Friday - No time to blog on Thursday

Missing a day is bad news - been so busy this week I feel almost normal.
So to break the missing bits into small chunks and chew slowly. Had a big meet at work Wednesday afternoon discussing how to snaffle someof the extra money that the NHS will be given after April to improve its computer systems. Problem is they made a list last week and it came to three times the dosh that is likely to be available. I worry that even if we get a lot we aint got many people about with the right skills. I am also concerned about the amount of endless peformance monitoring stuff we have to submit to the centre (whatever that means). Perhaps if we asked saddam, blair, bush and co to fill in all these returns it would prevent the meltdown in the Gulf. It seems to me that everyone is so busy filling this stuff in to monitor their performance that they aint got time to perform (which could be a good thing in the gulf). I am having those strange old feelings that I want to make a difference to health for real people and I guess that seems a long way away at the minute. Make jokes about chucking it all in and going to be a clinical person again. Something stirs deep inside about why I joined up as a nurse anyway, all those years ago. I manage to stop these delusional ideas affecting my performance at performance monitoring. Wednesday Night is quite poignant as we raise a glass to Peter, and talk about old times and friends who are no longer with us.
Thursday morning got to be at Aintree Hospitals to see Mr Kerrigan at the ungodly hour of 9.15. This will involve a trek up Queens drive, a main artery of liverpol, at rush hour which is not easy. I opt for light relief on the journey talking handsfree to John Mc, top primary care technician and all round good egg.I do miss working with him. Arrive handy at Aintree and secure a decent accessible parking space. Do a few phonecalls and prepare an agenda for the meeting with Mr K. Not sure but anticipate its to talk about websites, and support. Rather than matters personal. Correct in my assumption, and for two hours we cover huge areas. The man is a star, I have noticed this personality cult that weight Loss surgery people develop about their surgeons. When someone gives you a life back its hard not to look at them as some kind of saint. We discuss this at length, I hope I don't do this but my suggestion that I design Dave Kerrigan memorabilia and mechandise betrays me. He is impressed with the selling locks of his hair idea,though, think of the income generation potential. We discuss a vast range of things in a circuitous way and I feel like we are the same wavelength about quite a few things. Getting some professional help with the wlsinfo website which is good and looking at printed info for those people without t'internet. Though a lot of big people have internet access as it is an enabling tool, if you can afford it. Leave with lots of plans after 2 hours. Miss a meeting of the trainers and head straight for the matchworks spending oly 25 minutes on the rocket flyover because of roadworks, still a good chance to phone people. Arrive at Matchworks and some big prescribing team doo is on, not sure what it is but the lunch smells good. See Frank (GP not barber) another one of the Ken Clare support team who will be shortly enter the sainthood. Meet some other docs, some of whom are really encouraging about the weight loss, some of whom dont mention it (maybe they didn't notice). The event is run by Ali my heavily pregnant mate, I will miss her when she goes on Mat leave as she is sound and supportive to me. off to childwall to see Sam and the gang, what a great job she has done in my absence, though I still feel guilty about being away so long. Had a good natter with one of my staff who is in the TA about the stae of the gulf
Home to the girls and off to mums for her 73rd birthday, we bought her a groovy chick cake, some flowery things and bulbs. She is very difficult to buy for. See Sandra at Tescos we went in for a cake and a pint of milk and spend 35 quid.See brother Dave and his partner Maria at Mums. My sister Mary is off to the theatre in Manchester. BAck home a few phone calls, bit of surfing and its time for ER. A very moving (tear jerking) episode on E4.
Friday then, a meeting at the matchworks, then Eileens dads funeral and off to Leeds for an evening meeting. The weight loss support group for one of the two surgery centres in the city.A busy weekend ahead.

Wednesday AM

Popped into the Matchworks, Missed lunch (not good) had a good meeting with Caroline and Paul (my counterparts) between us we cover the whole of Liverpool. Had a natter with a few folk and sorted some stuff out. Popped into the library, saw Mo, Tracey and King Blogger. Realised that running a blog can afffect how you interact. People seem to know about the details of certain aspects of my life. They also get miffed if they dont get mentioned (sometimes). It feels a bit like a confessional sometime, and I am talking to myself, forgetting that there is a sad band of people peeping in to my equally sad life (several of whom just stormed out in a huff). I am worried I will let something thats supposed to be confidential, slip in my dear diary secion.
Anyway matters food had three quarters of a banana at 3.30, then egg and beans about 6. Barfed that up, ate in a rush I think. Went to mother in laws and saw Ruth and Pauls excellent pics from New York. Bit of webbing later on and been invited to a weight loss surgery support group in Leeds on Friday, bit apprehensive, but would like to go, there are practical things, like getting to Leeds for 6.30 on a Fridaybut we'll see. Just had a phone call from Si, whose 40th we went to last week one of our contemporaries Peter, died on Saturday, just out of the blue. We all used to be in the Boys Brigade together many moons ago. Funeral on Tuesday at 1pm, I'll have to make a few phonecalls, that's knocked me for six.

Tuesday - early starter

Haircut yesterday and that always helps, Frank is so positive. Back to the house and a call from Tina who is pre-op two weeks out, she is coming to see us on Sunday. Hope it helps her. Off to the gym then quick tea, which comes back whilst watching program about wls. Corrie climax for trickie dickie. Up at 6 this morning to pick Ruth and Paul up from the airport, they enjoyed New York but looked tired. Digestion out of kilter as a consequence. Getting there now, and off to work shortly. Going to Hammy House so not sure what to do about lunch.

Monday Monday

Went to the hospital yesterday, Nanny Banks looks better, though going to be in for another week, while they organise a home assessment. The outcome of which will be that the house aint suitable, but she aint movin so why bother. The interaction between my mum and my nan does my head in. It was bedtime last night before I was able to tell Jean and Ally about it. The deafness, shouting, repetition, multitheaded conversations, racism, and time delay conspire to wreck my head. At least with my sister there, I feel strength in numbers. Got home eat lasagne nice, went for a walk round the block, without stopping and not even breathless. I messed about with website and stuff, girls went to church, and pathfinders. I stayed up late bit of trouble getting off to sleep. Couldn't use my PC to acess my work account - not good.Got up early (8.30 middle of the night for me). Webbed away the first part of the day till waking a sleeping Ally at 10.30. I need a haircut today so its off to Franks at some point. Left some tidying work and catering to sort. Had a hankering last night for roast potatoes. Contacted by a woman from Bury last night, Tina, she is 10 days pre-op invited her over. It certainly helped me talking to someone before the op. Waiting for an email or call back today. Back to work tomorrow. Eileens dad passed away last week, never easy, no matter what age and whatever circumstances. I will try to make the funeral on Friday.
Have to go the gym later today I think, or tomorrow after work.

Sunday Morning

Well things got busy as they do. I went to the gym. I LOST 9.5LBS THIS WEEK, I was made up big time, I had eaten the most since the op and lost that much weight, and feel great. Fair ran round the gym, done more walking then ever cardiovascular up to 35 minutes. Made up.Had a good natter with Van, he's sports development manager or something, doesn't usually supervise the gym more strategic I think. Anyway his degree is in PE and IT so we had a lot to talk about. He's got a mate who is a Javascript programmer who is going to do me a Body Mass Index calculator (Its a way of calculating how obese you are) developed in 1840. We had a good rant about many subjects under the sun. Got home and was a bit excited about my weight loss, had some covent garden chicken soup, with bread. Something got stuck and I went in to reverse mode and a little barf. Cant help thinking I should have chewed more, also the excitement meant I should have waited. Part of the learning curve said Jean, right as always.
Worked on website and nattered to Mick on MSN messenger. Went to pick mum up from the royal, she dont look well but says she is better. She wanted to go to LIDL a german discount supermarket on London Road. She likes it because its cheap and does good boiled ham. Its a weird place, man with one copy of big issue sat outside, not many white faces inside, and a plethora of weird products. I bought a keyboard and mouse from there before christmas for Ally. The wine range looked and I was taken by their 2.99 cabernet, very nice indeed. Dropped mum off and went to Tesco, nice white middleclass experience, a lot more comfortable,did a little shop. And realised how far apart the Tesco and Lidl worlds are. Hmm. Nothing on telly after the cricket last night till Parky at 10.20, I am getting old, Parky and Radio 2, I'll be buying hush puppies next, and sports casuals. England winning at both rugby and cricket in the same year? weird. Got up late and messed about on PC, paper interesting this morning. Read all about fergie and becks which I hadn't followed during this week. Big night on Corrie tomorrow Tricky Dickie confesses all, at 7.30 there is a documentary on BBC1 about weight loss surgery. Have to record that somehow.Off to see Nanny Banks in Hospital report back later.

Saturday morning part one

York summary.
Most participative holiday I have had for ever. Got right involved and walked for ages (with crutch). Feeling stiff and sore now though. Cottage was great though the cold tap in the kitchen got stuck in the on position, and I had to turn the water on and off at the mains. York is a beautiful city and the area around is great, recommend it to anyone who hasn't been. Though I did suffer tweaks of nausea I didn't barf in anger. I had solid food and tried somethings...toasted teacake with butter, blueberry muffin, covent garden chicken soup,fruit strawberry,kiwi and melon. Spag bol, tagliatelle with ham and mushroom. Sorry it seems the gastroscopy eas a major success. I guess I am feeling now how most people feel 4 weeks post op. By then the majority stop barfing, trust me be to be in the 99th percentile of a normal distribution. Did I mention my statistics O level grade C. Thats the first time I have ever used it.
The holiday did make me realise how impaired my mobility had been, and how much it has improved. Also how much Jean and Ally have had to put up with and miss out on. No more of that I'm in and up for it all now. We got back at lunchtime as Ally had an appointment at the orthodontist, who proposes quite a bit of work. Whilst it will be traumatic, I am sure it will be worth it in the long run. Got back to hundreds of emails, most of it junk, but some good stuff and the wlsinfo is generating traffic.
Visited by Colin, Hannah and Jenny and spouted about how great the holiday was. Then off to town to see D off. He is in the TA and has been called up for the gulf. He seems fairly relaxed about it all, but it made me and several other people shiver. Watching all the crap on the telly about it is one thing but when its people that you know, going off to fight it gets very scary and real. I am well against the war, Bush is a lunatic and Blair is backed into a corner with him, and people like my mate will be lost as a consequence - a mixed bag of feeling. It was a good turnout, alot of old friends there, some very pleased to see me, a few people who didnt recognise me. One girl who was at school with Jean was really interested and made up I had had the op. I sat with Paul, who recently left my employ for a better job. He is a guardian reading left winger like my self (honest) I was relieved he felt the same stuff as me . Mad war, out to support our mate, and we'll have a party when he comes back, and I'll feel as uncomfortable as I did when the Falklands boys returned way back when. My daughter tells me Blue are bringing out an anti war song, haven't we got enough good ones already? MAybe we should send Blue in, that would force saddam into submission, and a lot more environmentally friendly than war.
I am still on the labour party email list despite ripping up my card over student fees at university, they sound out a missive any time tony needs help. He has spoken to some exiled Iraqis and they told him its right. I aint convinced. The other debate last night was who to vote for at the next election - bit of a worry that.
Got home and did a bit of surfing, and website maintenance with the aid of my wlsinfo mate Mick a cockney geezer from swansea. Jane another wls info mate has done a couple of book reviews so that will need posting today, well in Jane. So today, gym for me, haircut and dancing for Ally, girls going swimmin, pick my mum up from hospital and england vPakistan on the telly. Squeeze in some web stuff as well, my computer feels neglected.

Friday night

Been too busy to blog today and too tired now. Will attempt to fully catch up tomorrow.

Post lunch nausea

four little bits of bread with the soup and i feel sick and full. Back to blogging to divert my attention and refocus the brain. Mum is feeling better was the report recieved this morning. Ruth and Paul have gone to New York, Happy birthday ruth and I hope they can find me a cheap pocket PC. if not I'll be buying one next week. dell have brought out a little one that looks the part only 270squid as well, that'll do me. York is a lovely city and lots of street entertainers etc, very touristy but hey I like that. Had a look at wlsinfo the website I have set up and 12 members now registered and good amount of traffic flowing. Read a book on Internet cafes before my dinner, seems they have them everywhere now. Anyway going to get off now and look at the York archy trust thing and chat to my mate mick on msnmessenger

Thursday in york

Back in the cybercafe, 4 hours access for a tenner and usuable in 10 minute blocks, free cup of coffee. So i am made up. What a great time we are having I am walking like a star, and striding out everywhere. Girls are off shopping again after ally relctantly agreed to a day in the country yesterday. we had a bit of a drive and ended up in helmsley, then went to a deserted abbey I'll have to look up the spelling http://www.theheritagetrail.co.uk/abbeys/rievaulx_abbey.htm cant seem to make this into a hyperlink but it was great. Rievaulx abbey set in this valley at the edge of the north york moors. It was quite a moving place, very history. Once them two shoppers have had their retail therapy I am going to try to persuade em to go yorkshire archaeological trust. They will love that going to have some soup now back later

Gonna break for lunch now

Time for a break i wonder how much this has cost.

Cybercaff in York

What a place, Apple Macs. filter coffee, soup, and funky music. My first cybercafe experience phenomenal!! The girls have gone off shopping, and they are going somewhere nice for lunch without me, so they can eat better. I'll have soup in here.
The holiday has started fine, we left yesterday at 11ish and landed at M&S warrington, to stock up on emergency provisions. Eat lunch in the revive cafe, very nice I had my first carrot and coriander soup and bread. I was made up. Chugged along the motorway, stopped at services and had a large americano with sugar in. Got to flaxton, a pretty village and had to pick the keys up. Cottage (bungalow) on its own in the middle of nowhere, no houses for about half a mile. Saw a wild rabbit in the garden, so like saddos we stood mouths agape. In the visitors book someone wrote they saw a badger in the garden. Then this morning there were two pheasant/grouse type creatures in the main field. Its like a BBC2 documentary.
We went to tesco yesterday evening for petrol and coal and logs. made up with my increased mobility. Then back home for real fire and watching telly. Monday is not bad especially for soaps.
Great to stay in a place and not get worried about being stuck in bath or breaking chairs. Feel fantastic, OK I know I am a little manic but that beats depressed any day of the week. Rang home mum feeling better she's been to the docs and got antibiotics, and Nanny Banks is getting released today.
I am gonna write some postcards and just chill. Then a bit of shopping and off to pics tonight to see the Two Towers. Have to call at some shops and get a paper as well.

Monday morning

exciement mounts holiday draws near. Lobster and prawn all stayed in the appropriate place, and feeling tops. Printed out some photos of Olive the housekeeper in the MAtchworks, sent em in by post so Gail when Olive recieves them please explain. I also realised I have lost the gift of handwriting, so she wont be able to read the scrawled note. The weight loss world is getting interesting. My new chum Mick has been banned from a discussion board, I may well walk out in a display of solidarity.
All go here, rarin for the off. Will attempt to find a cyber cafe in York and update later in the week

Sunday evening

Last nights parties - a game of two halves, first over to Irby on the Wirral For Simons 40th. Me driving the big red bus, Paul navigating and Ruth and Jean chillin in the back. Found it ok, funny place locked door, buzz for access only two guys on security. Women only allowed in the Lounge. Very cheap drinks though and the reception area is plastered with minor celebs publicity shots, very phoenix nights. No talking when artistes are on sign.Met David and Jill there him looking strangely young (40 next year I believe). Nuts in bowls on tables, I felt like a peanut, or rather a big bag of peanuts. The drinks was a funny thing I aint seen for years. The spirits came in miniature bottles which hold 2.5 measures. Even those who remember me in full on drinking mode will vouch that these are a surefire way to end up bevvied very quickly. Responsible for many lost nights in the Winwick Hospital social club where I spent my formative years. Angie, Si's wife showed her extensive blog knowledge by asking how my Nanny Banks is. SI's mum and dad where there too, Simon and his dad are living proof of genetics, more like clones than anything (Apologies if I just upset anyone, I meant it in a nice way). Buffet looked good, and met Gibbo and his wife, Gibbo used to be in the boys brigade with me and Si. I haven't seen him since I got married, you've put on wieght he said.
Left there and bombed back to Sefon Park Conservative club, (Conservative in name only, any political affiliation died out years ago). Entered through the main door to see the singer crooning away, oh no Phoenix nights again. This was Marvin Maggots party aka John the youngest son of Hazel and Dave, fine old friends. Quite a few people who haven't seen me since the op so a few double takes and I was even ignored by two people who obviously didnt recognise me. Sat with Ruth ruth paul jean tommy phil and alan. They all got off fairly early but Jean and I stayed a while. Had a dance and a few glasses of redwine, and three bottles of water. nice buffet there too. I had some milk.
Got up late and went to see Nanny Banks in the Royal. She is sharing a room with three confused ladies and two other in full possession of faculties. The confused people were wandering round interfering looking physically sstrong. The people with their faculties were all frail.and mostly chairbound. Nanny was distressed, the confusion gets worse at night and she wants out. I went to have a chat to the ward sister about her. She is waiting for a doppler test, but they can do it as an outpatient, what about home they said, well the house is a death trap, she should be in residential care but wont go. She has reluctantly agreed to stay till tomoorow and see a doc, and increasse her care package to include an evening visit. Mum looked iller than Nanny and we should have too kNanny home and left mum in her place.
Picked my car up on way home and called at new bookstore in Speke, cant remember the name? Big place very impressed, and a starbucks in there too, got some american computer magazines, kewl. Lobster and prawn crepes for tea yum yum.

Saturday Afternoon

Bright and cheerful today, the weather and me too. Just got back from the gym lost nearly seven pound since Monday. Thats 11stone 2 lost, I feel good. Contacted by tina from Leeds who runs a support group in one of the hospitals there, she's a nurse and hoping to do some collaborative work. Sounds good. Cardiovascular exercise up to thirty three minutes.
LAst night visited by Jenny and her dad Phil gave Jenny a lift back to the station after the funeral, Jean went the crem, but I was avoiding it so stayed at work. On the way to work I saw my good friend Cozzie he's the cook at the bridge chapel. Topman to boot.
Spoke to Mickey Browne today, booking tickets for yes and Jools Holland at the summer pops. Should be good.

Friday morning

Only a little barf last night no serious side effects and eating ok this morning. I am going into work just so I can say I have been there every day this week. Which feels a bit normal, have to go the gym after that so a few hours onl. Discovered on the way home last night I can eat bananas. Might stop this 3 oclock dip I have beeen experiencing.

Thursday night

Had a call from Mick WLS friend who has lost eight stone. Set off for work meeting with auditor decent guy with ok sense of humour. Lunched then off to Hammy Productive time with Caroline and Fran.
Got home had mince and pasta, barfed a bit - we don't like that. Watched ER on E4 chatted to other WLSers on bgab

Thursday am

Work went wellish, got a bit tired towards the end, there seems such a lot to do and my energy reserves seem so low. Had a talk with Heather from days in mental health a long time ago. I immersed myself fully in the mental health experience, so much so I got severe depression, which still lingers in the background. I think I am a better person/manager for the experience. It has certainly helped to recognise and acknowledge when other bods are suffering. Anyone reading this who thinks it contains coded messages for them, should know me better. I don't do coded messages I only straight up front stuff. And YOU are probabaly paranoid, I certainly am. Didn't make the gym decided I could n't do everything so went home and went to bed. (After a dose of health giving buildup). Felt better on waking then bugged round getting ready for the quiz. We came second - we beat our main rivals (the team I usually play for), and that is what counts. After dropping everyone off I went to Tesco at ten past 12, how sad is that. I had to buy some cereal, the breakfast situation had got dire here. Hence the strawberry yoghurt fiasco yesterday. Cornflakes on board I am heading for a meeting with an auditor at the matchworks, this morning then off to see Fran at Hamilton House later. Need to fit a gym visit and nutrition in along the way. Got my book from obesityhelp.com this morning, called making the journey togetherits a collection of patient experiences only cost 10 dollars P&P inc. Right onward and upward.

Wednesday still on the up

Got to the conference for 10ish felt a bit ropey but soon perked up. Good atmosphere at the conference, good speakers, it taught me quite a lot about making health information accessible for people with impairments. Talk about accessible conferences they had a mike wired up to a loop system, two signers, two lip speakers and a guy transposing everything saud and projecting it on to a really easy to read screen. Some points about written info which should be obvious but aren't. They had a guy from Surrey who talked about accessibility - and how jargon is crap. He used real examples to illustrate. Laurence and Steve gave good value for money, met Lily Hopkins again she used to give me a hard time when she was chair of the Community Health Council. She is now chair of North Liverpool Primary Care Trust - doesnt fit into the usual stereotype of white, middle class, retired, or political appointee that abounds in the non-exec role(though it is getting better). Had a good day(till three) saw Gail and Sandra from South, Anita from Mosaic and quite a few people who clearly knew me but I wasn't sure who they were. Visited in the evening by Dave and Hazel, had a raucous good laugh. Their youngest (who I think is about 8) is 21 on Saturday. So we'll be busy, Simon (of bypass and Angie fame) is having a party same night. So over to Irby (over the water) and then back to the Con club for a stay behind. Friday is Mabels funeral, a lady who was 90+ from our old church. Don't know if I'll be going. Today then, got up late need to breakfast though the choices seem limited - I am a bit sick of tinned pears. Off to a meeting with Martin at 11.30 a GP in Garston. Need to go into work and get a gym visit in as well. Tonight our quiz team is making its first visit to Winwick. Jean, Ruth, Colin Paul and me who had regular outings pre-op at the cricket club are looking for a new gig. We are called the F&T's a well balanced team (or we used to be until I lost my memory). The girls are good at popular culture, films, Paul is a scientist, Colin is a sports and history bod. I just remember some daft things - or used to we'll see. My knowledge of seventies music and TV is sad in the extreme. Looking forward to it.

Tuesday am

Up early feeling good, ingesting a tinned pear now for breakfast, feeling full better stop. Due at a conference today at Anfield organised by Laurence Clark a good geezer who is a mate of mine. Said I wouldn't make all day but would make a guest slot at some time. Thats how it is, I hate being unreliable but - its all on the day. I felt great 5 mins ago but that pear is starting to fight back. Also worried about the sloppy diet provision at Anfield might have to nip out anf find a soup kitchen. Generally the rule is no work before 10.30 -11 but hell that could change, I am still on the up. Posted something for a friend on GP-UK and had a really nice message of personal support from the list owner. Generally on the up still.

Monday evening

Who would have thought things could get better. Discovered one of our neighboursis doing drop off pick up ironing service. 20 items for a tenner. Yahoo good on ya lets have some of that -he is coming at 6.15 to pick up the first load. More feedback later. Wandered into work and felt strangely good. Busy on the email front lot of stuff to clear. Then its off to the gym and and then pick Ally and the girls up. Heinz ravioli in a tin tonight. Yahoo - solidish food. Part two of Second coming tonight at nine.Things are looking up