gone strangely quiet. I was up till gone 4, I couldn't sleep my head was whizzing with loads of thoughts. I have been on a bit of a high since yesterday.
Well I suppose you lot want a result from yesterday - I couldn't help myself I've told some people already (but I know who they are, mum, Allys friends, Cozzie, mum, Frank the barber,Nan,Ruth, Paul, Tommy, mike and Jane, Phil, jenny and Vaughan, Mary and john, Bea (mother-in-law), woman on car park at Bridge chapel). Everyone was so positive it got me wound right up in a positive frenzy - hence not sleeping.
Anyway the competition was fun 12 entries ranging from 19 pounds to 65 pounds.
Well the result was a whopping 28.4 kg (also expressed as 62.4 pounds, 4and a half stones, more than half a hundred weight (a big sack of spuds) 28 bags of sugar), in less than 6 weeks. It wont always be this dramatic but I am well chuffed.
The winner was Marta from New York state, she did have the same op as me one day later (how will I get that wine there) she guessed 65pounds, but as she has an unfair advantage I am awarding a prize to Tommy McDonough with his next nearest guess of 48 pounds. Tommy give me a call and come and get your prize.
Meanwhile I am made up!

Monday afternoon. Back from outpatients, 2 hours there big waits Mr Kerrigan was running late. Good news on the weight front I am content, I'll detail how content tomorrow morning. So I'll take my questions and his answers and try to lay them out for you.
Driving - yes go, go go.
Pain - probably due to the retractor during surgery, will resolve (and it is getting better).
The service has a new dietitian who started today but has had her appendix out last week.
Meals - work through the plan go to 3 meals and no snacking aim for 1200 calories and high protein.
Gym - can start this week avoid belly muscle work for 3-4 months, Aim for 40 mins 3-5 times a week.
I got weighed results tomorrow.
Vitamins keep on look for new chewy type - Alison Butt to help.
Minerals - blood test today.
Over all he was pleased with my progress, he emphasised the partnership aspects of the procedure, and though the operation was doing most of the weight loss the input from me would increase over time.
I am going to set up a website for him whilst I am off sick, as well as increasing the amount of patient info on my web site. He took down details for the blog site he said a couple of people had asked him. (Better be careful what I say).
Jean and I are made up! Going to go and see my mate Cozzie from Bridge Chapel and pick Alison up.

Monday Morning. Feeling better all round, read some inspirational sites from others who have had WLS (weight loss surgery) and began to feel more on top of things. Ok I was sick again last night and I still have some pain but I'm in control. Going to see Mr Kerrigan will post back later with outcome. Will leave weight result till tomorrow as promised.

Sunday Morning, Slept in till 10.30, had a good sleep, the abdo pain is palpably better. Still reading avidly, mostly easy to digest fiction. I was thinking about if I have lost weight, my feet are but skin and bone, well its all relative. I think my face looks different too. My belly doesn't feel much smaller, but everything has well fallen down a bit. These loose clothes don't help, perhaps I should wear some work clothes to get a good idea. I think I'll take a picture for the web site tomorrow. Been looking at other blogs and found this The homeless guy written by a homeless man in Nashville, he goes the library everyday to update. I didn't say yesterday but I had a drive around the retail parks carpark yesterday. That felt good, I'll feel more independent when I can go out alone, Jean starts back at work this week. Part time initially, three afternoons and some working from home.

Saturday night - Last night i went out in the dark for the first time for ages. Went to pick Ally up from a year 8 disco, being an all girls school the invite the year 8 boys from St Margarets (another church school) for the evening. It was strange for me being out at 10pm. Ally was surprised to see me. Saturday has been quiet been to Speke retail park shopping, though I sat in WHSmith and read 3 computer books whilst the girls did the business. After that we went to pick up "me mam" from "me nans" (mother from grandmothers). My mum has been worrying about my recent downturn, but I was able to reassure I'm on the up again. My brother thought things were that bad he rang up to see how I was. I've been watching the DVD of " A bridge to far" it starred a galaxy of stars including Erik Chitty - my hero. Jean said I should not let me chitmeister general adulation go too far. (you may need to read the archives to understand this). Eaten two meals today and only a tad of vomit, hurrah!

I am getting weighed on Monday any blogwatcher want to forecast how much I've shed since Wednesday 4th September, in kilos or pounds for the metrically challenged. Answers to ken.clare@blueyonder.co.uk , A bottle of my finest red wine to the nearest entry, winner announced Tuesday AM will accept entries till then.

Friday AM. Frank rang at 7pm he has spoken to both the anaesthetist and surgeon. Apparently phases like I am going through aren't unusual when changing stages in diet. I am to ring frank tomorrow if no improvement. John McCoy visited to drop off some kit and I settled down after three of those buccastem tablets. Drowsiness is an interesting side effect so I had a lot better nights sleep. Still just drinking water and tea, nothing to eat. Will re-open for visitors today if progress continues. Got a card from the district nurses thanking us for their thank you gift. Also a brochure about the new car - still not sure how to make up my mind about which one to choose.

Those anti-nausea tablets work, feeling less yuk. Mr Kerrigans secretary called appt for Monday Morning at Walton.

Thursday 1pm Spoke to Doc, sip clear fluids, he has given me something to put between my lip and gum for nausea. Observe overnight, if its a surgical problem the pain will get worse, could just be gastro-enteritis.

Thursday Morning - Been sick several times since last night. Can't seem to keep anything down, was sick last night after a glass of milk at 8.30 and again later. Another poor nights sleep with increased pain and nausea. Sick again this morning. Don't feel right at all will ring Frank and seek his advice. Drastic step of cancelling visitors needs to be taken too.

Wednesday 8pm. Dr Frank called he's going to speak to the surgeon and the anaesthetist about the pain. Sick after tea. Feeling a bit fed up afterwards but my old mate Si rang up. I wouldn't normally mention phone calls but his wife is prone to complaining if I don't mention him - Cheers Angela.

Wednesday Morning. Veronica Bellis visited yesterday - she brought me up to date with everything happening at work - none of which I can remember. Afterwards we went for a trip to the Tesco superstore at Prescot. Most enjoyable. I am becoming a connoisseur of leading supermarkets across the region. Visited by Jeans family in the evening, Ruth (Jeans sister) said she thought I was down last week, but noted an improvement today. Hazel and Dave came later on. Dave is a "big lad" we exchange stories about being fat in a side splitting fashion. Having a laugh like that is as good as a tonic. Bad nights sleep again, still in pain. Dr Frank to visit later today. The spell checker wants to call Veronica "Bellies" I like that.

I know I am beginning to sound monotonous but I still have this pain under my ribs which stopped me from sleeping despite three of Dr Franks synthetic opiate powders. I will ring the surgery today this can't go on. Up early today, to get my meals in. Kieran Lamb from the library at Hammy House has set up a blog (in which I get several mentions). I'll circulate the address if he wants me to. Despite one or two moments the Office wasn't up to its award winning standard last night.

Monday Afternoon - Still in pain along bottom of ribs left hand side. Didn't sleep at all well last night. Tried something new this am, Jean woke me up at 7.30 and gave me breakfast. We have been struggling to fit everything in if I don't get up till 9.30-10. Doing OK today went to ASDA, well the opticians really for some new glasses cleaner. While Jean was in the mall I sat people watching. The man was there to empty the Liverpool cat welfare food donation bin. They done good this week. The man sorted about 60 tins into separate bags based on brand. Fascinating to watch, I need more brain stimulation. Also I cashed in my penny drawer, I stick all my loose change in a drawer. In ASDA they have a machine that counts it automatically - kewl. Sixty four quid, not bad for a load of old slummy. Then off to PC world to buy a treat, I didn't I wouldn't pay their inflated prices. Jean bought a gardening cd???

Monday Morning. Saturday night was bad, after tea I was ill for about an hour, vomiting didn't bring on the immediate relief it normally does. Very fed up. Sunday was quiet with no visitors - Ally went out for lunch with the rest of the family, to Owens at Childwall Fiveways. Jean and I had liquidised soup. Continuing with my walking each day, I am convinced I am more mobile than before the op. I had to extend my crutch (walking aid)by one notch. I am definitely more upright than before. I watched "The Shield" on channel five on Saturday and Sunday nights - website at here The main character is a bad cop who looks like a cross between Phil and Grant Mitchell and Bruce Willis (quote lifted from the Guardian). Thanks to Sandra Bagnall for putting me on to it.

Saturday am - bring it up to date. I had the best nights sleep for ages, Franks new pills worked. I woke up feeling refreshed. I even spent some time sleeping face down, my favourite position as its easier on the back and hips. Feeling good. Ally has gone to Cadbury world with the guides for the day, I asked to bring me a pressie, a pen or something.

After Terri went I had some scrambled egg for tea. I only eat half and kept it down - a victory I feel loads better. On reflection the vomiting was making me feel very miserable. Visited by Grandma, Ruth, Paul, Colin, Hannah and niece Catherine home for the weekend from Manchester. The egg stayed down and I felt a minor victory.

Ali Lee and Archie her baby turned up just after four. Ali did a good job about putting my head in perspective about things, I am doing well and things will get better. Archie is just cute beyond words, having a small babe in the house cheers everyone up, especially my daughter, who had invited Lizzie her friend to meet Archie. Ali Lee also pointed out about not even being mentioned when visiting. A new policy then all visitors get mentioned, (to be fair its not the first complaint I have had). Ali brought a get well card from the executive team at the matchworks. Terri Holcroft from Hammy House called in on her way home, she thinks I look good and pointed out how much more mobile I am compared to before the op. BTW the spell checker aint working.(well it is really but I installed some software to stop the numerous pop ups when surfing and it killed it)

Well on Friday morning after writing the blog I went back to bed - till 3 o'clock. Not really a good move, missed meals and more importantly fluids. I felt a bit dehydrated when I woke up. Jean had been trying to persuade me to get up but I didn't want to. I got fed up with everything and started to feel down. Expecting visitors at 3 I got out of bed and made a big effort to get looking human - it nearly worked. I think the poor sleep and the scale of my recovery (ie another 8 weeks) had got me down.

Friday am -visited yesterday by Gail and Sandra, we did laugh. Frank (doc, not barber) came later on. He was on top form, as ever. He thinks the pain I am getting may be caused by nerve inflammation from where the retractor was holding my offal out of the way during the op. He prescribed some different pain killers (which the pharmacist had never heard of). He said if these don't work I can have some steroid and stuff injected direct to the site of pain, (don't fancy that). See him in two weeks or before if the painkillers don't work. Rang Mr Kerrigans secretary about an out-patient appt. Next slot is 3rd December (too far away), she is going to try to fit me in.Had a scrambled egg for tea - disaster sick again, back to the drawing board. Feel really fed up about this. Mary (my sister) and her husband came round after tea, that and the League of Gentlemen cheered me up.

Thursday Morning. Tried some fish in the style of stage one diet - nearly blocked and was sick, on the positive I felt it happening and took evasive action. Jean and I discussed it and wondered if the cheese sauce it was contained in is implicated. More experimentation required. I just want poached egg on toast! Got up late after more poor sleep.Jean fell asleep after dropping Ally off at school.

Wednesday PM - The nurse was made up with the fruit and chocs - nice one. I went into Rathbone this lunchtime to get a form signed, then off to Tesco at Old Swan - what a change on that corner. Back home tired and worn out (so much excitement). Jo the dietitian rang and has said I can move on to the next stage of the diet. Hooray a scrambled egg for me, now on Cottage cheese texture foods. (as of tomorrow, the cook has already planned todays menu). I'll scan the diet sheets and put them on the new website. It can be found here. Its a bit of a mess at the minute but will start taking shape soon. Have a look at the pics if you can bear.

Wednesday PM - Nurse made up with the flowers and chocs. Been out to Rathbone to get a form signed by Payroll, Then on to Tesco in Old Swan. Not much of a day out but I am whacked.Dieititian rang we had a talk I can move on to the next stage of diet. Cottage cheese consistency diet -hooray scrambled egg tomorrow. I'll scan the diet sheet and out it up at the companion website. It is still work in progress but will improve. Be warned some of the photos are alarming.

Wednesday Morning - Last district nurse visit today we think. They have been great, absolutely top class, and a lot of their business is ripe for computerisation. Links with home loans social services, pharmacy and liason at the hospital. There's a job for someone when I get back. We wanted to get them a present - I was for giving them a bottle each, after discussion and hearing of their diets we have opted for fruit and a small box of chocs. By the way, I had another disturbed nights sleep, this cant be helping the recovery process.

Tuesday AM scar looking good, another poor nights rest, this isn't good. After much thought Jean and I have concluded it may be gas. The site of the pain shifts too often for it to be anything more serious (I hope). Its a good theory but how do we cure it? I have suggested a wick and burning it off in an everlasting flame sort of way. Still we'll see what Frank suggests. Did anyone see The Office last night, new series on BBC2, some laughs but a lot of cringe factor. Very entertaining and some great characters. Very spooky hearing David Brent saying things you have said yourself.

Monday morning - another poor night, I seem unable to get comfortable unless I am on my left side. Any other position causes discomfort and then pain in my abdomen. Perhaps its just the result of all the messing that went on in my belly and it will settle down given time. My hip, knees and back feel better than the have done in ages - so there's a big positive.

Sunday morning - Kathy the district nurse came early this morning, I was still asleep. I had had another poor night going off to sleep late and troubled with aches a lot in the night. Good news dressing can stay off now, what was a wound is now a scar.To celebrate I have just had a bath, it was delightful.

I didn't win the grauniad best british blog award, Scary duck did. I wasn't even a runner-up. Still never mind, I am working on a website to support this blog and do some of the things I haven't properly sussed out how to do here. Things like pictures, on line calenders and even a webcam (only joking). Depending how I am I'll tell you about it next week. My america friend Marta has been in touch, she thinks I'm having a bad time - I have to say I thought I was doing ok. She sounds like she has missed out on some of the post op delights I have experienced.